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Day 80

At work, Blair made a number of calls and finally got a place that had group therapy three times a week for sexual abuse survivors and their families. Blair told them there would be three of them and wrote down the address.

Simon walked by the desk and said, "Sandburg, my office. Now."

Blair walked in and said, "What's up, Simon?"

"I want to know how you could have let Conner get so drunk that she fell down your stairs. That eye and cheek look terrible." Simon was nothing but concerned.

"It won't happen again, sir," Blair said quietly.

"She did fall down stairs, right? No one hit her, did they?"

"Sir, give me a break, eh?" Blair stood to leave because he hated lying to Simon.

"Fine, glad to have you back, Sandburg." Simon ran a hand over his tired face.

"Glad to be back, sir. Back to work I go." Blair walked over to Harper's desk and asked him something and then went over to his desk to work.

"Chief, please tell me you didn't invite Harper to the group session tonight," Jim asked.

"Okay," Blair continued typing.

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, I won't tell ya." Blair smiled over at his love, but didn't get a smile back.

"I'm not going, Sandburg. I didn't want to go anyhow, but now I really don't want to go." Jim stood up and walked into the break room.

Harper followed him in and said, "Ellison, Meyers and I need some therapy too. We just figured it would work since we all know everything about each other." Harper got himself a soda while he waited for Jim to yell.

"Fine, but don't think I'm going to say anything." Jim walked out of the room and sat back at his desk.

"Were you mature?" Blair asked in all seriousness.

"Yes, I'm going, but I'm not talking."

"Oh yeah. That's way mature. I'm so glad I thought of therapy," Blair said sadly.

"I'll try to work on my attitude, Chief. Sorry." Jim then went back to work to take his mind off of things.

That evening Conner met them at the loft and they all drove to Rainier together. "Is anyone else nervous?" Conner asked.

"I am." Blair wasn't afraid of his feelings.

"Well, I'm not. I just think it's stupid," Jim growled as he drove.

"I'm glad to see you're in the mood for this, Ellison," Conner said laughing.

"Admit it, Jim, you're nervous," Blair teased.

"Fine, I'm nervous. I hate you sometimes." Jim looked over at him to be sure he knew he was joking.

"I know you love me, Jim, don't worry about it."

"How did you know that's what he was thinking?" Conner asked.

"He gets these looks on his face that tell me he's scared that I'll be upset or hurt by something he says. So I watch for those looks and stop him before he gets too wild." Blair touched Jim's face as he was talking.

"I feel like I'm going to throw-up," Jim snarled.

"It'll be fine, Jim. Wait till we actually get there to throw up, all right?"

"Sandy, you are so much fun. I'm glad I have you two to hang with." Conner was laughing.

"I was serious," Jim said quietly and he pulled over to the side of the road and opened his door and threw up.

"What caused that, Sandy?"

"Well, I don't fucking know. Jim never throws up. What's going on, Jim?"

I told you it's this group thing. I don't want to go. I don't want to listen and I don't want to talk." Jim shut the door and began to drive again.

"Fine, just drop Conner and me off and we'll do it alone." Blair wasn't trying to make him feel guilty. He honestly didn't know what to do.

When he pulled into the parking lot he found a spot and parked. "Can you pick us up in a couple of hours, man?" Blair was starting to get out of the truck.

"No, I'm going with you. If you can do it, so can I," Jim walked up to him and put his arm around the younger man's shoulders.

"And if you need to puke, Jim, it's not that embarrassing. I mean we've all puked, right?" Conner offered.

When they walked down the hall to the room for the group, Jim made a dash for the bathroom.

"Sandy, that's weird."

"Tell me about it. The man never throws up. I'm worried. Sometimes therapy isn't good for the soul." Blair leaned against the wall waiting for Jim to join them.

When he joined them, he was white as a sheet. Blair looked at him and said, "You want to go home, Jim?"

"No, I'll be fine. I'm sorry, babe. I don't mean to worry you." Jim leaned down and kissed Blair's neck. He didn't want to kiss him on the lips. Gross.

They walked into the room and the only other people were Harper and Meyers.

"Where is everyone else?" Blair asked the woman standing there.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Linda Marshall. When I talked to you, I figured since you're all familiar with each other, you could just share the group with one another. There won't be anyone joining us."

"Hi, Dr. Marshall. I'm Blair Sandburg," Blair shook her hand and moved over so that Jim and Conner could do the same.

"Jim Ellison, ma'am."

"Megan Conner. But everyone just calls me Conner. And by the way, I call Blair, Sandy, so you'll know and not be confused."

"Well, it's great to meet all of you. Sit down and relax, everyone," Dr. Marshall said. "Who would like to start?"

No one said a word. Thankfully, she had paperwork on them. She knew most of what happened.

"All right, I'll get you started. Meyers, how are you handling the fact that your lover was with someone else because he was undercover?"

"I'm getting better every day. I think it just takes time. Harp is a great lover and he's really patient with me. So I'm sure everything will be all right." Meyers hoped he wouldn't have to say anything else.

"Who's next?"

"Fine, I'll go next." Blair hated the tension of waiting, "We're doing well, too, but we have a lot of obstacles to cross before we're fully healed.

"Such as?" Dr. Marshall asked.

"Well, he needs to get over hating Harper. He's a good guy and doesn't deserve to be treated like shit." Blair said this so quietly, it was almost a whisper.

"Chief, this is why I didn't want to come."

"Are you going to sit there and say you don't hate him?"

"Yeah, I fucking hate his guts. He took something from you that is only mine, but not anymore," Jim was starting to shake.

"Talk to me, Ellison," Harper stood up and looked right into Jim's face.

"Fine, you want talk. You'll get talk. Every time I see you talking to Blair, it rips my heart out. I can actually see you fucking him in my mind. And what's really sick, is that you fuck him so well that he likes it."

"You are so full of shit, Ellison. You know it wasn't like that. He hated it. He was crying for you." Harper had tears rolling down his face and wiped at them, like they were some inconvenience.

"Oh yeah, well if it was so god-awful, why can't I move on then? I think it's because you feel like you're his guardian. You're not. I'm his fucking guardian and you took away that job. I loved that job." Jim went down on his knees and started crying.

Harper went down next to him and said, "God, don't do this. He loves you so much, Ellison. Love him; don't hurt him. And please forgive me."

Then both men were sobbing. Blair was crying too, but silently. Conner had a hold on him until Jim got his shit together.

"So, Meyers, how does this make you feel?" Dr. Marshall asked.

"It makes me feel like shit. See I'm still somewhat angry about him doing that to Sandburg but I know that he wouldn't have done it if he wasn't on the job," Meyers said calmly.

"And seeing your lover cry doesn't upset you?"

"Of course it upsets me. I'm just not big on crying in front of people. Harp isn't either, usually."

Harp got up from the floor and took Meyers into his arms and held him tight. Meyers started to cry and said, "I'm sorry, Harp. I love you so much. I'm trying to get over all of this."

Everyone got settled back into their chairs and Dr. Marshall asked Blair, "So how do you feel about that night you were undercover?"

"There are times when I hate Harper and Jim. First of all, I felt like I was raped because I had no choice. I don't care who did it; it's still rape. So for that reason I hate Harp and I hate Jim because he wasn't there to help me and protect me."

Harper started to cry again. Jim's walls went up and wasn't saying or showing anything.

"Blair, don't you think that's a little unfair to both of these men? Were either of them in control of the situation?"

"No..."

"Then how could they be blamed?"

"My brain and my heart don't always agree with each other. Harper is a good man and I know he wouldn't hurt me on purpose. I'm sorry, Harp," Blair said.

"Sandburg, you don't have to apologize. That's what this group is for," Harp said in between sobs and hiccups.

"Jim, do you think that Blair blames you for not protecting him?"

"Yes..."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"No..."

"Maybe next week we can get you to say a little more." Dr. Marshall turned to Conner and said, "now tell me why you're here, Megan."

"Well, I'm here because they're all my friends. I don't want to see them hurt. And I was hoping to learn how to help someone when they are self-destructive."

"Who would this be, Megan?"

"It's me. She caught me trying to eat my gun while Blair was in prison and she won't let it go," Jim spat out.

"I would have died if you did. I was in charge of keeping him alive and he kept scaring me. I think I just need to know how to handle these things better. I wasn't much of a help." Conner looked at Jim sadly.

"I'm here, Conner." Jim smiled at her and then he hugged her.

"Megan, I think you must have done a good job to keep him alive and full of life, love and hope. You did just fine, right, Jim?"

"Yes, she did a fine job. She's my best mate." Jim kept hugging her.

"Now, Blair, we really need to get you talking more about all of this. Our time is up tonight. So in two days we'll meet again and I'd like you all to prepare a statement."

"A statement?" Jim wondered aloud.

"Yes, you're going to tell each person what you like about them and what upsets you about them. Then we'll have an open discussion. In the meantime, I want you all to take care and we'll set aside two hours for next time."

They all said goodbye to her and walked out to the parking lot.

On the drive home, Conner finally broke the silence and said, "Sandy, will you help me do the statement?"

"Conner, I don't even know what I'm going to say myself, let alone help you write yours."

"I'll help you, Conner." Jim pulled into the lot and parked.

Conner got out and Blair said, "What's up with you and Conner?"

"Chief, don't even go there. You know there's nothing going on." Jim walked up the stairs to the loft.

Conner left waving at Sandburg. Blair knew that there was nothing going on. He didn't know why he did that to Jim. Shit, he needed the therapy as much as Jim did.

When he walked into the loft he smiled at Jim and said, "I'm more screwed up than you are. I'm sorry I said that downstairs. Have patience with me, Jim," Blair went into the big man's arms and held on for dear life.

"I'll be here forever, Blair, because there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I will always need you. Always," Jim kissed him sweetly and led him up the stairs.

Both men knew there was going to be a long road to recovery, but they both knew that it would be worth it.

***

Ellison wasn't looking forward to the next session with Dr. Marshall. They had to think up things they liked or didn't like about each other. Jim could only see ugliness coming from this assignment.

Jim looked down at his paper and sighed. There was nothing written yet.

Things I like about Blair:

He's a great cop.

He sucks cock like no one else.

He fucks me hard.

He lets me fuck him whenever I want to.

He looks nice.

He looks damn nice.

He has a fine ass.

He has a gorgeous cock.

He cooks really healthy. (Wait this one might go in the hate one.)

He types up my reports at work and doesn't complain about it.

He talks to me and soothes my bad moods right away.

He loves me, or at least he used to.

Things I hate about Blair:

He makes me cry a lot lately and I hate crying.

He's messy.

He fucking blames me for Harper fucking him.

He gave up his life for me and hasn't looked at me the same since.

He doesn't love me like he used to.

He doesn't need me.

He's moving away from me, I can tell.

He doesn't hold me in bed anymore.

He blames me for everything.

Jim moved on to Conner next.

Things I like about Conner:

She saved my life.

She's my best mate.

She listens when no one else does.

She worries about me all the time.

She's like the brother I always wanted. (Conner would kick my ass for this.)

She's a great cop.

Things I hate about Conner:

She saved my life.

She hovers around me.

She won't leave me alone anymore.

Moving on to Harper:

Things I like about Harper:

He saved Blair.

He's good to Meyers.

He's a good cop.

He's a good neighbor.

Things I hate about Harper:

He saved Blair.

He's so perfect.

He's too big, that I can't kick his ass.

Meyers was up next:

Things I like about Meyers:

He's a gentle soul, but don't mess with Harper.

