She Has My Eyes - Patt

James Ellison, President of Ellison Enterprises, was sitting at his desk, busy as always with clients, when the call that would change his life came through.

"Mr. Ellison?" Margaret asked.

"Yes, Margaret?" Jim answered.

"Your wife is on the phone and she said it's urgent."

James picked up the phone and said, "Carolyn, I'm right in the middle of a meeting with some important clients."

"Well, excuse me, but I'm in labor and I thought you might want to meet me at the hospital. Or do you want me to do this alone?"

James sighed and almost whispered, "Caro, it's way too soon for the baby. I'm sure it's false labor or something."

"Fine, I'll go alone. Don't ask to see this baby when it's born, James. In fact, this might be a good time to see a lawyer. I want a divorce. We aren't a married couple. We're two people that are sharing the same home, but could care less about each other. It's very sad, so I'll have my lawyer call yours." When the phone was hung up, Jim jumped.

Getting up, he looked at the men around his desk and said, "I'm very sorry, gentlemen, but I've got a baby to welcome into the world. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

They all patted him on the back and told him congratulations as he walked out of his office.

"Margaret, could you see that everyone gets out of there and everything is in its place?"

"Yes, sir. Good luck."

"Thanks, Margaret. Talk to you tomorrow."

"James?"

"Yes?"

"Could you call and let us know what you have? We're all very happy for you," Margaret started to walk away, not used to having James answer her most of the time anyhow.

"Of course, Margaret. I'll call as soon as he makes his entrance," Jim said as he practically ran down the stairs to the parking garage and got into his car for the trip to the hospital. All he could think about was what Carolyn said about a divorce. Lord knows they didn't love each other but they had been weak one night and she had gotten pregnant. There was no love between them but they did want a child, so they'd stayed together. James thought he probably did love her at the beginning, but that was before he got to know her. She was born for this type of life. She loved money, power and the feel of having people think she was special. James, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. He was a loner, worked too hard and had little to do with anyone or anything that didn't have to do with Ellison Enterprises.

It started to rain as he drove and Jim thought that this was about perfect. He hated this time of year. Fall reminded him of the cold, inside and out. It always made him sad. Well that would change today. Today, he'd have a reason to be happy for this time of year. Instantly his heart felt warmer and he picked up the pace.

He pulled his BMW into the parking lot at the hospital, parked, got out and locked up before making a run for the building. Once inside the door, he shook himself off like a dog would, asking a young girl where Maternity was. She showed him where he would need to go. Once on that floor, he found the nurse's station, but he didn't have to ask where Carolyn was. He could hear her screaming her lungs out.

He rushed into the labor room and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong, you asshole. You got me pregnant and now I have to handle all of the trouble and pain. You're a prick and I hate you. This is not the pain talking. I truly hate you. We're getting a divorce. You'll never see this baby if I have anything to say about it. You're a cold, heartless asshole." Then Carolyn screamed again, making James grab his ears in pain.

They hurriedly moved her into position for delivery. Jim hadn't realized it would go this quickly.

The doctor gave her something for the pain, calming her somewhat. As she got closer bearing down, she smiled at Jim and said, "I'm sorry, Jimmy. I didn't mean what I said."

James Ellison was now Jimmy, husband and soon to be father, and decided that he could do this. He vowed to make her life better and the baby's, too. Smiling at her, he bent over and kissed her softly and said, "I love you, Caro."

She got big tears in her eyes as she pushed the last time and the baby was out.

Everyone in the room knew right away that something was wrong with the Ellison baby girl. She cried and didn't stop. Nothing helped her. They finally took her into another room and Jim overheard a specialist being called in.

"What's wrong with our child?" Carolyn asked, almost afraid of the answer.

The delivering doctor walked up to them and said, "We're going to call in some specialists. I'm not making any guesses, but I've seen some Autistic cases that are somewhat similar."

Jim frowned as he looked over at Carolyn and heard her say, "I need to talk to my husband in private."

"As soon as we finish here, we'll leave you two in private," The doctor said as he got the afterbirth out and started the cleaning up process. Once this was all done, they all walked out and left the couple alone in their sadness.

Once she was sure they were gone for good, she continued, "We need to give her up for adoption."

"Caro, what are you talking about?" Jim asked.

"Jimmy, we can't have that kind of a child. You might have to choose between me or the baby."

"But Caro, we don't even know if there's anything wrong."

"We'll see what the specialist says but I need your word that we'll give this child up for adoption."

"Caro, I don't know about this... I might need some time to think about it," Jim said sadly.

"Jimmy, think all you want, but the end result will be the same. This is not the type of child you and I need to have in our life. Could you please call the doctor back in now?"

Jim called the doctor back into the room with such a look of sadness; the doctor knew immediately what was going to happen.

"Mrs. Ellison, I'm sorry that you have to go through this. But I really think we should wait until we hear from the doctor before we make any rash decisions."

"Don't talk to me about rash," Carolyn almost spat out, "Doctor, what are the chances of her being autistic?"

"Mrs. Ellison, let's wait and see what the specialist say," Doctor Franklin said calmly.

"And Jimmy, I kid you not, if it's true, we're not keeping her," Carolyn said angrily.

Jim just nodded sadly as he realized that he would probably have to give up a part of himself, just to keep his wife happy. He followed the doctor as they transferred Carolyn from one room to the next. Once they arrived, she was asleep within moments.

The doctor walked in, "Mr. Ellison, you might like to see your little girl. She's in the nursery. Feel free to go and hold her."

Jim smiled and walked quietly out of the room and made his way down to the nursery. He could hear his little baby girl crying her lungs out. It was heartbreaking. Why is this happening? Why couldn't he have one thing in his life that wasn't screwed up?

When he got to the glass, one of the nurses from the delivery room saw him looking at his little girl. She walked out of the room and turned to Jim, "Mr. Ellison, follow me."

Jim followed her not knowing where he was going and he didn't care. He wanted to hold that baby. He wanted to feel her against his heart. He wanted to kiss her little cheek.

"Okay, Mr. Ellison, you need to scrub up right here. Follow these directions on this sign and then put the gown on and follow me."

Jim proceeded to do as she ordered and then put the gown on and followed her into the nursery. The crying was almost unbearable for him. Not because it broke his heart, it did, but it was the sound. It hurt his ears like they had never hurt before.