He's nice to everyone.

He cooks well.

He's a good cop.

He's a good neighbor.

Things I hate about Meyers:

He's too forgiving.

Jim decided that he'd do one on himself, too, just in case. He didn't want to be unprepared. Yeah, like you're going to let anyone read this shit.

Things I like about Jim:

Things I hate about Jim:

He's weak.

He cries like a wuss all the time.

He needs a wuss puss room.

He wasn't there to help Blair.

He can't beat up Harper.

He puked before the therapy session.

He probably won't be able to keep Blair happy. (LOSER)

He wants to kill himself and he's very angry with Conner for stopping him. Now he has to start all over again.

Jim put his papers inside his folder and went to lay down. He heard Blair get home and heard him on the computer.

***

Blair Sandburg's Friends List.

Things I like about Harper:

He saved my ass, literally.

He's very protective.

He's nice.

He doesn't know anyone watches, but I love when he smiles at Meyers.

He's a great neighbor.

He's a great friend.

Things I hate about Harper:

He fights with Jim.

He fucked me.

He came inside of me when he knew I didn't want it.

Things I like about Meyers:

He's a great cook.

He's a fantastic listener.

He's so forgiving.

He always smiles for everyone.

He's just a really nice guy.

Things I hate about Meyers:

He might hate me because of what happened.

He hates Jim.

Things I like about Conner:

She's my best friend.

She's fun.

She's kind.

She's a good cop.

She's always trying to get sex from Jim and me.

She saved Jim's life.

She was there for Jim while I was away.

She loves to drink and eat with us.

She loves to have a good time.

Things I hate about Conner:

She might be in love with Jim.

She knows that Jim's in love with her.

Things I like about Jim:

He's a beautiful person, inside and out.

He's in love with me.

He's strong.

He's a good cop.

He's a good friend to everyone.

Things I Hate about Jim:

He's in love with Conner.

He wants to leave me, but is afraid.

He will never forgive me.

He knows I'll never forgive him.

He's going to die; I can feel it.

***

Across town, Conner was sitting at her computer compiling her list for the session.

Things I like about Jim:

He's strong.

He's a good cop.

He's handsome.

He's a good best mate.

He's good to Sandy.

He tells me things that he doesn't tell anyone else.

Things I hate about Jim:

He has me worried to this day about him taking his own life.

He needs to forgive Harper.

He needs to forgive himself.

He needs to forgive Simon.

He won't sleep with me and I'm horny as all get out.

Things I like about Sandy:

He's one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

He cooks really well.

He's very handsome.

He smells nice all the time.

He's a good cop.

Things I hate about Sandy:

He's gay. Damn him.

Things I like about Harper:

He's very nice looking.

He's very strong and tall.

He's a good cop.

Things I hate about Harper:

He hurt Sandy.

He hurt my best mate.

Things I like about Meyers:

He's super nice.

He cooks really well.

He's really nice to Sandy.

He's a good cop.

Things I hate about Meyers:

He's also gay.

Things I like about Conner:

She's attractive.

She's nice.

She's a good best mate.

She'd make a really great mom.

She's a good cop.

Things I hate about Conner:

She wants to sleep with Jim Ellison.

She wants to have a baby in the worst way.

She wants it to be Jim's.

She's supposed to be his best mate.

***

Meyers, do you have your list done yet for tonight?" Harper asked as he was digging through the drawer for paper and pen.

"Yeah, I'm done already. Don't sweat about it. It's just for us to do. It's not like anyone's going to read them." Meyers kissed him as he handed him a paper and pen.

Thanks, babe. I'll get this done and then we'll go out for dinner," Harper sat down and began his list;

Things I like about Conner:

She's pretty.

She's a good cop.

She's friendly to everyone.

She's very loyal to Jim.

She loves both Jim and Blair.

She's always nice to Meyers and me.

Things I hate about Conner:

She nags at all of us too much.

Things I like about Sandburg:

He's a nice guy.

He's a good cop.

He's very kind to Meyers.

Things I hate about Sandburg:

He won't forgive me.

He thinks I raped him.

He might be right.

He's going to drive Jim away.

Things I like about Ellison:

He's a good cop.

He loves Sandburg.

He loves Conner.

Things I hate about Ellison:

He'll never forgive me.

He's always trying to get me to fight him.

He wants me to beat the shit out of him.

He has a death wish.

Things I like about Meyers.

He's the best thing in the world in my life.

He loves me.

He loves everyone.

He's so kind and gentle.

He's a great cook.

He's a great listener.

He's a great cop.

Things I hate about Meyers:

Not a damn thing.

Things I like about Harper:

He's a good cop.

Things I hate about Harper:

He fucked Sandburg.

He enjoyed it.

He came inside of him.

***

Meyers decided he would put some finishing touches on his list. Never know who will see it.

Things I like about Conner:

She's nice.

She's a good cop.

Things I hate about Conner:

She's mean to Harp sometimes.

She's mean to Sandburg sometimes.

She has the hots for Ellison.

Things I like about Ellison:

He's a good cook.

He's a good cop.

He can be nice to Sandburg now and then.

Things I hate about Ellison:

He's a prick to Harp.

He's mean to Sandburg most of the time.

He's mean to Conner.

He's very unhappy.

He's sad.

He's confused and I worry about him.

Things I like about Sandburg:

He's a great listener.

He's a super cop.

He's a great cook.

He's great to have as a neighbor.

He's a good friend.

Things I hate about Sandburg:

He lets Ellison walk all over him.

Things I like about Harper:

He's my life.

He's my love.

He's funny.

He's a fantastic cop.

He loves me.

He loves life.

He's a great friend.

Things I hate about Harper:

He fucked Sandburg and won't get over it.

Things I like about Meyers:

He's a good lover.

He's a good friend.

He's a decent cop.

He's faithful.

He's in love.

Things I hate about Meyers:

He can't get past this whole undercover thing.

He needs more attention.

"Why are we writing these again?" Meyers asked.

"She said it was because we needed to gauge our feelings and these little lists would help." Harper looked over at Meyers and smiled, "Well, I never said it's true. It's just what she said."

Wednesday

That night, everyone had their notebooks with them as they walked into the room.

"Hello everyone. Sit down and get comfortable," Dr. Marshall said and then as quick as she could, she picked up all of the notebooks.

"Wait a minute. Give that back to me. It's private," Jim yelled.

"Tough. This is how I'll keep track of feelings. I'm the only one that's going to read them. It will give me a place to start. All right, we're going to start with one thing tonight. And we'll see where that takes us," Dr. Marshall looked over the lists quickly for an idea of where to start.

"I can hardly wait." Jim wasn't a happy camper.

"Jim, give it a rest. None of us want her to know the stuff we put on those lists," Blair said, rubbing Jim's arm firmly.

"Okay, here we go. Now everyone can say something, but one at a time. Jim, the first one will be you. I need you to talk to Harper about how you really feel about what happened while undercover," she just sat and waited for the blow-up called Ellison.

"Harper, I put on my list that I hate you because you saved Blair." Jim looked at the floor waiting for Harper's reply.

"I don't understand, Jim. Why would you hate me because I saved him?"

"Because he doesn't love me the same way anymore. Now he knows that anyone can save him and it changed everything." Jim hated therapy and now he really hated it.

"Jim, you're so full of shit. You hate Harper because he saved Sandy? Tell us why you really hate him." Conner wasn't pulling any punches.

"Yeah, this I'd like to hear, too," Meyers said.

"Fine, I hate you for saving him the way you did? Did you have to fuck him? God, you're a big guy, couldn't you have just taken him away?"

"Now we're getting somewhere," Conner said softly.

"So you hate me because I fucked him, right?"

"Yes. And what really bothers me is you're a great guy. I like you. You're a great cop, but you fucked the man I loved." Jim was starting to shake.

"Excuse me... I hate to be an asshole here, but you just said you loved. Not love, but loved. You don't love me anymore?" Blair had big tears in his eyes.

"Chief, that came out wrong. I'm sorry. I do love you. I meant to say the man I love," Jim quickly added.

Blair jumped out of his chair and began to pace. Everyone watched him as he blew his nose and wiped tears from his face. "You don't love me anymore, do you, Jim?"

"Chief, you know that's bullshit. I love you. I'll always love you." Jim tried to go towards Blair but he wouldn't let the larger man get close to him.

"Sit down, Jim. I don't want you touching me right now." Blair leaned into the wall and watched as Jim left his side. How easily he does that these days.

"Did you stop loving him because of what happened?" Harper asked Jim.

"No, I love him. Why are you all saying I don't love him?" Jim put his head in his hands and fought off the urge to cry his heart out.

"I didn't say it, Jim. I think you love him, but you're letting the hate of what happened get in the way of your pure love," Conner almost whispered sitting next to him.

"Harper, I'll work on how I feel about you. Okay? I'm sorry for feeling this way." Jim looked to be one of the saddest people on earth right then.

"It's okay to hate me. You don't have to like me, Jim. We don't need to be best buds, after all." Harper had tears in his eyes as he said it.

"When you fucked him what were you thinking?" Jim asked quietly.

"What do you mean? I was thinking about getting done with it so we could get away from them." Harper tried to stay calm.

"That's not what I asked. What were you thinking about him while you fucked him?" Jim was getting overly anxious.

"Jim, I don't remember."

"Fuck you, you remember everything else. Now what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking how good he felt. I was thinking how this was an awful thing but I was so glad I got to fuck him. Happy now?" Harper stood up and was crying.

Jim heard Blair crying over in the corner so he went to him first. "Chief?"

"God, you have to let it go, Jim. I didn't want to hear that." Blair sobbed into Jim's chest.

"I'm sorry, babe. I'll go and apologize to him now." Jim stood up.

"You think apologizing to him is going to fix things? Not hardly. You've fucked up our friendships and things will never be the same." Blair was screaming at Jim by this time.

"Blair, let's not let our tempers get out of control," Dr. Marshall said quickly.

Jim looked around the room and saw everyone's lives that he had screwed up somehow and took off out the door. He ran all the way to the truck, got in and drove off before anyone had a chance to stop him.

He was quite surprised when he found himself in front of Simon's house. He went to the door and knocked.

"Hey, Jim. What's wrong? Come on in," Simon said, pulling his friend through the doorway.

"Can I put my pickup in your garage?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want Conner or Blair to know where I'm at. Could I stay the night?"

"Yeah, let's get your truck in the garage first and then I'll get you settled in Daryl's room." Simon pulled his car out and Jim pulled the truck in and they walked back into the house.

"Do you want to talk, Jim?"

"No. Maybe tomorrow, Simon?"

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Thanks, Simon." Jim hugged him quickly and moved into Daryl's room.

***

Dr. Marshall said, "All right, I don't want to alarm anyone but Jim has death fantasies. Where would he go if he left here?"

"He's a big boy. He's probably home, pouting," Blair growled.

"Sandy, that's so unlike you. Jim loves you to death. Is that what it's going to take? For him to die to show you how much he loves you?" Conner was screaming at Blair by this time.

"Fuck you, Conner. You just want him for yourself," Blair screamed back.

"That might be true, but he doesn't love me. God, knows I would love him to."

"Back to the question, isn't anyone worried about him?" Dr. Marshall seemed to be quite upset.

"Can I please see his paper, Doc?" Harper held his hand out and was shocked when she put the paper in it.

Harper read the paper and sat down hard on the chair. He passed it to Meyers and Meyers was in total shock, too. Conner read it next and started to cry. Blair walked over and read it and walked out of the room. Harper followed him down the hall and said, "Sandburg, what are you doing?"

"God, he does love me. Did you read the things he said about me. He thinks I'm wonderful. I'm a fucking prick. I've been so worried about me that I never thought about him. He's probably killing himself somewhere. God, how did I miss that? He's suicidal, isn't he?"

"Yeah, I think so. It's not too late. Let's all go and find him." Harper grabbed Blair and pulled him back the other way.

"Why?" Blair asked.

"Why what?"

"Why are you going to help us find him? You told him tonight that you didn't need to be friends," Blair looked up at Harper, really needing to know.

"Because I don't want to tell him but I like him a lot. He's been a good friend. Good friends are hard to come by." Harper opened the door to the room and they found everyone ready and waiting.

"We'll meet on Friday. Go and find your friend and we'll try and get past some of this as time goes on," Dr. Marshall was talking but no one was really listening.

Out in the parking lot, Conner said, "Did you all see the section about Things I like about Jim? Did you see it was empty? Did this break anyone else's heart?"

Blair started to sob quietly as he walked to Conner's car. Meyers hugged him and said, "We'll get to him, Blair. Harper likes him a lot. He just doesn't want anyone to know."

Harper took Meyers aside and said, "I'm going to go to Captain Bank's house and I need you to go with Sandburg and Conner. Keep them away from there, in case there is anything bad."

"Okay. Talk to you later?"

"Of course you'll talk to me later. I love you." Harper leaned down and gave his man a nice kiss before he drove off.

"Where's Harper going?" Blair asked.

"He's got a case to look into. But he told me that we're supposed to go to Brown's apartment first, and follow up with Rafe's. Ready?" Meyers got into the back seat and waited for Conner and Sandburg to join him.

"Brown's apartment, it is," Conner said as she drove out of the lot.

***

Simon had been watching a movie in peace and quiet when there was a knock at the door. He opened it and saw Harper. "What do you want, Harper?"

"I need to see Jim right now. I know his truck is in the garage. It's important or I wouldn't be bothering you with it. It's a matter of life and death," Harper said the last word with emphasis.

"First room to the left, down the hallway." Simon had a feeling something was worse than wrong.

"Thank you, sir."

"Don't let him hurt himself." Simon sat down with a lost look on his face.

Harper walked into the bedroom and saw the moonlight shining on Jim Ellison, and in that moonlight glow, he also saw a gun underneath Jim's chin. Harper casually walked over and said, "Don't do this to him. He loves you. Hell, I love you."

"Leave me alone. I'm a fucking mess." Jim hand was shaking, thankfully, which made Harper think he wouldn't go through with it.

"Well, at least say goodbye to him, okay? I'll get him on the phone now." Harper dialed Meyers phone and asked for Sandburg.

"Fuck you," Ellison whispered.

"Back at ya, pal. Now here's Blair."

"Jim?"

"Yeah, Chief, it's me. I'm fine. Stop worrying so much. Your heart is beating way too fast." As soon as Jim said it he knew he had made a mistake.

"So you're all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just sitting here shooting the breeze with Harper," Jim glared at Harp.

"Can I talk to Harp for a second, Jim?"

"He wants to talk to you." Jim handed the phone to him.

"Hey, Sandburg. What do you need?"

"Is he holding a gun to his head?"

"Yes."

"Oh fuck, give him back to me." Blair was frantic now.

"Here you go, he wants you now." Harper handed the phone over and stood by the door.

"Jim, do you love me? Or did you stop loving me after this?"

"I'll love you forever, Chief. Forever."

"So you love me right now?"

"Yes, I love you." Jim wondered when Blair had lost brain cells.

"Jim, do you love me enough to give the gun to Harper?"

"Nope."

Blair started to cry, making the most heartbreaking sound Jim had ever heard. "Everyone will blame me Jim. They'll all hate me. God, they'll probably kill me at the station."

"No one would ever hurt you, Blair. Everyone loves you. Besides, Harper will watch out for you."

"Jim..." Blair sobbed out, "I don't want to be with him. He doesn't love me like you do. He doesn't touch me like you do. God, don't leave me."

Harper walked over to Jim and said, "I'm done, Jim. I'm not babysitting your fuck buddy."

Jim threw the phone and his gun down and jumped on Harper's back. Both men went down and were fighting the good fight. For every punch Jim got, Harp got one back. Simon opened up the door and said, "Do I have to get the damn hose?"

Jim started to get up and Harper held on to him tightly. "NO! You're not leaving me. Just stay here. I want to talk to you."

"Simon, could you pick up our guns and take them out of here, please?" Harper said it so sweetly that to the naked eye and ear you would think nothing was up. "Oh, and would you grab that phone and tell Sandburg that I've got him?"

Simon got the guns and the cell phone and left the room. He heard crying that sounded a lot like Ellison but then he heard crying that didn't sound like him. Why would Harper be crying?

"Ellison, I love you," Harper said it so quietly that even the Sentinel had a hard time hearing it.

"What are you talking about?"

"I love you."

"I heard what you said. I just want to know why you would ever love me," Jim looked totally confused.

"I love you because you've been trying so hard to make all of this work. You seem to think you have to take care of everyone. Always looking out for each and every one of us. What we all missed was that you needed to have someone look out for you, too. I love the way you look at Sandburg. We all think that you're just perfect together. I love the way you accepted me as a friend when I saved Blair in the locker room at the station. You were jealous but you still accepted me. I love how kind you are to my lover. Even when you're mad at me, you're never mean to Mey. I loved your paper that you wrote and likes and dislikes for everyone. The only thing that bothered me was that you had nothing for what you like about Jim Ellison. There is so much to like about Jim Ellison. Want a list?

"He's kind.

"He's a great cop.

"He's a great friend.

"He's a great lover.

"He's fun.

"He's fun to tease.

"He's my friend.

"He's everyone's friend.

"He's loved.

"He's needed."

Harper felt the crying start to get harder and held on tight. "Jim, we'll get through this. Don't you worry, okay?"

When Blair finally arrived about an hour later, Jim and Harper were sound asleep on the floor in each other's arms. Blair covered them up with a quilt and was going to leave when Jim said, "Chief, don't leave me."

Blair snuggled up to him on the floor and they fell asleep again. In the morning Blair woke up to no one on the floor. "Shit..."

"I'm in the bathroom, Chief. Don't freak out," Jim called from the bathroom.

Blair walked in and saw Harper in the shower while Jim was shaving. "I'm not looking, Chief."

Blair went into his arms and Jim could feel the shaking. "Hey, I'm going to go see a special shrink. Someone better than what we've seen. Sound good to you?"

"We could see one together, couldn't we?" Blair asked shyly.

"Yeah, we could. But just you and me, and I get to choose the doc this time," Jim said smiling.

"Excuse me, guys, could you get the hell out so I can get out of the shower?" Harper said laughing as he climbed out of the shower stall.

Once they were in the kitchen Blair said, "Wait till you hear what Conner put on that list about you."

"What?"

"She wanted you to fuck her and have your baby." Blair was giggling by this time.

"She wasn't serious, was she?"

"I don't know. Why?" Blair looked over at his lover with confusion written all over his face.

"It's just embarrassing. Now every time I look at her I'm going to think she wants to jump my bones." Jim was up and pacing.

"Well what if she was serious? Would you be interested?"

"Hell, no! But I think we should tell her up front that we can't do that. The baby part, maybe, but not fuck her." Jim turned around to find his lover smiling at him.

"I told her you would say that. God, do I know you or what?"

"Hey, where's Simon?"

"Who cares?" Blair jumped up and wrapped his legs around Jim's waist and began to kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

Jim pulled back and whispered, "I love you so much, Chief. I won't ever leave you."

***

For the next two months, Jim and Blair continued to go to therapy with a really good doctor. One that knew he'd have to use cuffs on them sometimes. They started dating at the doctor's request. Three times a week, they asked each other out on dates. And they were holding off on sex for the big day.

When they walked into Dr. Walker's office, they were both smiling. They had a feeling it might be the end of therapy, as they knew it.

"Hi, Jim. Hi, Blair," Dr. Walker began, "how are you both doing today?"

"I'm a little horny, but other than that I'm doing fine," Blair said, with an evil smile.

"I'm doing great. The weather has been gorgeous. I love not having to deal with rain for a while. I feel great!" Jim had a huge smile on his face.

"Now, if you have trouble, what will you do?" Walker asked.

"Call you first thing," Blair said.

"Call you first thing," Jim repeated.

"Good, just so that's clear. Now I think you're both ready to move on. You've both done really well and I'm proud of you," Walker said.

"Can we go, really?" Jim had a big smile lighting up his face.

"Yup. Get out of here. Oh, and your friends called and said to meet them at the Pub. They said you'd know what they meant." Walker opened up the door and watched the two happy men leave his office.

As soon as he shut the door, he said very quietly, "All right."

Jim heard him and smiled even more as they walked to the truck. They knew they were going to have sex but they also knew that they had friends planning this party.

"Jim, do you suppose we could have sex in the stall in the bathroom while we're there? I'm really warm for your form." Blair couldn't help laughing as Jim almost drove off the road.

Jim hadn't a clue as to how serious Blair was about bathroom sex at the Pub but he would find out.

Once they arrived, everyone yelled for them and they danced, drank and ate food most of the evening. Blair stood up and said, "Jim, will you be sure I make it there in one piece?"

"Make it where, Sandburg?"

"To the bathroom," Blair said with that evil smile again.

"I'll be there in five minutes," Jim said as he pushed Blair away from him. Honestly? His dick was trying to lift the table up. Conner slid in and said, "I think he's waiting, Jim."

"Fuck, does everyone know what we're going to do?" Jim frowned.

"Hell, yes, and we're behind you all the way," Conner said, moving out of the booth leaving it open for Jim to leave. Which he did.

When he walked into the bathroom, he was attacked by one very horny partner. "Stall, Chief. Stall."

"Is that something you want to do? Stall?"

"No, in a stall. Come on." Jim pulled him in and quickly opened Blair's jeans and shirt. "It's been so long, baby." He went down on his knees and started sucking his lover off. Jim had some lube in his pocket, so he put some on his finger and started playing with Blair's ass. And just like that Blair came with a loud scream.

"Sorry, Jim. I didn't mean to be so vocal. It's been a long time is right," Blair panted and tried to get his breath back.

Jim slid a second finger into Blair's ass and got him nice and loose. By the time Jim had the third one in there Blair was hard again and begging for something to happen.

Two guys walked into the bathroom at that moment and were talking about the game while at the urinal.

Blair whispered, "So are you going to fuck me or not?"

The old Jim would have been worried, but this Jim needed to fuck Blair so badly that he entered Blair in one swoop making Blair cry out. Jim leaned in and asked, "Did I hurt you?"

"Move it, big man, or I'll have to kick your ass," Blair moved his rear end forward and then moved it back again. Jim was moaning by this time and the men in the bathroom said, "Stupid fags."

As Jim was pounding into Blair he called out, "We're not stupid."

Blair started to laugh for a few moments and then stopped when he got close again. "Jim, come in me. Come on. I want to come with you coming in me."

Jim did just that. He let out a howl as he came into Blair, over and over again. He felt like he hadn't had sex in years. And then Blair was coming, milking his cock of anything that was left.

"I love you," Jim said out loud.

"Ya think?" Blair teased.

They cleaned each other off and went back out to the bar. Everyone knew what they had done, but they had the decency not to bring it up to their faces.