"Sit down here, Mr. Ellison and I'll bring the baby to you," the nurse said quietly, seeing that Jim was acting as if the crying was hurting his head.

"Call me Jim," he watched her go and get his little girl.

"Here you go, Jim. Do you have a name chosen yet?"

"No, we hadn't really discussed one."

He held his little girl for the first time and looked into her face and saw pain. That's the first thing he noticed. "She acts like she's in pain. Has anyone else noticed that?"

"Yes, this is very common with Autism."

"Oh..."

He continued to look at his baby and he said softly, "Don't cry so much. Things will get better. Daddy's here."

And the oddest thing happened. The baby stopped crying. She seemed to be watching him and quieted down right away. Jim smiled down at her and saw a gorgeous child. She was so pretty. It was hard to tell when she was crying, but now he could see how precious she was. He rubbed his large thumb across her cheek and smiled as the baby jumped, but didn't cry again. Then he tried different things, like cutting down some of the light and could see a change come over her then, too. Well, Jim, you have yourself a child that's just like you. Whatever that may be.

Jim knew he'd have to tell the doctors that he had some of the same problems that this child seemed to be having. But the doctors would tell him he might need to check into a mental hospital and have some tests. Maybe he wouldn't tell them. Maybe he'll just be sure that she knows what to do for these things. Jim vowed to make her life bearable.

The nurses all noticed the change in the child and wondered what miracle Mr. Ellison had worked. But while they watched him, all they saw was a proud daddy, kissing and hugging his baby ever so gently. The love that was flowing from Jim Ellison surprised them all, including Jim Ellison himself.

Jim continued rocking and holding his child. He could tell he was going to love being a father. She was so damn easy to love. All Carolyn would have to do is hold her once and see that.

Once she was asleep, he set her back in her crib, had the lights around her dimmed and they had cut off most sound so she would not be disturbed. Jim kissed his finger and then touched it to her little cheek. She was the sweetest damn baby he had ever seen in his life. She was perfect. Okay, maybe not perfect, but close.

When he opened the door to Carolyn's room he walked in and found a very angry wife. "Where have you been, Jimmy? I've been waiting for you to talk to the doctor with me."

"Sorry, I was down in the nursery holding our baby girl."

"Jimmy, I'm not certain I want to keep her," Carolyn twisted the cover on her bed as she eyed Jim and his reaction to her statement.

"Carolyn, I really want you to hold her and just be with her first. You don't know how precious she is," Jim sat on the edge of Caro's bed and smiled. "You're going to love her."

"Well, for your sake, Jimmy, I hope you're right because if I don't agree with you, I'm going to call my lawyer and have papers drawn up so that we don't have to deal with it."

"Carolyn, she's our daughter. What do you mean, so we don't have to deal with it? You mean, deal with her?" Jim was getting angrier by the moment and tried to understand, but failed miserably.

"See, Jimmy. This is why you and I don't talk. I talk, you yell. It's always been this way. It's got to be your way or no way. You're an asshole sometimes," Carolyn was on the verge of tears and knew she didn't want to lose that amount of control over herself. Get a hold of yourself, woman. "Carolyn, she's much better when I hold her. I don't want her to go to some strangers who won't love her," Jim turned and walked to the window looking at the clouds rolling in.

"We might not keep her, Jimmy. She might be damaged. In that case, I don't want her. And neither will you after one night of listening to her scream and cry all night long."

"Carolyn, we'll have the papers drawn up, but I'm keeping her. She'll move into my Dad's home with me for now. I'm not giving her up."

"You're dad doesn't want her in his life, either. So just give it up, Jimmy."

Jim heard the door open and his father said, "Jimmy, your baby and you are welcome in my home at any time."

Carolyn glared at William and said, "And what will you all do when this child needs more than you can give her? Neither of you are being sensible."

"Carolyn, you're not even giving her a chance at life with us. Please hold her and talk to her. Just love her for a few moments and then decide." Jim walked down to the nursery and got his little girl and pushed the bassinet back to the room. Once there, he pushed the door open and saw the looks Carolyn was giving William. Jim just sighed as he lifted baby girl Ellison and put her into Carolyn's arms. As soon as Jim let go of her, she started squalling. Carolyn really did try. All of five minutes and then she handed the baby to William, and William saw a darling little baby girl that stopped crying immediately when he held her.

"Oh for gods sake, she doesn't like her own mother?" Carolyn asked with dismay written all over her.

"Caro, you have to try more than five minutes. This takes time." Jim looked over at the quiet baby lying in his father’s arms and smiled.

"Jimmy, be sensible, we need to give her up for adoption." Carolyn looked to Jimmy for agreement.

"Fuck sensible, Carolyn." William looked at his son. "You can move into my house with me and Sally. We have lots of room."

"Yeah, Dad, I'd like that a lot. She's precious, isn't she?"

"Jimmy, I can't believe you're going to choose that screaming baby over your wife. I never want to see you again, do you understand?"

"Yes, Caro. I'm not stupid." Jim walked with his dad down to the nursery, pushing the bassinet. William looked over at his son and saw the sadness on his face and said, "Jimmy, she doesn't love her. It's better this way. We'll love her all she needs." William put his arm around Jim's shoulder as they continued on.

Twice on the way there, Jim thanked his father for coming to his rescue.

"I'll call the lawyer this afternoon and get those papers drawn up so we can take baby girl Ellison home."

"Thanks a lot, Dad," Jim looked over his father's shoulder watching his daughter and beaming with pride.

The nurses came into the nursery and started to lift her, and she began to cry. William looked up at Jim and said, "She not only has your eyes, but she's like you."

"We'll take it from here, Kate, thanks." Jim sat down and rocked his little girl and looked to his dad and said, "But no one will know that, Dad."

"Not to worry, Jimmy." William couldn't believe how sweet this baby was.

"What do you suppose we should name her?" Jim wondered aloud.

"Have any favorite names? I tend to go for names that have to do with the parents. You were born on Savannah Street. We thought you were going to be a girl at first, so I had chosen the name Savannah Rose for you. Your Mother was not that wild about it but we didn't have to worry about that, now did we?"

"Savannah Rose it shall be, Dad." As Jim smiled up at his Father; William leaned over and kissed his son on the forehead and then his baby granddaughter.

"You have a name, little one." William beamed with pride.