"Hey, you guys, want to hear what happened in the bathroom?" Blair asked.

"No." Simon said quickly.

"Simon, man, not that. I mean what someone said." Blair laughed.

"Oh, well, sure. What did someone say?" Simon asked, having no idea he was walking into the Sandburg zone with no protection.

"Well, Jim was fucking me and these two guys heard it. The one guy says to the other guy, "Stupid fags."

Simon spit beer all over Joel. "Sorry, Joel. That's it, Sandburg?"

"No, so anyhow, he says stupid fags and Jim doesn't even miss a beat with fucking me and said, "We're not stupid."

Everyone in the place started laughing.

"Why do I set myself up for these things?" Simon asked no one in particular.

"Because, Simon, they're so damn funny. Even if you say you don't want to hear about it, you know that we really do. There is something about them that just makes you feel great." Joel loved those boys.

"Hey, Conner, want to come over for dinner tomorrow?" Jim asked.

"That would be nice. Thank you."

"Man, I wish someone would invite us to dinner." Harper smiled over at the happy couple.

"Chief, how many do you want for dinner tomorrow?" Jim asked.

"Just Conner. Then we're going to have Harper and Meyers over the next night if that's okay with them."

"Cool, I don't have to cook that night," Meyers said going into Harper's arms. Then he started laughing making Harper look at him. "I was just thinking about Ellison saying, 'we're not stupid'. You have to admit, Harp, that's pure Sandburg trained, Ellison."

Everyone continued talking, drinking and eating until closing time. When they all left it was with a light heart, knowing that Sandburg and Ellison were once again a team. They were on top of their game and they were happy.

The following night Conner showed up at the loft, nervous. She had no idea why she was asked over for dinner and no one else.

Jim opened up the door before she knocked and she almost fell in. "Hey, Conner. Have too much to drink?"

"Oh shut up. Where's Sandy?"

Blair popped up from where he had been looking for a pan. "Evening, Conner."

"Jesus, he sounds like someone in a western." Megan went over and kissed him on the cheek and handed him the wine.

They sat down for dinner and Jim poured the wine. Finally, Conner couldn't take it anymore. "All right. What's going on? Why only me for dinner?"

"Jim wants to talk to you."

"Is something wrong?" Conner sounded panicked.

"No, nothing's wrong but I need to tell you a few things. I used you while Blair was undercover. No, we didn't have sex, but believe me, I thought about it. And I continued to use you, so that I wouldn't be alone. I was an asshole and for this I'm truly sorry. You're a very dear friend and I abused our friendship. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me." Jim took a deep breath once he got it all out.

"That's it? Geeze, Jim, I wanted to sleep with you non-stop. So don't feel bad about that. Yes, I think we both used each other and that was wrong but we know better from now on. I'm sorry, too," Conner moved her chair over and hugged Jim.

"Conner, did you still want a baby?" Blair blurted out.

Conner swallowed her wine wrong and began to choke on it. Jim started hitting her and said, "Conner, you can't have a baby if you're dead."

"Do you mean it?"

"It would depend. You can't move back to Australia without our permission. We'd have to go with you, I guess." Jim smiled.

"Jim and I told the shrink that we wanted a child. He thought it didn't sound like a bad idea. Think on it and get back to us." Blair took a swig of his wine and added, "this is great wine, Conner."

They spent the rest of the evening just talking and enjoying each other's company. When Conner left late that night Blair made sweet love to Jim. He hadn't had a chance to do that since they finished with the doctor. Jim cried, so Blair knew that he'd done it right.

The following evening after a long day in the bullpen, Harper and Meyers showed up at their doorstep for dinner.

Jim opened it up before they knocked and Harper fell into Jim. "That fucking freaks me out."

"Deal with it, Harp. Hey, Jim." Meyers walked in carrying the wine.

"Hey, Mey. Thanks for bringing the wine," Jim called out. Blair took the wine and put it in the fridge. "Hey, Mey. How you doing?"

"Does anyone care how I'm doing?" Harp asked.

"No...." everyone said in unison.

Jim helped Blair get everything set at the table and then everyone sat down for dinner. Like the evening before Jim poured the wine.

"Blair, everything looks wonderful," Meyers said, taking a drink of the wine, "and this wine is great. God, I'm good."

"It's nice being married to someone so shy and reserved," Harp said, causing everyone to stop eating and look at him.

"Harp, you just said being married to someone," Mey said, blushing.

"Well, I think of us as being married. Ellison, don't you think of you and Blair as being married?"

"Yeah, I do. And I love being married." Jim leaned over and kissed Blair.

"Me, too!" Harp leaned into Meyers and kissed him long and hard.

"Get a room you two," Blair teased.

When dinner was all done, Harp asked, "So what is the deal? Why did you want to see us alone?"

"Well, I needed to talk to you both and I preferred to do it in private. I hope that's all right." Jim hoped they wouldn't be uncomfortable with his words.

"By all means, we're here to listen," Harp said.

"I have my paper with everything I said I liked and didn't like about you guys. Except now it's revised. So I'd like you both to read it. I hope I don't offend either of you in any way," Jim passed the paper to them shyly.

Things I like about Harper:

He saved Blair.

He's good to Meyers.

He's a good cop.

He's a good neighbor.

Things I added, that I like about Harper:

He's a good friend.

He saved my life.

He loves me.

He's loved by me.

He looks out for everyone.

Things I hate about Harper:

He saved Blair.

He's so perfect.

He's too big, so I can't kick his ass.

Things I added:

He saved Blair, thank god.

He's not perfect.

He is big, but I don't want to kick his ass anymore.

He should have kicked my ass.

Meyers was up next:

Things I like about Meyers:

He's a gentle soul, but don't mess with Harper.

He's nice to everyone.

He cooks well.

He's a good cop.

He's a good neighbor.

Things I added:

He's a good friend.

He loves everyone.

He smiles at Harper cute.

He thinks that Harper doesn't notice.

He loves me, even though I'm an asshole.

Things I hate about Meyers:

He's too forgiving.

Things I added:

There is nothing to add.

Meyers, you're a wonderful person and I'm truly blessed to have you as a friend. I'm here for you anytime. I love you and the big lug.

Jim

Both men finished reading and looked over at Ellison and smiled. Jim relaxed when he saw the smiles.

"I love you, too," Harper said quietly.

"How about some dessert, guys?" Blair asked getting up.

Harper got up and went into the kitchen with Blair to help. "Hey, you guys are doing great." Then he pulled him into a fierce hug.

"What brought that on?" Blair asked looking up at him.

"I just love you guys, that's all. I'm so fucking glad that we're friends." Harper then went into the bathroom.

Jim looked at Blair and said, "Was it what I said?"

"No. He's just overcome with emotion and doesn't want to cry in front of us," Blair said smiling.

"Well, shit! He cries in front of me almost nightly," Meyers said.

"I heard that, Mey. I'm going to kick your sweet ass." Harper came out of the bathroom and picked his lover up and just held on to him.

"Again I say, get a fucking room," Blair laughed.

"Stupid fags." Jim laughed as he watched the look on Harp's face when it hit him.

"We're not stupid," Harp said, laughing, as he then let go of Mey to help put dessert on the table.

When they left that night, it was Jim's turn to make sweet love to Blair. This time he made Blair cry, so he must have been doing it right.

The doctor was right. Every day things would get better. Soon they wouldn't have to cry so often. Everyone would come around and we would all heal. He was right, so Jim and Blair sent him some flowers to say thank you.

Jim had told Dr. Walker that there was only one thing he was sure about in life and that was that he needed Sandburg. The doctor told Jim he was a smart man.

Six Months Later

Jim was sitting on the balcony off the living room and trying to cool off. He couldn't remember a time Cascade had ever been this warm for so many days in a row. He held the cool beer bottle up to his forehead and hoped that would cool him off for a bit.

His damn Sentinel senses made things even worse sometimes. Not that he liked to complain about them. Keep lying to yourself, Ellison.

Everything seemed hotter than it should be. Jim swore that if he went out into the parking lot without shoes, he would get third degree burns. What kind of an idiot would go with no shoes?

At that moment Blair came running into the loft, barefoot. "Chief, what are you doing going without shoes?"

"Lighten up, Jim. I just ran down to get the mail. It's not like I would walk across the tar-covered pavement in the parking lot. Who would be that dumb?"

"Yeah, you're probably right." Jim tried to go back to cooling off.

Blair walked out with a bucket of ice water and towels and began to cool Jim down. Why are you cooling him down, you want him to be hot. He laughed to himself and Jim said, "What are you laughing about?"

"You just look so damn sweet. Hold this on your forehead while I answer the door." Blair walked into the loft and Jim was almost asleep. Blair always knew how to relax him.

I'm the Sentinel, yet he's the one that heard the door. I'm slipping. I need a break.

Jim was sleeping and felt Blair putting more water on his towel and suddenly there was an ice-cube down his shorts. He howled and jumped up to find Meyers laughing. "Meyers, what the fuck are you doing?"

Harper came around the corner and said, "Ellison, is he bugging you?"

"Yes. What are you two doing here anyhow?" Jim mumbled.

"You would think he's not happy to see us or something." Meyers smiled over to his lover.

"Jim, I asked Captain Banks if you and Sandburg could get a week off for a vacation and he said yes," Harper was so pleased with himself.

"Harper, I have work to do. I can't just up and leave," Jim said angrily, walking into the loft.

"Well, I guess you'll have to surf by yourself, Harp. Sorry about that." Meyers feigned hurt feelings.

"Where are you going? You're going to be surfing?" Jim's face lit up like a roman candle.

"Rincon Point, Ventura, California. I worked on a case for a high profile person and he gave me two rooms and four first class airline tickets, paid in full. We thought we'd ask you guys if you wanted to go." Meyers looked over at Blair to see if he seemed interested. He was bouncing on his heels. I guess he wants to go.

"Chief?"

"Jim, it's your call. If your work is that important I don't want to push you on a vacation to somewhere we could only dream of going." Blair smiled over at his lover.

"You guys are 'so' on." Jim grabbed Blair and hugged him. "When do we leave?"

"Four days," Meyers yelled as they walked out of the loft.

"Man, do you believe this? Jim, I've always wanted to go there." Blair was pulling suitcases out of the closet in his old room. He looked over and saw that Jim didn't look near as happy anymore. "What's wrong?" I'm going to kill him; I swear I am.

"I'm not going to desert you while I go surfing. That would be shitty. We'll go fishing and stuff instead." Jim leaned in for a kiss.

"Jim, I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself. You don't need to entertain me while we're there. Well, except in bed." Blair finally gave him that kiss.

"You wouldn't mind if I surfed like one day or something?"

"Not at all. But if we're going to be there, I want you to do it as much as you can. You'll make it up to me somehow." Blair gave him a shit-eating grin.

The next four days flew by and found four very happy detectives boarding a plane. "First Class, do you believe it, Jim?"

"Nah, I think Meyers made that up and they'll toss us out." Jim laughed at the look on Meyers face.

"He's going to tease me this whole trip, isn't he?" Meyers talked only to Blair now.

"Don't let him get your goat."

"Hey! I don't share that damn goat with anyone," Meyers laughed along with Blair.

"I don't get it," Jim said to Harper.

"Like I do? We're the old ones, Jim." Harper sat back and seemed to just relax instantly.

"Would you mind sitting with your partner. I have to be near Harp." Meyers shoved Jim over across the aisle and Jim laughed as he let him.

I think this might be a fun vacation. Was the thought going through all of their minds.

Waiting for their luggage at the airport in Ventura, the men were all bouncing with excitement.

"Ellison, you think they'll let us catch a few waves today?" Harper asked in a whisper.

"I don't see why not. As long as we don't get ourselves killed, I think they'll go along with almost anything." Jim smiled as he walked up to Blair.

Harper rented an SUV, they all got the luggage and they were packed in for the trip to the hotel.

"Whoa, nice hotel. It's gorgeous. How far from the beach?" Harper asked.

"It's right outside our back door, hot shot," Meyers patted his arm softly.

When they checked in, they found out they were right next door to each other. In fact, they had adjoining rooms. Jim wasn't wild about that but he wasn't going to ruin this for Blair.

"Man, look at this room. Look at the ocean, Jim. Man, this is beautiful."

"I couldn't agree with you more, Chief." Jim pulled him in for a much needed hug.

There was a knock on the adjoining door and Harper walked in, "Hey! Want to catch a wave or two?"

"Go ahead, Jim. Have fun. Meyers and I will find something to do." Blair kissed him and pushed him towards the bathroom to get ready.

"Sandburg, you want to soak up rays on the sand?" Meyers called from his room.

"Sounds good to me." Blair walked into the bathroom and almost laughed. "Gee, that looks comfortable, Jim."

Jim was trying to get his wet suit on and it wasn't fucking cooperating, at all. "Could you help me, Chief?"

"Sure." Blair smiled and got Jim into it easily and then slapped his ass as he walked out. "Wear that for me later, okay?"

"Oh ha ha." Jim tried not to laugh as he walked out of the room where Harper was waiting for him. They grabbed their boards and they were off. "Bye, Chief. Bye, Meyers," Jim called out.

"Bye, guys, have fun and be safe," Blair called after them.

"Harp, you be careful or you'll have to answer to me. Did you both remember your sex wax?" Meyers asked seriously.

Both men stopped and said, "Shit, I forgot."

Jim ran in the room and grabbed some wax and they were back to the game plan.

"Sandburg, you want to put some Sunscreen on me and then I'll put some on you?"

"Sounds good to me." Blair rubbed him down and then Meyers took it from him to rub it into Blair's skin.

"Ready?" Meyers grabbed some soda's and beer and put them in a cooler.

"Leave the beers. We don't know if they'll let us have them down there. Just take the sodas."

"Gotcha. Onward and upward," Meyers said smiling.

They had their towels ready to go on the hot sand so they could sleep in the sun.

Once they were settled, they didn't say anything for awhile as they listened to two women talking about their husbands. Both men had their mouths open, because they were discussing anything and everything, including sex. When they left Meyers looked at Blair and said, "Do you believe that?"

"I think it's kind of neat that they can discuss things like that. I mean, we're all too uptight to do that," Blair replied.

"Not me. I could do that. I'll start. In the morning, Harper has to have sex or he thinks he'll die in the line of duty. I always tease him about yeah having a boner all day would throw your aim off." Meyers laughed along with Blair.

"And?"

"Anyhow, he's got the nicest cock and I love to taste it first thing in the morning. He hates that because he's always afraid he'll piss in my mouth because he has to go so bad."

Blair was moving closer as he listened. This is fucking good.

"I keep telling him that wouldn't matter. Anything about him would be fine in my mouth. Then I go down on him and he comes fast and hard. Honestly, we do this every morning." Meyers was fanning himself by this time.

"Man, that was hot. Now we know why the women talk about this." Blair fanned himself, too.

"Your turn, Sandburg,"

"I don't know about this," Blair was stalling.

"Tell me one thing you like the most about Jim's body," Meyers teased.

"Well, that's easy. His ass. God, he's got the finest ass that was ever put on this earth. I kid you not." Blair not only looked but sounded like a man in love.

"Well, I told you a lot more than that. That's not fair," Meyers whined.

"Fine. Okay, in the morning I'm the one that has to have him. Every single morning. I look at that ass and I can't help it. He loves to be tongue fucked first. So that's how we start."

"Does he ever come from just that?" Meyers asked.

"Yeah, sometimes. Depends on how horny he is. So anyhow, I start with the tongue fucking and see how long he's going to last. Then I get the lube and start to loosen him up. He knows that I'm not going to fuck him until he starts begging and he begs really good."

"Oh do tell." Meyers and Blair were now only a few inches apart.

"He knows I won't let him come or have me in him until he starts telling me certain things," Blair smiled. "Your turn."

"Fuck it is. Continue, or we end this game," Meyers demanded.

"He has to say, 'Show me who's Chief,' and once he says that I let him have me and let him come." Blair smiled over at Meyers.

"Wow, you have a lot of control over him don't you?"

"You could with Harper, too, he adores you. All you have to do is take charge." Blair smiled over at him before saying, "You're next."

"I'm not very good at that kind of stuff," Meyers said shyly.

"Okay, for instance what part of your body does he enjoy the most?"

"That one's easy. My ass."

"So don't let him have it until he says sweet things. Tell him what you want and insist on it until he agrees or he gets no ass." Blair loved being evil.

"I still don't get it. I'm not a very sexy person I don't think." Meyers was now embarrassed.

"Okay, here is an example. Tell Harper that you like to have your ass touched and kissed before it gets fucked. And then tell him you wouldn't mind having him tell you what he wants to do while he's back there." Blair rubbed Meyers arm.

"Christ, I'm hard as a rock just thinking about it," Meyers growled.

"Just hold that thought." Blair could help laughing. "Get it, hold that thought?"

"I got it, Sandburg. You're a real riot. I'm on the beach with someone that isn't my life partner and I've got a boner."

"Things could be worse," Blair stated calmly.

"How?"

"What if you couldn't get a boner?"

"Oh man, why not just jinx me? I hate you sometimes," Meyers mumbled.

"So are you going to try that tonight?"

"Yeah, I am. We'll see how it goes. If he pisses me off, can I sleep with you and Jim?"

"Sure," Blair giggled, "now it's your turn again,"

"Shit... Okay, when he's walking around the house naked? He touches himself off and on all night long. Almost like he's teasing himself until I get there. Has Jim ever done this?"

"All the time."

"No shit? I figured it was just something Harper did," Meyers was truly surprised.

"Nope. Jim does it, too. Once while he was on the phone with his dad, he must have forgotten I was even there, he started stroking himself and before long he was leaning over the counter and came all over the counter," Blair had a big smile on his face.

"Holy shit. That's a good one, Sandburg. Okay, let's see if I can think of another one of Harp that will blow your mind. Okay, I got it. Wait a minute, what did Jim do when he realized you were there?"

"He got all embarrassed, blushed and said, 'Sorry, Chief.'" Blair was laughing some more. "Now what did you think of?"

"I came home from work one say and he was fisting himself and talking. So I stood back and listened. He said, 'yeah, just like that Mey. Just like that. Do that again, baby. Make me scream' and then he came all over the sofa."

"So what was he fantasizing about?"

"I don't know. I didn't tell him I heard it. I opened the door and pretended I was just coming in." Meyers looked over at Blair for some smart ass answer.

"Do you fuck him?" Blair asked.

"Once."

"Maybe he wants you to fuck him more. Would that bother you?"

"No, I liked doing it. But he's kind of a take charge kind of guy," Meyers tried to explain.

"Tough shit. Show him that it's going to be both or none."

"So Jim let's you fuck him?"

"Hell, yes! He loves to be fucked. But so do I. So it goes both ways for us." Blair beamed.

"I think I might be burning. Wanna go inside and sit at the bar?"

"Yeah, good idea. The guys can fend for themselves." Blair picked up the cooler and his towel and they headed back up to the hotel.

Jim and Harper got out of the ocean and looked around.

"I know there were here a while ago but they must have gotten too hot and went inside." Jim lifted his surfboard up and carried it over his head.

Harper did the same thing and they walked up to the hotel.

When Jim got to the room, he was somewhat disappointed that Blair wasn't there. Jim was waiting for the knock and said, "Sandburg's not here, either."

"Where do you suppose they went?" Harper asked.

"No idea. Come on in and have a beer while we wait," Jim offered one to the tall man.

Jim laid down on the bed and said, "I'm not going to bite. If you want to lay down, there's plenty of room."

"Thanks," Harper laid down on his stomach, too, as they watched the news.

"Do you like to receive blow jobs while you're driving?" Jim asked quietly.

Harper spit his beer all the way to the television screen. "Jesus, you could have warned me."

"Well?"

"Yeah, I do. You?" Harper asked.

"Oh yeah. I just wondered if I was the only one. Do you suppose that Meyers and Sandburg would like to drive now and then and get one, too?"

"Probably. I never thought about it but I'll offer now," Harper said, smiling.

"No, it has to be a surprise or it would ruin everything. Don't you think?" Jim looked over at Harp to see if he was embarrassing him.

"Yeah, I'll surprise him next time," Harper said softly, trying to reposition his cock while lying on it.

"Do you ever wonder what they really want?" Jim asked.

"What is with you, Ellison?"

"I just want to make him happy, that's all,"

"Yeah, I wonder sometimes. I've never tongued him. Have you done that to Sandburg?"

"Yeah, I do it a lot. He loves it and so do I." Jim waited for Harper to tell him why he hadn't.

"So it doesn't freak you out to do it?"

"No, I enjoy it. Blair shaves and is always clean before we do it, so why not?"

"So I would have to ask him to shave?"

"No, just shave him yourself and he'll get the picture." Jim smiled.

"I'm not sure I could do that."

"Want me to do it for you?" Jim laughed when he saw the look on Harper's face.

"I'll think about it. I'm a little scared because I don't know what to do," Harper said, blushing.

"You want me to tell you how? I don't mean do it, but I can tell you about the routine to follow," Jim said.

"Yeah, that would work," Harper agreed easily.

"You going to take your pants off or what?"

"I thought you were just telling me?" Harper was moving farther away from Jim.

"I'm kidding, Harp. God, you're so easy," Jim proceeded to tell Harp, "Touch Meyers ass and spread his cheeks. Then keep them spread and slip your tongue in the crevice and lick until Mey goes nuts. When he can't stand it any longer, then you kiss that sweet pucker until he begs. Once the begging starts slip your tongue right in and begin fucking him. Then slip your hand up and play with his balls and I promise you that man will come."

Harper moaned and came in his pants. "Shit... If you tell Mey I did this I'm going to kick your ass."

"I would never tell him that, but they're right outside the door. You might want to go and change," Jim said, yanking Harp off the bed.

"Got it. I need to get cleaned off. I'm really sorry, Jim," Harper walked slowly into his room.

Meyers and Blair walked into the room smiling and said, "You're back?"

"No, we're not back." Jim pulled Blair into his arms and kissed him hard.

Blair could feel the nice erection waiting for him. "Where's Harper?"

"He's in their shower. We were watching television and he wanted to get clean for Mey." Jim figured they would just leave him alone after he said that.

Blair looked at the blushing man and said, "Jim, can I talk to you for a minute?"

They both walked out to the patio and Blair said, "Tell me why you're blushing."

"Chief, he wanted to learn about tongue fucking."

"So you put your tongue in Harper?" Blair whispered.

"Of course not. I just told him how to do it and he came in his pants while listening to me." Jim looked at Blair to see how much trouble he was in.

Oh fuck... Big, big, trouble.

"So you believe it's nothing that you two were sitting there and he came in his pants?"