"Savannah Rose Ellison." Jim smiled as he turned to his dad, "it's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"Do you hear that, Savannah Rose? Your daddy liked my choice of a name." William picked up the sleeping child from Jim and lay her in the bassinet.

"Thank you again, Dad." Jim walked his dad to the elevator and left him so he could get back to his daughter.

When Jim got back, Doctor Franklin wanted to talk to him again. "Mr. Ellison, I've got a list of places to take your little girl for check-ups as soon as she's released. I'm sorry your wife doesn't want to deal with autism problems."

"Well, it's all part of life, isn't it? She's very precious. My daughter, I mean. Thank you for your help."

When Jim left the hospital two days later with Savannah and William, he had no idea how hard life was going to be. First of all, he had to leave his baby girl a lot while he saw the lawyers. Carolyn was being her usual bitchy self, but Jim was tired and cranky and seemed to lose his temper more often these days. Do you think you're a good choice for a Father? Jim was still thinking about this when his lawyer came walking down the hall and said, "Jim, what are you still doing here?"

"Have you ever wondered if you had done something really stupid?"

"Well of course. I think we all have. Are you reconsidering keeping Savannah?"

"No, not that. I mean about being so mean to Carolyn. Maybe we should set up visitation rights and let her get used to her little by little. That might help, don't you think?" Jim looked pleadingly at Wilson Cade.

"Jim, we're not going to do that because she doesn't want her. So why involve her in Savannah's life? Just keep things the way they are, all right? I'm not real wild about you staying married to her at all. Why would you want to do that for that woman is beyond me." Cade walked down the hallway knowing that Jim Ellison was a man that was mixed up and needed some guidance. He sure hoped that the nice young father was going to get it before too long. He made a note in his notebook to call William Ellison and tell him about this. But while he was doing it, he realized he should just call him instead. He took out his cell and dialed William and waited to talk to him.

Ellison.

"William, this is Wilson Cade. I needed to speak to you about your son, James," Cade said walking towards his car.

What did she do this time?

Cade could hear the tone of disgust in William's voice and answered quickly. "Nothing. She did nothing. Jim wanted to give her visitation rights and I told him we weren't going to do it. He needs some help, William. He needs some type of therapy. He really believes that Carolyn is going to come back some day and they'll all be one big happy family. He won't divorce her because of this idea in his mind."

Okay, Wilson, I'll take care of it when he gets here. I'll see to it that he takes more time for himself and sees someone about all of this. I'll also talk to him about divorcing that money hungry bitch, William talked a while longer with his friend and attorney and then hung up the phone. How could Jim be so foolish? Why would he want someone that doesn't want that precious little girl?

As soon as Jim walked into the house, he knew something was wrong. "Dad, what's wrong? Is something wrong with Savannah?" Jim headed for the stairway quickly, but William caught his arm and stopped him.

"Jimmy, calm down. There's nothing wrong with Savannah. She's been an angel the whole time you were gone. I called a therapist for you today and I want you to see him." William waited for the bomb to hit.

Instead, Jim hung his head and said, "I'm not doing a very good job am I Dad?"

"Jimmy, you're doing a fantastic job. But you need more time for just you. So we're going to call in some of the specialists and you're going to see the therapist and we'll see how things go." William smiled at his son, hoping he made him feel more relaxed.

"Dad, I feel like I'm letting you down by not working right now. I feel like I'm letting Savannah down because I haven't got her Mother here. Why do I always screw things up?" Jim asked these questions, really wanting an answer.

"Well, Jimmy, you don't always screw things up. I screwed up a lot of things while you were growing up and I'm sorry for them all. I'll never be able to make that up to you." Jim tried to interrupt William, but William wasn't letting him. "No, Jim I'm right. Let me finish. I'm sorry that I did things the way I did. I have no excuses, but I do have plenty of apologies. That will have to do for now. But you on the other hand, saw this little girl and knew she was going to be in your life. This is the man I raised, or at least helped raise. I'm very proud of you." William then pulled Jim into his arms and just held him for quite some time. Finally he let go when Jim seemed uncomfortable.

"So you really think I can do this all alone?" Jim wondered aloud.

"Yes, Jimmy I do. I have something else to discuss with you and I hope you won't be angry at me." William again wondered what had happened to the hot tempered son that used to be taking up this gentle man's body.

"Go ahead dad... What's on your mind?" Jim asked outright.

"I want you to go tomorrow and file for divorce." William stood firm on his tone and look so Jim would not feel like he could get away from this.

"Dad, she said she didn't want to get divorced. I really think she might come around." Jim sat down and just looked at his day with sadness in his eyes that William had never noticed before.

"Jim, she's used to having money. That's what she wants. She doesn't want the baby, you even told me that much. But she does want and need that money. Now you have to promise me that you'll go and file tomorrow. Promise?"

"I know she doesn't love me. I know she doesn't love or want Savannah. I was only hoping that things would change. I'm sorry. I'll go and file tomorrow." Jim talked with such a defeated tone in his voice that William wanted to smack him. But knew that wouldn't help anything.

"Thank you, Jimmy, that will make us all very happy. You won't be sorry, I promise." William hugged the young man once again and pulled away and said, "Now go and take a nap," William pushed his son up the stairs so he could take that short nap.

When Jim got upstairs he checked on his little girl and found her sleeping soundly. But she opened up her eyes for a moment when she heard Jim standing there. She can already sense that I'm here.

She was the most precious child and he just couldn't figure out how Caro could possibly leave her.

***

The divorce hearing went fairly well considering Carolyn was asking for half of Jim's money. Wilson Cade didn't have any problem's bringing up all of the things about her deserting her little girl and how much money Jim would need to raise this little girl. Carolyn fought a good battle but the judge sided with Jim and Savannah. She ended up with a lump sum settlement that one third of would go to her lawyers. All rights of being Savannah's Mother stopped that day.

Four months later, all of the paperwork came through and Savannah was legally Jim's and Jim's alone. He had full custody and the baby was doing very well. As long as they kept the lights low, the noise down and only certain people around, she didn't cry at all. In fact, she rarely cried. Jim worried about that sometimes, but Doctor Franklin seemed to think that was normal.