"Chief, I was just telling him how to do it. He wants to try it with Mey and he's afraid. You know Harper, he has that control issue." Jim tried to take Blair into his arms again.

Blair walked into the room and Meyers said, "Is he mad about us going to the bar without him?"

"No, he's an inconsiderate asshole and I don't know if I ever want to look at him again." Blair sat on the bed all depressed.

Harp walked into the room and kissed Meyers. "What did I miss?"

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me? Sandburg is pissed at Jim and Jim's out on the balcony." Mey stood with his hands on his hips.

Jim came into the hotel and said, "Sorry, Harp. I seem to have gotten everyone pissed off. I'm really sorry," and he walked out of their room.

"What's he talking about, Sandburg?"

"He told me what you two were doing," Blair snarled.

"We weren't doing anything," Harp growled and walked out of the room looking for Jim.

He found Jim in the bar and sat next to him in the booth. "Hey, we could discuss more weird things and see if we could piss Sandburg off some more." Harper was laughing.

"Do you like being fucked?"

"Only had it done once. I'm not sure," Harp looked at him oddly. "Do you hate it?"

"No, I love it. But I always wonder if anyone else likes it."

"He's only tried once and he never asked again, so I figured that he didn't like it." Harper wondered where they were going to end up with this.

"Maybe he thought you didn't like it," Jim offered.

"Ya think?"

"Could be. If I was you I'd ask him to do me again and give it another try." Jim felt like he was helping in his own small way.

"Harper, it's not that I don't love ya, but sit on the other side." Jim laughed as Harper realized how close he was to Jim.

"Sorry, Ellison." He smiled at his friend and knew they would be all right.

"So like you don't feel like a easy lay being the bottom?"

"Harper, I don't know how to tell you this, but I am a fucking easy lay, so to me that's normal." Jim was laughing hard at the blush on Harper's face.

"How many inches are you?" Harper asked.

Jim spit beer through his nose and mouth and started to sputter. "Harp, there are certain things that a person shouldn't tell."

"You want to know mine?"

"Yeah," Jim asked leaning closer.

"I had Meyers measure us one night. I'm 8 1/2 inches long," Harper smiled with glee at the look on Jim's face.

"Well, it figures. I don't know how long mine is, but it's not that long," Jim said, never lifting his head from the table.

"Ellison, come here." Harper got up and made his way to the restroom.

Once there, Jim said, "What?"

"Whip it out, boy. And I'm whipping mine out and we'll see if it's about the same size." Harper unzipped and pulled his penis out of his jeans.

Jim did the same and said, "I can tell you it's not that long,"

Harp compared the two penises and said, "You're the same size as Meyers, so you're 7 inches. That's a respectable cock, Ellison."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, want to go back to drinking beer, or you just want me to hold your dick all night?" Harper laughed as Jim shoved him away and both men put their cocks in for the night.

"Well, now I at least know if I have to like give that on a test or something," Jim giggled as the beer was getting to him.

"So how big is Sandburg?"

Jim spit his beer out again. "Warn a guy, will ya? If I'm 7 than he's 8."

"Hey, Ellison, have you ever given Sandburg a hand job while sitting in the movie theater?"

"No, don't think I have. He's weird, he likes movies, I don't think he would want me playing with my toy." Jim smiled across the table and wondered what normal people did in real life.

Back in the room, Blair and Meyers were lying on the bed watching Buffy, The Vampire Slayer.

"What do you want to do tomorrow, Sandburg?"

"How about Channel Islands National Park? The islands are accessible only by boat but the park visitor's center is located on the mainland shore in Ventura. I figured we could spend an entire day there if you wanted to." Sandburg was thrilled.

"Sounds good to me and we'll get rid of the lugs all day long with surfing. Speaking of those lugs, where are they?"

"Who cares? I'm having a really good time, Mey. Thanks for asking us." Blair patted him on the back.

"Blair, have you ever thought of doing something odd with Jim?"

"You just called me Blair. What's up?"

"Well, I'm afraid I might end up calling you Sandy instead of Sandburg, so I figured Blair was better." Both men laughed.

"Yeah, sure, I think about new and weird things all the time. I'm trying to talk him into golden showers but I think it's a lost cause. I don't mean I want him to piss in my mouth. Yuck. No, I want him to piss on me in the shower." Blair blushed as he was telling Mey his secret.

"Well, my secret is I want Harper to tongue fuck me. I've hinted around numerous times but he doesn't pick it up. So I figured he's not interested."

"Try again tonight. I have a feeling you'll be surprised." Blair smiled over at his friend.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

"When Jim fucks you does he make noise?"

"Whoa. We might want to save some of this for later." Blair dumped the rest of his beer down the drain. "I need to find Jim."

"I'll go with ya," Meyers walked along side him until they got to the bar and saw the two guys arm wrestling on the table.

"They're so mature," Blair said as they walked into the room.

Jim heard Blair's heartbeat and looked up and that's all it took for Harp to get his arm down.

"I won," Harper stood up and yelled.

"You did not. I was looking at Sandburg and Meyers. Tell me that you could honestly keep your mind on arm wrestling when they walk into a room. You're both gorgeous guys." Jim leaned into Blair and almost knocked the smaller man over.

"Blair, if you don't want him tonight, I'll take him." Meyers started laughing.

When they got the men upstairs, they realized it was going to be a long fucking night. Both of the older men fell asleep right away.

Blair was lying in the bed, watching television really quietly. The door opened and Blair could see Meyers standing there.

"Harp wants to tongue fuck me and I'm freaking out."

"Come here," Blair took him into the bathroom and told him how to shave and clean himself. When Meyers walked back into his room, Blair figured that he wouldn't see him again all night long.

Jim woke up and saw Blair sleeping. The light from the television let Jim see how gorgeous his man was. He pulled Blair's sweats off and then his boxers. He got between his legs and began to suck on his cock. Blair woke up right away and was on the verge of coming that quickly, too. Jim moved up and kissed Blair until they both needed more air.

"What would you like, baby?" Jim asked.

"Everything."

"You got it, baby." Jim began playing Blair's body as if he was a violin. They tried to be quiet, but they didn't succeed. Jim was yelling, Blair was yelling and the neighbors were pounding on the wall to shut up.

Once they showered they crawled into bed. "So what was the deal with the arm wrestling at the bar?"

"I had to prove myself. His dick is bigger than mine."

"What?"

"His dick is bigger than mine. I couldn't let him think I was weak because of it."

"Jim, your dick's smaller than mine but you don't arm wrestle with me." Blair was in shock.

"But you love me, Blair."

"So does Harper, you moron," Blair smacked him upside the head as he said it.

"Oh yeah. Well, at any rate, I found out how big I am."

"Jim, I don't even want to know when or how you figured this out." Blair put his head into Jim's chest and rested his tired mind.

"Do you wanna know how big Meyers is?"

"No, go to sleep," Blair smacked Jim on the chest just to show him who was in charge.

"Night, Chief," Jim said sweetly.

"Night, Jim."

They were both just about asleep when they heard Harper scream. Jim came up off the bed with lightening speed and didn't stop until he was in their room. Blair tried to catch him but he was too slow.

Oh, there was tongue fucking going on all right, but not Meyers. He was doing it to Harper. "Sorry, guys, I thought someone was attacking you," Jim said and closed the door.

"I could have gone my whole life without seeing that," Jim whined to Blair.

"They're in love. It's supposed to be sexy."

"It's only sexy if it's you, babe. Only you," Jim pulled him in for the night.

Jim woke to an empty bed. He heard Blair shaving in the bathroom and hoped he wasn't too late for a morning fuck. He always surfed better after a good fuck. He walked into the bathroom and Blair said, "I was waiting for you. I know you like to fuck me before sporting events."

"Are you making fun of me?" he asked, laughing.

"I have plans so if you want your fucking you better do it now," Blair teased him as he pushed him into the shower.

Jim loosened him up and began to fuck him quickly and hard. There was a knock on the door and Jim said, "Not now."

"Sandburg, what time are we going?" Meyers asked.

"In about 20 minutes. Okay. Now let Jim finish fucking me and I'll be out." Blair laughed at the look on Jim's face.

"You fucking brat. I'll show you fuck. I'm going to fuck you hard. I'm going to fuck you good. I'm going to fuck you so much you won't be able to sit down again. I love fucking your ass. God, I love your ass taking my cock. It's a partnership. My cock fucks your ass and your ass takes my cock. We're perfect for each other. God, you feel so fucking good. Can you feel everything, baby? Fuck me back. Fuck me, Blair." Jim was so close but he also knew that Blair was right there. They both came at the same time and both of them yelled out their names.

Jim cleaned Blair all off inside and out. "Thank you, Baby. That was great. I'm going to surf well today."

"Thanks to you, too. I have to go now. Be careful and I'll see you tonight." Blair kissed him and went running out of the bathroom with just boxers on.

When Jim came out Meyers and Sandburg were gone. Harper was sitting on their bed, watching tv. "Having fun, Harp?"

"No. I can't get my damn suit on. It takes two and Meyers is gone."

"Well, we'll help each other because I can't get mine on alone, either," Jim said as he got his suit out of the closet.

They helped each other get ready and made their way down to the beach with everything they needed. This time they even took towels for afterwards. "Let's take a bag with swim trunks on if we want to stay down there and catch some rays," Jim suggested.

"Okay, I'll get mine."

They had towels, a bag, sunscreen and their boards and wax for surfing.

While they were surfing they didn't even see each other, but once they were tired, Jim found Harp and asked him if he wanted to go to where their towels were.

They walked by a man who was standing with two other guys and he just started taking his wet suit off on the beach. No one seemed to even notice.

"I guess we don't have to go change. We can do it right here," Harper said as he got out of the darn thing.

Jim followed suit and put his trunks on. He then laid down on the towel and absorbed some rays.

Jim could hear two women talking and what they were discussing was distressing to him. Harper knew about his senses, so it wasn't like he had to hide them.

"Harper, there are two women down there discussing how many times they've had to fake orgasm's. Now they're discussing how many times they just did it because the husband wanted to."

"I say you listen to someone that's talking about something good."

"Do you think Meyers and Sandburg ever just do it because?"

"I hope not. What do you think?" Harper was worried now.

"Well, I agree. I hope not. But I'm going to try and notice more. Maybe I push myself on him sometimes." Jim looked sad and guilty at the same time.

"Nah, he doesn't strike me as the type that would let you push him around at all."

"Yeah?" Jim looked hopeful.

"Duh..." Harper said, smiling.

"Oh shit... Now they're discussing how fucking worthless their husbands are about planning a family."

"Jim, I think we're safe on that one."

"Hasn't Meyers ever asked you if the two of you could have a child?"

"Yeah, but you know I never got pregnant."

"I'm serious," Jim snarled.

"So am I. We tried and tried and tried. Nothing worked. I think I'm barren." This time even Jim laughed.

"Adoption?" Jim asked.

"Two cops? I don't think so. We're hoping you give sperm to Conner so we can all spoil that one," Harper said, looking away.

"Harp, been with many women?"

"Yeah, a fair share. I prefer men," he answered.

"So who was your type? I bet I can guess. Tall, blond and sexy as hell." Jim laughed into the towel.

"As a matter of fact, the one woman I got serious with was only 5' 6" tall. Beautiful with brown hair and brown eyes."

"That's interesting," Jim answered.

"So who was your type?"

"I didn't have a type. I love women. I still do love to look at them but I wouldn't leave Blair for them."

"Well, that's good to hear," Harper said almost irritated.

"How about another guy? Ever look?"

"This is just between you and me?" Harper asked in a whisper.

"Yeah, just between you and me. Spill." Jim waited to hear what his friend had to say.

"I went out a couple of times with Vince Barretti in Vice. Do you know him?"

Jim laid there in shock. "You mean you dated him before Meyers?"

"No, I dated him while Meyers. I came to my senses and that was that."

"He's an asshole and I can't believe you fucked around on Meyers." Jim got up and picked his board and towel and headed to the hotel.

"I knew this talking shit wasn't for me. I'm sorry, Jim," Harper said as he tried to catch up.

"What are you saying sorry to me for? You didn't fuck me." Jim stormed into his room and Harper followed.

"I didn't fuck Vince. I felt like I needed something new," Harper was trying to explain it to Jim.

"Oh so that's much better, you let Vince fuck you? That's great," Jim pulled away from him as he was trying to talk.

"Jim, he didn't fuck me, either. I just went on two dates. He called me a cock tease and still does to this day. I wouldn't fuck anyone besides Meyers. Really! I wouldn't. And why are you getting so upset about it?"

"Because he's one of the sweetest, kindest guys I know. I can't stand the idea of you hurting him," Jim was still ranting.

"Well, I'm going to go take a nap until they get back. Talk to you later." Harper walked into his room and laid down on the bed.

Jim did the same in their room and wondered how women did this talking shit all the time. Jim was exhausted.

Meyers and Sandburg were having a blast in the boat they were assigned to. It had turned out to be a lovely day for the boat ride. They were alone for the trip back, so they decided they would talk some more.

"Guess what?" Meyers asked Blair.

"What?"

"Harper tongue fucked me for the first time last night and then he asked me to do him. Do you believe it?" Mey was beaming.

"I know I love it," Blair said smiling.

"Ever thought about being with anyone else, Blair?"

"No. Jim would be able to smell them and he'd probably do something stupid like kill him." Both men laughed, knowing that it was true.

"But do you ever look? Not act on it, but just look?"

"All right, what's going on?" Blair asked.

"I think Harp has a thing for a cop in Vice." He had his head hanging down but Blair could see his lip trembling.

"Bullshit! I'll never believe that. He adores you," Blair said.

"I saw him with him," Meyers said, quiet as a mouse.

"What? When? Who?"

Three weeks ago, at lunch one day, and it's Vince Berritti,"

"Mey, he was probably discussing a case with him. WE are cops, right?"

"Yeah, that would work, except he reached across the table and kissed Harp and Harp didn't shove him away." Meyers was getting sadder and sadder.

"Well, what did he say when you asked him about it?" Blair asked.

"I haven't told him I saw him. He's under a lot of pressure right now. I didn't want it to be worse."

"Well, you're going to talk to him about it tonight. Right?"

"I guess so. But Blair, our lovemaking was so great last night and this morning. I feel like I might be doing things right now." Meyers tried to smile.

"First of all, you discuss things if you aren't happy sexually. But you don't blame that other person. Mey, you're a great guy and he's going to be lost without you. He needs to know what he wants in his life," Blair lectured.

"Have you ever been with a woman?"

"Yes, a lot of women. Why?" Blair asked.

"Well, maybe I should try women. Harp has been with women. He loves women." Meyers was getting more depressed as they spoke.

"Harper will come around and if he doesn't, I'll kick his ass." Blair put his arm around Meyers's shoulders and held him for a while.

When they got back to the hotel, Meyers asked, "Blair, please don't say anything to Harp. Okay?"

"Okay. You got it." Blair walked to his door and put his key in.

Jim was sleeping so he just sat in a chair and watched the day go by. He was so depressed. Meyers was one of the nicest guys they knew and he gets shit on? I don't think so.

Blair walked over to the door and knocked quietly. Jim woke up when he saw Blair standing there. He could hear his lover's heartbeat going a little too fast and wondered what was going on. Harper opened the door and said, "Hey, Sandburg."

"Hey. Want to go for dinner and dancing tonight?"

"Just you and me?" Harper said laughing.

"No, you idiot, all four of us. Do you want to or not?"

"What crawled up your butt, Sandburg?" Harper looked in and said, "Ellison, you awake in there?"

"Well, I am now. You two want to take this outside?" Jim got up and walked out on the balcony. Blair just looked at him strangely and said, "I'd like you and Meyers both to go with us for dinner and dancing tonight."

"Fine. What time?" Harper knew that Jim had most likely told Sandburg about him.

"Seven. We'll come for you." Blair shut the door right on Harp's face.

Blair walked out to the balcony and said, "I know someone in here that could use some loving."

Jim had him in bed in record time. Jim hadn't been this wild in ages. "What brought this on? Not that I'm complaining, man." Blair kissed him more.

"Harp and I were talking about maybe not fulfilling our lovers sex lives as we should." Jim started kissing his way down to Blair's belly.

"Jim, I have no complaints at all. I love the way you love me."

"Good! Now let me love you more." Jim went to work making his guide go crazy with need. Blair was crying out for release in record time.

Jim stopped and said, "I want you to come with me in you. We'll come together."

"Sounds good to me. Now get busy," Blair loved to boss his big studly Sentinel.

When they finally came, they howled together and Harper said to Meyers, "Man, those two are loud, aren't they?"

"I think it's sweet," Mey told him.

Harper just looked oddly at Meyers and walked into the bathroom to get ready for dinner.

While Jim and Blair were in the shower, Blair asked Jim, "While we're at the restaurant, will you ask Meyers to dance?"

"Chief, I don't like to dance with anyone but you. You know that." Jim kissed him, hoping that would get his mind off of it. No such luck.

"Jim, how many things do I ask you to do for me? None. You always ask me to do things. I'm asking one favor. Will you do it or not?"

"Yes, you know I'll do anything for you." Jim got out and started getting dressed.

When they all arrived at the restaurant Jim could tell something was going on that he didn't know about. "Hey, Ellison, could I talk to you for a moment?"

Harper led the way outside and the two of them were talking, then it looked like they were arguing.

"What's going on with them? Please tell me you didn't tell Jim about Harp?"

"No, I didn't say a word. He's been in a mood all afternoon long. Maybe they had words after they finished surfing today." Blair thought maybe his lover was keeping some things from him.

When Harper and Jim walked back in, they sat down and neither looked happy.

"Sandburg, did Jim tell you what I said to him today?" Harper asked.

"I told you that I never said a word. Fuck you!" Jim got up and walked out of the restaurant.

"What's going on?" Blair asked.

"I told him something in confidence today and I thought he told Mey."

"Jim is one of the most trustworthy people in the world. Now go find him and apologize to him." Blair bossed Harper just as well as he did Jim.

Harper got up and went looking for his friend. He walked around the corner and saw Jim standing against a wall. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself." Jim didn't look up, just kept his eyes on the ground.

"Jim, I'm really sorry. Something's wrong with Mey and I was taking it out on you. Please don't be mad." Harper really did sound pitiful when he begged.

Jim smiled at him and said, "Grow up, Harp. Ask him what's wrong and fix it."

"Do you know why Sandburg is so pissed off at me?"

"He was with Meyers. I would guess they were talking and Meyers told him something you said?" Jim guessed.

"I guess. Well, I'll talk to Mey tonight." Harper slung his arm across Jim's shoulders and they walked back into the restaurants.

"Here they come. Put on a happy face, Sandburg. Promise me you'll be nice to him?"

"Fine." Blair just looked over and smiled at both men.

They ordered dinner and ate, talking about the surfing of the day. Then Meyers and Sandburg talked about the boat ride and the evening flew by.

After dinner they went into the bar area and Jim said, "Hey, Meyers, wanna dance?"

Meyers looked at him in surprise and answered, "Sure."

It was a slow dance and Jim held him really close and said, "So how are things going?"

"Oh shit, Sandburg told you, didn't he?" Meyers tried to pull away but Jim wouldn't let him. Which was funny because Meyers was bigger than Jim.

"Sandburg didn't tell me anything. I thought you might like to dance but now you have my attention. What's happening?"

"It's not important," Mey said sadly.

"Oh shit! You know about Vince, don't you?"

"Who told you?" Mey asked, looking even sadder.

"Harp told me. He felt terrible. If it helps, he didn't sleep with him. Never even wanted to." Jim was trying to help.

"Nah, it doesn't really help, Jim. I think I'm going to leave him. Don't make a big deal out of it. I've never made him happy. He deserves to be happy." Jim was certain that this was the saddest person on the face of the earth.

"Give it a while once we get home, okay?"

"No, I'm going to fly home tomorrow. You guys stay and have fun. Thanks for everything, Jim." Meyers got out of his arms and walked right past the table and out the door.

"Harp, if you ever want to see that man again, get your ass up and go after him. You do whatever it takes to make it work. He fucking knows about Vince." Jim shoved Harper out of the booth.

"Well, how could he know? Sandburg, you told him?"

"Does it matter? He knows and I think he's leaving," Blair said quietly.

"Sandburg, we're in California. It's not like he's going to just move out of the loft, he's in another city." Harper was getting worked up and they all knew it.

"Harper, do you love him?" Blair asked.

"Of course I love him."

"Then get over there and put a stop to it." Blair stood up and walked to the doorway. Jim was right behind him as they saw Harper just sitting in the booth.

Jim turned to go to him and Blair said, "Go on. I'll handle this."

Blair sat down across from Harper and said, "So you're going to let him go?"

"I don't know what to with him. He takes too much out of me." Harper sat there waiting for Sandburg to slug him or something.

"Harp, we've been through a lot, right?"

"Right."

"So you going to dump me as a friend?" Blair looked at the sad man in front of him and wanted to hug him but knew he couldn't. He had to be tough.

"No, you're not hard. You do most of the work."

"Jim?" Blair asked almost afraid of what he would hear.

"Jim does most of the work, too. I'm a lazy friend and lover. I'm not proud of it but I am," Harper started to get up.

"Wait... What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go take him to the airport." Harper started to walk out to the parking lot.

"I can't believe that you're going to let him go, just like that. He was right. You don't fucking love him. He knew he wasn't man enough for you. I told him he was wrong. I'm a big fucking liar." Blair started running all the way to the hotel.

Meyers had all of his stuff in the suitcase and asked Jim to take him to the airport. "You can't leave without saying goodbye to Blair."

"Jim, you know that Harp will try and talk me out of it. I just want to go home." Mey stood there looking lost.

Jim heard Harper outside the door and said, "Meyers, I don't know how to tell you this but you'll be better off without him. He doesn't deserve you. I've got a lot of friends that would love to meet you," Jim said sweetly.

"Jim, I don't want to meet anyone else. I wanted Harper. God, I'm fucked no matter what." Meyers sat on the bed holding his head in his hands.

"Mey?" Harper walked in the door and Jim walked over to their room.

"I wanted a ride to the airport and he won't drive me."

"I'll drive you. Do you have everything?" Harper grabbed his luggage and walked towards the door.

Meyers grabbed a pillow and put it over his face and was sobbing. Harper sat next to him and said, "Come here and let me hold you."

Harper shut the light off and just held Mey close to him. "Mey, I love you so much. That guy was paying attention to me and I was afraid that I was going to never have a chance with anyone else. Then I realized I didn't want a chance with anyone else. If you want to leave me, that's all right, but don't leave because you think I fucked someone or that I don't love you. I love you more than you'll ever know."

"So what's going on?" Blair asked Jim in a whisper.