Jim took a longer leave from his dad's company, and William was in full agreement about it. Sometimes, when William would make Jim get out and get some air, Jim would look for places to live. He knew that he couldn't stay with his dad forever. In fact, his dad looked really tired these days. It was time for a move. Finally, after a long week of searching, he found a place he felt comfortable in. He needed something quiet, something secluded for his darling child. He vowed to make her life better than his had been.

Jim didn't blame his father; he blamed the times. William hadn't known what to do, or whom to turn to. He was totally alone with his freakish son. Savannah was never going to be a freak in any way.

The house was on a quiet street, very secluded, large and quiet. He knew that with some work, they could make it a real home. Now you just have to tell your father.

When Jim walked through the door, William could see he had something on his mind. "Sit down and just tell me what's wrong." William began to make Jim some coffee before he joined him at the table.

"Dad, I don't want you to think I don't appreciate everything you do, but I found a house for me and Savannah to move into." Jim sipped his coffee slowly as he tried to gauge his Father's reaction. What he saw was a look of relief.

"Well, I'm going to miss her son but I'm glad. I don't want her to have too many parents, and that's what happens when you grow up in a Grandparent's home," William said patting his son's hand gently. "Don't worry so much, Jimmy."

"Thank you, Dad. It's a great house. Would you like to see it now?"

"Yes, I would. How about we let Savannah get her first taste of an outing and see her new home in one fell swoop?" William began gathering up her things for the trip.

"Dad, I'm not sure that's a good idea." Jim became nervous at the thought of taking her outside of his father's home.

"Jimmy, you can't keep her indoors her whole life. She has to be able to grow and learn. She'll never do it with you protecting her from everything and everyone. Life isn't like that, young man, and you know it."

As they drove over there, Jim noticed that Savannah did seem calm for the drive. It might have something to do with the darkened windows and the car being almost soundproof. William had spared no expense to make his grandchild's life bearable.

William smiled when they arrived. "Jimmy, this is just the type of place you need for your little Savannah to grow up. I love it, son."

"Thanks, Dad. That means a lot to me. Now on with the tour," Jim grabbed Savannah from the back seat and they all went to see their new home.

Two weeks later, they were all moved in and Savannah wouldn't stop crying. Every time Jim left her side she cried long and hard. Finally giving in, Jim called his dad and asked for advice.

"Jimmy, I never wanted to say much to you about it, but I think it's time to call in that specialist that Doctor Franklin told us about. Are you sleeping, Jimmy?"

"No, Dad, I'm not sleeping because Savannah won't sleep in her room and I'm trying to teach her that she has to," Jim said warily.

"Well, that's fine and dandy if you're sleeping, but since you're not, it's not going to work well. I'll be over in awhile to let you get some sleep. But in the meantime, I want you to call that specialist."

"Okay, Dad, I'll call now." And he was true to his word. As soon as he had hung up the telephone, he started looking for the information he needed. Finding it, he called the number and heard, "Dr. Blair Sandburg's office, can you hold?"

Why do they ask, they don't even wait for you to answer? Jim calmly waited for the girl to come back on and make an appointment for him.

"Can I help you?" came a voice suddenly, shaking Jim out of a trance.

"I was given Dr. Sandburg's name at the hospital when my little girl was born. They think she's autistic and I need his help." Jim waited to find out how long it would be to see him.

"My name is Addison Page and I'm Dr. Sandburg's Assistant. When can you bring her in?" the friendly voice asked.

"I'm sorry, this was a mistake. She doesn't do well outside of the house. I'll just have to figure things out myself. I'm sorry I bothered you," Jim tried to hang up but before he could, Addison shouted, "Don't you dare hang up on me. Now, what is your name and number and I'll have Dr. Sandburg give you a call as soon as he has a moment?"

"My name's Jim Ellison and my daughter's name is Savannah Rose Ellison." Jim gave her his address, phone number and his insurance information before hanging up.

"Savannah, we might have found a doctor, sweetie. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to go outside and take walks like other babies do?" Savannah smiled up at her daddy and Jim just melted. "I love you, little one."

When the phone rang, it scared Savannah and she jumped and began screaming. Jim picked her and the phone up at the same time and said, "Ellison."

"Mr. Ellison, this is Dr. Blair Sandburg, is that Savannah I hear in the background?"

"Yes, that would be Savannah letting me know she hates the telephone." Jim smiled at the voice he was listening to and had no idea why. He seemed calm just hearing from this man. "Could you hold on please? My dad's here and then we can talk?"

"Certainly, take your time. I'll be right here waiting when you come back on." Blair got up and got himself a cup of coffee while waiting for Mr. Ellison to get his little girl settled.

Jim let his dad in and gladly gave the crying baby over to him so he could resume his talk with Doctor Sandburg.

Blair Sandburg was singing a tune along with the radio when the voice at the other end laughed softly. "Sorry, Mr. Ellison, I bet you were hoping to get away from those doctors that sing for their patients."

"Actually, you have a nice voice, so it didn't bother me at all. And I think Savannah would like the sound of your voice, too. She's very susceptible to sounds and voices." Jim walked away from his father and his daughter and added, "and I'm not certain how well she'll do with going to your office."

"So I'll come there and we'll do an evaluation. How does that sound?"

"I think that sounds great," Jim sighed with relief and gave directions to Dr. Sandburg.

"I could be there in about two hours, is that good for you?" Dr. Sandburg asked hoping that he hadn't scared Mr. Ellison.

"We'll be waiting for you, Dr. Sandburg." Jim hung the phone up with the first smile on his face in two weeks.

"Well, I take it you liked this Doctor Sandburg?" William asked as he lay Savannah down and waited to hear all about the call.

"He seemed really nice and was willing to come here to do an evaluation. That impressed me." Jim checked on Savannah before he got himself a bottle of water and sat down to talk with his dad.

"Would you like me to stay and give you some moral support?" The smile that was on William's face was enough to make Jim laugh.

"Dad, you're so whipped when it comes to that baby. I never would have figured you for a baby person." Jim leaned forward and asked, "what if Doctor Sandburg thinks she's worse than we think she is?"

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Jimmy. Don't worry so much and go take a nap while I wait for Doctor Sandburg."

"Yes, sir..." Jim smiled and saluted as he walked up to his bedroom and fell to sleep so quickly he never would have imagined it possible.

As William was sitting in the living room waiting he saw a car drive up and got up so the doctor knocking wouldn't wake Jimmy. The poor kid was exhausted. When Blair got to the door, William opened it up and Blair Sandburg asked, "Jim Ellison?"

"No, that would be my son, I'm William Ellison." William stepped back and motioned the young man in. "I talked him into sleeping until you got here. He hasn't slept in a long time. He's very tired."

"I'm Doctor Blair Sandburg and it's really nice to meet you, Mr. Ellison."

"Good to meet you also, would you like to see Savannah now?" William led Doctor Sandburg into the nursery and Blair looked around and saw a very neat, but quiet looking room. Not much light or color, which was about right with some autistic cases. As he looked over the crib he saw one of the prettiest little baby girls he'd ever seen. Her eyes were bright and cheerful looking until she noticed Grampa had someone else with him. Doctor Sandburg was shocked at how loud this little girl could scream. But he was even more surprised by the large man rushing into the room, hair flying all over the place and looking totally lost.

"What's wrong? Dad? Who is this?" Jim looked from Savannah to his Father to Doctor Sandburg and back again.

"Jimmy, this is Doctor Blair Sandburg. He's come to meet Savannah. She just needs to hear his voice and she'll be fine. Come on, Doctor Sandburg, she goes by sound mostly, so talk to her." William led Blair over to the crying child and Blair did as he was told.

"Savannah, my name is Blair. Your daddy and your Grampa want you to get better so they called me to see if I could help." Blair noticed something strange. Not only had Savannah stopped crying, but she was watching him like a hawk. He leaned in closer and said, "How old are you, little one?"

Jim walked closer to this man that had an effect over his daughter and said, "She's six months old."

"And she's not talking yet?" Blair asked seriously, but had a laugh at the edge of his voice that Jim was able to hear.

"We expect her to speak in a month or two." Jim answered him just as quickly.

"She's a beautiful child, now can we take her out of the crib, so I can start the evaluation? I want you to know that usually we don't start this until they're at least one year old. Why don't you go ahead and run upstairs and put some clothes on." Blair smiled as Jim looked down and realized he was only in his boxers.

"Shit, I'll be right back. I'm so sorry. Dad, please tell him I'm not normally like this," Jim fled the room as quickly as he could.

*****

Blair smiled after the retreating figure of one of the most gorgeous men he'd ever seen before. You're here to see his little girl, Sandburg.

"He's right, Doctor Sandburg. He isn't normally like this. They just moved into the house a few weeks ago and Jim's not slept an entire night since," William explained as he lifted his Granddaughter out of her crib. She smiled at Blair and squirmed in her Grandfather's arms. "I think she's trying to tell me she wants to be held by you." William handed the baby over to an obviously pleased Doctor Sandburg.

"Why hello, Miss Ellison. How are you today?" Blair talked soothingly to Savannah for the next ten minutes until Jim walked into the room.

"So, Doctor, do you have a clue as to how bad this could be?" Jim asked point blank.

"Well Mr. Ellison, I've only been here for ten minutes, but I can tell you one thing, she's not Autistic. Let me tell you just a couple of things about Autism. Many autistic infants are different from birth. Two common characteristics they may exhibit include arching their back away from their caregiver to avoid physical contact and failing to anticipate being picked up. As an example, becoming limp when you would lift her. As infants, they are often described as either passive or overly agitated babies. Does she make eye contact with the two of you? Because she did with me," Blair asked and then waited for their answers.

"Yes, she makes eye contact with us," William answered quickly. Jim shifted from one leg to the other leaning against the wall as he watched Doctor Sandburg and his Father interact.

"Okay, next we'll do another test. Jim, call to her from over there and we'll see what her reaction to that is," Blair said as he got ready to try another test on the baby.

"Savannah, look over here at Daddy." Jim looked to see if she was going to take her eyes off of Doctor Sandburg. It took all of two seconds and she turned to Jim and smiled and started flapping her arms making Blair almost lose hold of the little one.

"Well I have my answer on that one," Doctor Sandburg said, smiling. "Savannah, do you know where your daddy is?" Blair was taking a giant step here, but he was almost positive this little girl knew a lot more than they were letting on.

Savannah just as quickly found her daddy again and cooed at him with her big cheerful toothless laugh. "I think there's been a mistake with this little girl. She has nothing wrong that I can see. She follows things with her eyes. She makes noises when spoken to. She reacts to touch, in a good way and I can't seem to see why in the world she would ever be even considered Autistic." Blair said as he watched Jim Ellison and the older Mr. Ellison.

William walked over and opened the drapes, letting the beautiful sunlight come in, and brought loud screams from Savannah. Blair looked down at the baby in his arms and wondered what had just happened. He rubbed her back and softly said, "Savannah, it's all right. We'll shut the drapes. Don't worry."

William shut the drapes and then looked at his son as Jim went over and turned on the radio. It was really low.

Savannah quieted and seemed to be fine again, once the drapes were closed. Blair knew he was going to have to do some research on this.

Jim then started turning up the sound on the radio little by little. Blair sat down in the rocking chair and started rocking her, because he could feel her tensing as the sound went up. Each notch seemed to make her more tense. Finally, Jim turned it up to the point where he, his Father and Blair Sandburg could hear what was on it and Savannah started screaming her head off. Quickly, Jim turned it down and she started to quiet right away.

"I have to tell you this is the oddest thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm going to have to do some studies on this. In my research I've only seen this happen in adults. Never a baby," Doctor Sandburg got up and set Savannah in Jim's arms. "Mr. Ellison, can she crawl yet?"

"Yes, she crawls all over the place. Believe me, she keeps me hopping." Jim slowly laid his sleeping daughter in bed and then walked out of the room. William looked over at Doctor Sandburg and said, "He was hoping for something to go on. Something to give him hope. Now he thinks she's like he is." William exited the room quickly when he realized what he had just said.

"Wait a minute, Mr. Ellison. You mean to tell me that your son has the same types of problems." Blair paced the floor pushing his hands through his long curls getting Jim's attention at once.

"I'm not some kind of freak." Jim walked into the kitchen and got them all a glass of tea and brought them out for the talk he knew was coming.

As he handed the glass of tea to Doctor Sandburg, Blair said, "It sometimes takes years after the first symptoms are noticed for autism to be diagnosed. So we don't want to make any rash judgments. She seemed healthy, happy and sound to me. But I did see what you were talking about when you said sounds and light effect her. We need to discuss this, because I have a feeling there is something more here then I see."