"He's making love to him. Showing him how much he means to him," Jim said with a smile on his face. "Oh man, now he's asking Mey to fuck him. He wants Mey to show him who owns him."

"I love these Sentinel senses sometimes," Blair said, getting cozy with his man.

"I want you to own me," Jim said, laughing.

"I could do that," and Blair did just that.

In the morning, Jim and Blair went down for breakfast and decided to go whale watching. Harper and Meyers walked in and Harper asked, "Can we join you?"

Blair looked up and him and saw a very sad man. "Of course."

They sat down and ordered some breakfast and Jim watched them. Meyers was still very upset and Harp was trying but he just didn't know what to do. Some men were like that. Takes one to know one, Ellison.

"You guys going to watch the whales today?" Meyers asked.

"We were thinking about it. Want to go along?" Jim asked.

"I've always wanted to see them."

"Well, then this is your chance," Jim said with a smile in his voice.

When Harper got back to the table Meyers said, "Hey, Harp, want to go and watch the whales today?"

"Maybe later. It's best to catch those waves early." Jim kicked him under the table and he kept from yelling out and saw the dirty look on Ellison's face. "Oh, hell! I can surf anytime. Let's go watch whales."

"You mean it?" Meyers' face lit up.

"Yeah, I meant it." Harp leaned in for a much needed kiss.

Later on that day Harp said, "Ellison, remind me to thank you for the kick in the shins."

"Hey, you were going to fuck up what you tried to fix. Are you saying you don't really want to fix it?"

"No, I want to fix it but fuck! We never get to go surfing in Cascade."

"Grow up, Harp. He's your lover. Which is more important?" Jim walked away not waiting for an answer.

"Oh no. Looks like Jim and Harp are having words again," Meyers said looking upset all over again.

"Can I say something to you?" Blair asked, as if Meyers actually had a choice in the matter.

"Sure."

"First of all, I love you to death. Secondly, so does Jim. Now, that being said, you're too damn nice. You need to teach Harp who belongs to whom. Yell sometimes. It doesn't hurt. In fact... it helps. I love to yell at Jim whenever I can."

Meyers started to laugh and said, "I'll try. You want me to toughen up?"

"Exactly. That will do the trick. You're not a small dude. You could punch him out, if need be." Blair was laughing by this time.

"What do you say we let the boys go surfing tomorrow and you and I can check out the Open Market."

"Sounds great to me." Blair was happiest when he could people watch.

That night at dinner, Meyers said, "Harp, Sandburg and I are going to the Open Market tomorrow, so you and Jim want to go and surf?"

"Oh man, that would be great. Thanks, babe." Harper kissed him without even thinking about where they were.

"Let's get up earlier this time and get out there first thing." Jim was planning as usual.

"What time do you want to get up?"

"How about four?" Jim asked.

"Four, it is. I'll be ready by 4:30, at the latest." Harper was thrilled.

Jim and Blair were lying in bed that night and Blair said, "Want me to turn the telvision down?"

"No need. I have my hearing down almost to normal."

"Why?"

"Because it's embarrassing to know that much about your friend's sex life," Jim laughed as he pulled Blair closer.

"But wait, Jim, maybe they were doing something you could have done to me," Blair teased.

"I'll do something to you..." and he did just that.

The next morning Blair woke to an empty bed and wasn't happy about it. He hated when Jim got up before him. Once he showered and dressed he knocked on Meyers door. Meyers answered and looked happy as all get out.

"Whoa, is this Bill Meyers room? He's my friend but he hasn't been smiling like this in a long time." Blair was having a good time teasing with him.

"Ready to go, hot shot?"

"Can we eat first?" Blair almost begged.

As soon as they ate and got in the car for the drive over, Blair asked, "Okay, I'm dying to know. What happened?"

"First of all, I fucked him three times last night. I kid you not, I fucked him long and hard. And you want to know the weird part? He loved it. Honest to goodness, he loved it." Meyers was just glowing like a flashlight.

"I guess so. Three times? Oh man, I have to try that with Jim. I wonder if he would let me?"

"Don't ask, just do it," Meyers laughed at Blair's look.

"We've created a monster."

Then before he left this morning, I asked him to tongue fuck me, and he did. While he was doing that, he had to fist himself because it made him so hot. Jesus, I was so happy to have him so interested. It was wonderful." Meyers took Blair's hand and just squeezed it.

"Hey, Mey, you deserve being treated well. Just don't wait for him to do it. Take charge," Blair said sweetly.

"I do believe that Jim probably has his hands full with you." Meyers almost ran off the road when Blair smacked his arm. "Speaking of that, what did you boys do last night? Fair is fair. I told you my fun, you tell me yours."

"Well, since you asked so nicely. Jim gives the best fucking blowjobs and he gave me three last night. Then he finished that up with fucking me real sweet and gentle. I love when he does that." Blair wasn't going to tell him exactly what Jim did while he did those blowjobs. Some things were best left unsaid.

When they arrived at the market, they both got out and started looking at things as they walked. It was a huge open market and it had not only things, but food.

"Mey, look at that couple ahead of us. Who do you think is the one in charge?"

"That's easy. The woman. She's in total control, you can tell."

"I wonder if they wonder about us?" Blair said.

"Me and you?"

"No, gay men."

"Well, hell, yeah! I have women ask me all the time what turns me on and so forth. I don't tell them but still they ask," Mey picked something up and was looking it over as Blair got closer.

Whispering, "so what does turn you on?"

Meyers paid for the statue, waited for it to be boxed and then they continued on. "I would have said different things last month. But now, I have a whole new list. So what turns you on, Sandburg?"

"Jim watching me from across the room. Man, I can come in my jeans from that alone. And then, of course, all of the things that we've talked about this whole vacation." Blair stopped and bought Jim a necklace with a wolf on it.

This really strange woman walked up to Blair and Mey and asked, "Are you guys gay?"

"We're pretty fucking happy. Why do you ask?" Meyers said very sarcastically.

"No, I didn't mean happy, I meant gay as in a homosexual," the woman said.

Both Blair and Mey put up their fingers like a cross and hissed. "Damn homosexuals seep in everywhere.

"Oh good, I'm so glad you're not. It would make me uncomfortable."

"Lady, relax. We'll keep all the homo's out, okay?" Blair asked.

"Thank you, young man. And might I say you're very handsome?"

"You might. But I would have to clear it with the homo here." Blair reached over and pulled Mey down for a kiss.

"Oh gross, I knew it. You are stupid fags."

"We're not stupid." Blair and Mey said together and laughed as they walked off.

By the time the boys were done shopping they had four big bags and most of it was for their lovers. On the way home Blair asked, "So everything is forgiven with Harp?"

"Yeah, more or less. He's sorry. I'm sorry. We didn't work very hard at it and it was both of our faults," Mey said calmly.

"So you feel good about it?"

"Yeah, Blair, I do. Thanks for asking though."

When Jim and Harp were heading back to the hotel, Jim noticed that Harp was still walking oddly. "Harp, are you sure you're not hurt?"

"Hurt?"

"You were walking funny this morning and I figured you might be a little sore. But you're still walking funny and it's been seven hours."

"I'm fine, Ellison. Thanks for worrying about my ass though," Harp said with a smile.

Jim stopped him and said, "Will you let me see if you're all right?"

"Jim, it was Meyers. You know he would never hurt me."

"Then you won't mind me taking a look, right?"

"Yeah, I do mind. Jim, it's none of your business," Harper walked toward the hotel hoping that Jim would let it drop.

"You're feeling guilty so you let him fuck you over and over again, right?"

"Ellison, get a life. Leave mine alone." Harper walked into his room and slammed the door.

Sighing, Jim stripped and got in the shower. He was in the middle of shampooing his hair when Blair walked in and pulled him down for a kiss. "Hey, Chief, how was your day?"

"I had a great day and I even got to make out with Mey in the middle of the market."

Jim laughed and asked "Do tell?"

So Blair told him all about the woman and Jim roared. "Hurry up, man, I bought you presents."

"Oh goody, I get presents. Can I have one while I'm in here?" Jim asked laughing again.

"Sure, let me pick one out," Blair said seriously.

"I was talking about you, Chief."

"I know you were. Man, you're too easy," Blair slid his clothes off and joined Jim in the shower. He gave Jim one of the best blowjobs he'd ever given him. Then Jim gave him one. He rested against Blair's belly and asked, "So now can we do presents?"

They dressed and sat down on the bed and Blair was getting the bags when Meyers came rushing in.

"Jim, something's wrong with Harp. He's bleeding,"

"Shit!" Jim followed him into the room and Harp said, "It's nothing."

"Blair, go back in our room and take Meyers with you. I'll call you when I'm done." Jim didn't leave room for any questions.

They both walked out and Jim put Harp on his side and dried the blood and started using his Sentinel vision to see what type of damage he had. Jim washed his hands and said, "Hang on. I've got something that will do the trick."

Jim ran into his room and grabbed a first aid kit that he took everywhere. He got some ointment out that a doctor had given him once when Blair had been a little too enthusiastic with their lovemaking. He rushed back into the room and cleaned all of the blood off of Harp and then started slipping his fingers in with the medicine.

"It feels better all ready. Thanks, Jim."

"Next time I say what I said today, take my word for it. Okay?"

"Yeah, I got it."

"Harp, this is just because you weren't used to being a bottom. It gets easier from here on in."

"I don't know that I want to bottom again." Harper turned over and pulled the blanket over him.

"Well, it's your call. Whatever." Jim got up and walked into his room.

"He's going to be fine, Meyers. Just too many times in one night I would say." Jim gave him a little hug and pushed him into the room.

The next three days flew by. Jim and Harp surfed every chance they could and Blair and Meyers went to see every Museum and Wildlife Park there was. They were all depressed about leaving but also knew that this was the best summer vacation that anyone could have.

On the plane home, Harper had his arm around Mey. The younger man looked up and asked, "You're angry with me, aren't you?"

"No. I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with me but never you." He just pulled him closer.

"Are you ever going to let me do you again?"

"How about tonight?" Harp asked quietly.

"I think I could pencil you in for tonight," Mey was smiling like crazy.

"Wait a minute, does this mean you're never gonna let me do you?" Harp asked, trying not to laugh.

"I could pencil that in also." Mey leaned in for the kiss that Harp was on his way to giving.

A stewardess was walking by and saw them kiss. Jim watched her face and saw the repulsion. He poked Sandburg to watch and Jim said, "Stupid fags."

The stewardess smiled at Jim as if he was her friend and ally.

Harp looked over at Jim and said, "Hey! We're not stupid."

Then all four men broke out in laughter and the girl knew she was alone in this.

When they finally got home, it was bittersweet. Good to be there, but sad to leave California. As they walked up Blair said to Mey, "Now everything we talked about is just between us, right?"

"You know it. In fact, your secrets are safe with me." Mey smiled at him and Blair knew they really were.

"Thanks again for the wonderful trip," Blair said as he walked to his loft.

"Yeah, Mey, thanks a lot. It was a blast," Jim followed Blair upstairs and couldn't wait to get back to his old bed. His old body needed his old bed.

The end.

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Acknowledgments: Suse did some of the art, and Corinne did the cover. Thank you so much, Suse and Corinne. Mary did the beta and pushed me from a six page story 50 page story. Thanks, darlin'. To every one of my MME Sibs, I love you all. Krisser, thank you so much for our late night talks and the push I needed to finish it. She pushed me to 72 pages. Then that damned Lisa, took it to 103 pages. So like I said, blame them. Thank you, Lisa.