"Doctor Sandburg," Jim began only to be stopped by Blair, "Call me Blair and I'll call you Jim. All right?"

"Fine. Blair, there is nothing you're missing. There is nothing going on that you don't know about. So, I just wasted your time." Jim looked over to his dad for some support.

"Jimmy, he seems like a nice doctor. Why don't you see if he understands any of this." William said getting up to leave the two men alone.

Once William was out of the room Jim turned to Blair and said, "I don't want to talk about anything. My dad thinks that my life will be better if I talk to you. I promise you, it won't. It will be a fucking nightmare. So I beg of you, please leave us alone."

Blair stared at this stoic man, and wondered what he was hiding. There was something odd about the little girl, but nothing to be too alarmed about. He was certain she would be just fine. No, he was worried about Jim Ellison. He's the one that looked on the edge all the time. Blair continued to think about what William Ellison had said and realized, 'What if Jim had the same problems? What if his senses were off the scale and couldn't control them?' this is something he would have to look into.

"It's been really nice of you to come to the house, but I won't need your services again," Jim said getting up to show Blair to the door.

Out of instinct more than anything else, Blair put two fingers in his mouth and gave a huge wolf whistle and Jim fell to his knees holding his ears. Rocking back and forth. Blair then heard Savannah crying her little heart out and William came in and said, "What did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything other than whistle, sir. I'm sorry. I needed to see if he had the same problems as Savannah." Blair walked as he talked and helped Jim up off the floor. Settling him on a chair, he turned to William again. "Do you want to fill me in on this?"

"Yes, all of his senses are heightened, he's been labeled all of his life. Please don't do that again. I don't know if he could take it again," William rubbed his son's back as he talked to Blair.

"First of all, I won't say a word to anyone about this but Jim you have to talk to me about it. We need to fix it for Savannah. I have a feeling I know what's wrong with both of you. But not sure how we'll go about fixing it for her yet." Blair joined William in rubbing Jim's back.

Jim pulled away from both of them and said, "I have to get my baby."

Blair looked at William and asked, "What does he mean?"

"He can hear when she is awake before she cries. He can hear her heartbeat from in here," William almost beamed as he told the Doctor all this. Yes, his son was odd, but he was handling things and he was a very brave man to want to do it with his little girl.

"Dad, why did you tell him that? You know they'll take her away from me now. As soon as Carolyn hears this she'll jump on the bandwagon and tell them how dysfunctional I was for all of those years." Up close, both William and Blair could now see the huge tears in Jim's eyes.

"First of all, I'm not telling anyone anything Jim. Settle down, all right? Now, I need to talk to you, but only if you're not going to be so damn defensive." Blair smiled as he sat back down, hoping to see the other two men do the same.

They did. Jim rubbed a large hand across his weary face and said, "I'm so fucking tired, Blair."

"Then you'll sleep tonight. I'll stay and keep an eye on Savannah and you can take over in the morning. You'll feel like a different person." Blair beamed as he talked to Jim.

"I can't expect you to stay here, that's ridiculous. Dad, could you stay tonight?"

"No, I really want to stay. I need to observe some more with her and yourself and then we can discuss more tomorrow," Blair didn't ask this time, he stated firmly.

"Well I think it's a great idea. Why don't I stay too, so you can watch both of them, and if you need some sleep I'll be here to take over?" William asked and got a dirty look from his son.

"Sir, I'd rather it just be the three of us, that way Jim and Savannah won't have so much to listen to or focus on. If that's all right with you, Jim." Blair smiled over at him and let him know he was staying.

William stood up and said, "Well, I'm going to be on my way. Nice meeting you, Doctor Sandburg. I'm sure we'll be seeing you a lot."

Jim glared at his dad for about the fourth time that day. What was up with his father? It was almost like he was trying to get them together or something. You wish, Ellison. You wish you had someone like that in your life. No, you'll be alone forever.

As soon as William was out of the house, Jim turned on Blair. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? This is my home. This is my child. You don't come in here and tell me what to do," Jim raved but was losing steam because of being tired.

"You want me to leave Ellison? Fine..." Blair grabbed all of his belongings he had brought along and started for the door.

"I'm sorry. I'm so tired and I'm afraid that she'll be like this all of her life," Jim said as he started to leave the room.

Blair caught up with him and said, "Why not lie down for a while Jim? I'll be here. Nothing will happen. You can rest for one night, that won't hurt, will it?"

"You can talk to me while I get ready for bed," Jim stretched and yawned as he started for his room and bathroom.

Blair didn't really want to invade on his personal privacy, but after all he had seen the man in his underwear already. What could this hurt? Right? Sandburg, get yourself on the sofa and lie down. Now...

"Jim, I'm going to sleep on that bed that's in Savannah's room if that's all right with you," Blair called out instead of going into the bathroom. Jim walked out of the bathroom, again in only his boxers and said, "Sure Chief, you're in charge."

"Chief? It went from 'don't boss me around' to 'Chief, you're in charge?' I like that. Night Jim," Blair waved as he left the doorway to Jim's room.

"Blair?" Jim asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, man?"

"I'd like to sleep in the room with my little girl, no offense but I'd feel better with her being with me."

"Sure Jim, I'll sleep in here?" Blair looked around at the nice clean bedroom and smiled.

"Make yourself at home." Jim walked down to Savannah's room and climbed into the twin bed that was there.

Jim felt such longing and need he was shocked. He hadn't been with a man in years. He really hadn't thought about ever doing it again. Maybe he should reconsider.

Ellison, he's your daughter's doctor. Get your brain back up in your big head.

He lay there with his cock throbbing and wanted to touch himself so badly but knew he couldn't do that. It would be like sleeping with the man without his knowledge. Not to mention he was in his little girls' room. Go to sleep, Ellison. Now, if only his cock would only listen to reason.

Blair lay in the big bed and wondered if Jim Ellison ever dated guys. Sandburg, keep your mind on your job. Savannah is your patient... Not for long...

As he lay there his cock began to swell thinking about the man. God, he's so gorgeous. Blair began to stroke himself slowly at first with Jim's face in his mind. Then he remembered how great Jim's chest looked and stepped up the pace of stroking. Before long he was quietly panting as he came closer and closer and finally came, biting his lip to keep from screaming a certain somebody's name out. He picked up his shirt and wiped himself off and then rolled over and went to sleep.

Jim was still awake when he heard a strange sound, he opened up his hearing so he could hear more and found out that it's not always good to do that. He could hear Blair jerking off in Jim's bedroom. Fuck... Why can't it be me in there jacking off?

Before long Jim not only heard the pace get faster, but he heard Blair grunt and come. And his nostrils were full of the smell of Blair's sex. Oh god...

Jim got up and went into the bathroom off his daughter's room because he had to do something. He stood there and leaned against the counter and fisted his cock so hard that he came in moments. He had to make sure he didn't cry out and wake up his daughter. While cleaning up his own mess, he opened the door to find a wide awake baby girl lying there. Way to go, Jim, you woke her up with your blasted heartbeat speeding up.

Whispering Jim leaned over the crib, "Hey sweetheart, what are you doing up, huh?"

Savannah cooed and smiled and put her arm up until Jim picked her up. So much for that sleep over person helping me. Snickering, he sat in the rocking chair and started singing softly to her. When he felt her stiffen, he listened and heard Blair come down the hallway. There was a slight knock on the door as Jim whispered, "We're up, come on in."

The door opened and Blair walked over and sat on the floor next to Savannah's Rocking Chair. Blair smelled something odd. Oh shit, he was doing the same thing I was doing. Smiling up at Jim he said, "Did I disturb you with my activity?"

Jim was shocked that Blair knew that he knew. He smiled back and said, "I smelled it in the air, I can't help it, I had to do something. But when I did something, Savannah woke up. Any change in my heart beat and she wakes."

"Well that sucks. Now I'll take her and you lay down and go to sleep." Blair took the sleepy baby girl from her Daddy and walked out of the room. Jim climbed into the bed and didn't even remember pulling the covers up.

When Jim woke up, he looked at the clock and saw it was 6:30 a.m. and he'd not been up to feed Savannah. He jumped out of bed only to find an empty crib waiting for him. He tried not to panic as he ran from the room. He listened for her heartbeat and heard it coming from his bedroom. He rushed down the hallway and entered the room to find one of the funniest sights he'd ever seen in his life. His daughter was lying on Blair Sandburg's bare chest and she was touching the hair in her fingers, while cooing and laughing. In the meanwhile, Blair was sound asleep and hadn't moved an inch. On either side of the bed were chairs from the dining room, to keep Savannah from falling out of the bed if she woke before he did. A rush of warmth ran through the large man's body just seeing his little girl with this kind man. Blair had probably been up all night long with her. Jim leaned on one of the chairs and picked his little girl up and she started crying.

Blair was off the bed in seconds. "Wha... Jim, what are you doing?" A very confused and half asleep Blair looked from Jim to the baby and back again.

"I wanted you to get some sleep, but I guess she didn't want to leave her human blanket." Jim laughed as he walked out of the room and headed to Savannah's room to change her.

Blair got out of bed and moved the chairs away from the bed and then brushed his teeth, shaved and cleaned up somewhat. Once that was done he felt a lot better. He then said into the hallway, "Jim, do you mind if I borrow something to wear?"

"No, help yourself, Chief," Jim called back to the younger man.

Blair found himself smiling at the nickname. He really liked Jim Ellison. He was a good kind man, he could tell and Blair Sandburg knew that he was hopelessly falling in love.

Dressed and feeling one hundred percent better, he walked into the kitchen to find Jim feeding Savannah. "Hi Vanny," Blair cooed to her.

"Vanny?" Jim growled.

"It's cute, she likes it. It makes her smile, try it and see." Blair ignored Jim's growl and sneer.

"I'm not calling her Vanny and neither are you. So stop it," Jim commanded.

"Fine, you grouch. So feel up to discussing something about your life yet? Or are you going to keep it inside all of your life?" Blair wondered if he was pushing Jim too far.

For the next three hours, they discussed Jim, his senses, Savannah and her senses and Carolyn and the lack of a mother around the house. When Jim was done, he finally said, "So, what can you do to help, Blair? Tell me that you have a miracle cure for my little girl, because my dad said I didn't get it until later. I can't stand the idea of her having it this young. It must be horrible for her," he said as he picked her up and cuddled her.

"I don't have a cure, Jim. Because there is nothing wrong, this is right." Blair went on to tell him about his early studies in Anthropology and what he had learned through Sir Richard Burton and how it could help Jim.

Jim smiled at Blair for the first time with a look of hope in his eyes. "You think you can help? Really, help?"

"Yes, Jim I think I can. Trust me, all right. I want to move in with you for a few weeks because I'm going to have to do a lot of studies on the both of you and go from there. What do you think of having your home invaded?" Blair chuckled when Jim had the sneer back on his face.

"I have a spare room, with no furniture in it. I guess we could buy some things," Jim added.

"No, I think we should leave things the way they are. You sleep in the twin bed in Savannah's room and I'll sleep in your room," Blair smiled when he saw the look of disgust on Jim's face. "What? You don't like sharing with your little girl?"

"I want some privacy. I'd rather have you in the spare room if you don't mind. We can go shopping tonight," Jim offered helpfully.

"How about if I bring some things from my place? That way you don't have to buy anything new that you don't really want," Blair counter-offered.

"Sounds good to me, I'll get your things in my pickup. My dad will watch Savannah. When can we do this?" Jim asked, hoping that it would be soon. He hated the thought of this man ever leaving his house. Why do you like him so much Ellison?

"Well how about tomorrow? I'm off for the weekend. I actually am off until Tuesday. I only work four days a week," Blair told Jim so he could write it on the calendar.

"That's great," Jim answered, "that'll give us three days to get things done before you have to go back to work."

"Well Jim, I have a late appointment today, so I need to get to the office. Talk to you tonight. I'll stop by and get a suitcase full of my own clothing so I don't have to borrow yours," Blair said as he headed for the door.

Savannah started sobbing seeing Blair go to the door. Blair looked at Jim as if he knew what was going on. "I think she likes you," Jim said shrugging his shoulders.

"See you tonight, sweetie." Blair kissed her on the cheek and flew out the door so he'd have time to change before the office.

Jim smiled at the retreating form leaving his home. He looked so damn sexy in Jim's sweats and his oversized sweatshirt.

"Well Savannah, it looks like we're going to have a new roomie. What do you think of that?"

Jim called his dad to set up arrangements for he or Sally to be at the house all weekend so they could get Blair moved in. Jim was shocked when his father seemed so willing to let this happen.

That weekend they got Blair all moved into the spare room and Blair put a portable crib in the room, which he had picked up at a store for Savannah when she was keeping Jim awake. Jim smiled at the thoughtful man for thinking of his little girl.

Starting Monday night, Savannah slept all night long, so did Jim. So did Blair. They started their first day as a family more or less. Blair got up and made breakfast while Jim showered and shaved. Then while Jim fed Savannah breakfast Blair took his shower, shaved and dressed for work. When Savannah saw him go to the door to leave, she sobbed again, making Blair feel like shit.

"Chief, go on, she's just not used to anyone leaving here. I never leave her." Jim smiled and pushed him out the door holding his sobbing little girl.

"Well, we're going to fix that soon. You're going to start getting out, she needs to get used to other people Jim. We'll ask some friends to help us," Blair stated as in a fact, not a question.

"I don't have any friends to speak of, Chief. I had a friend in the police department years ago, but haven't seen him in years. I bet you have a lot of friends, don't you?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, I've got quite a few, but we're going to call on that friend, and we're going to make Savannah's life as normal as possible. All right? Now I have to go. Talk to you tonight." And Blair leaned in and almost kissed Jim goodbye. When he realized what he'd done, he blushed and practically ran to his car. What are you thinking of? Step back, stay objective. Oh objective my ass it's too late.

Jim almost laughed because he knew that Blair had almost touched his lips. He felt like his life might be looking up for a change. And it felt so good.

He swung his little girl up into the air, hearing her squeal with delight, made him smile even larger. "Yes, we've gotten us a good friend, Savannah. But don't let him call you Vanny, okay?"

They all got into a routine for the next four weeks. Blair studied them, but not so as to make them uncomfortable. Each day they worked on new things to help Jim control his senses, and before long he was using the dial that Blair told him about. And then Jim was able to keep from zoning on his own more or less. Sometimes he needed help from the young doctor. Blair seemed to ground him when Jim needed it most.

Once they got Jim more or less under control, then they both started focusing on Savannah. They kept track of all foods she ate and any allergies. That included scents, foods, clothing, cleaning supplies and everything else they could think of.

One day Jim was able to open the drapes in the living room without Savannah having a screaming fit. He smiled at Blair and almost hugged him, but kept his distance. He knew that Blair only saw he and Savannah as subjects he could study.

Blair wondered what had made Jim look so sad so suddenly. He was going to get that stoic man to open up if it was the last thing this Anthropologist did.

After two more weeks, Savannah could go outside and be around children and noise. Blair just kept working with her every night. She was growing like crazy and learning things that Blair never dreamed a baby this age could learn. Both men were very impressed.

While sitting at the dinner table one evening, Jim said, "Blair, would you like to go out for dinner? I'd like to thank you for everything you've done for me and Savannah."

"Man, we're so far from done," Blair started almost as an excuse.

"I know, I just wanted to thank you. We could ask Sally to come over and watch Savannah." Jim held his breath while he waited for Blair's answer.

"Sure, that would be great. But first I think we should have a dinner party. We'll have Megan Conner, my friend from my office and you can invite Simon Banks that Police Captain. What do you say?" Blair asked coyly.

"Are you playing matchmaker?"

"Maybe, I really like Simon. And I think he and Megan would get along beautifully. It might help that she's a Forensic Psychologist," Blair beamed about his friend.

"I think you're right. How about next week? This week I'm taking you out," Jim commanded softly.

"Sure that will be great. Thanks, Jim. Well I'm off to get ready for bed. Busy day tomorrow," Blair said as he leaned down to give Savannah a big sloppy kiss on her cheek, making her laugh.

That night after his daughter was safely in bed, and Jim was in his own bed, he stroked his cock and whispered, "I'll ask Blair out, after the thank you dinner. You'll get some action sooner or later. Just be good until then, all right?"

Down the hall, the same thing was happening. Blair was so tired of fisting his cock, but the idea of being with anyone but Jim turned him totally off. So until one of them got up enough nerve to ask the other out, this would have to do. As Blair came all over his stomach and groin he realized it must not be too bad. He felt good. He got up and cleaned himself off and then fell into a deep sleep.

When Jim woke on Saturday morning, Blair asked, "Would you mind if I took Savannah for the day?"

Jim stalled for a moment, but finally said, "Sure. Have a good time. Call if you have any troubles."

Blair got her ready to go, with Jim hovering over both of them, asking where they'd be and for how long so many times, it was driving Blair nuts.

"Jim, we're going to go for a long walk by the beach, then we're taking a trip to the zoo, and from there we'll go to the park. We'll be back about dinner time. So expect us then. Okay with you tough guy?" Blair asked kidding but really meant it.

They left for the day and Jim paced off an on most of the day. William dropped by to see how things were. Jim was actually glad to see another person. He was so used to never being alone; he hated it.

As William sat down in the living room he asked, "So how are you three doing living together?"

"We're getting along well. Thanks for asking." Jim wondered where this line of questioning was going.

"Sally and I think that you've courted long enough, it's time to ask him out," William smiled over at his son.

"Dad, I can't believe you're willing to let my lifestyle come close to your job," Jim said almost angrily.

"I'm sorry Jimmy. I made a lot of mistakes. But I'll make it up to you. Don't you worry." William smiled over to his son and saw that his son was smiling back.

"Dad, I didn't mean to make you feel bad. You've been great with both Savannah and me. And Blair really likes you, too," Jim gushed out quickly. He hated the warm fuzzy feelings sometimes.

"So, are you going to ask him out or not?"

"Well we're having dinner tomorrow night, I made reservations. I needed to ask you if you'd baby-sit," Jim looked at his dad waiting for the answer.

"I love watching Savannah. Sure, I'll be here at around 7:00 is that all right with you?"

"Yeah, that would be perfect. The reservations are for 7:30. Thanks again, Dad," Jim said excitedly.

William never thought he would see his son this excited about going on an almost date. He thinks it's not a date. That boy is such a dreamer.

*****

After William left, Jim ran some errands and ended up at the gym to work out. He ran into Simon and some of the other guys from Major Crime. While they all worked out, they continued to talk. Each man filled the others in on what was new in their lives.

"So Ellison, how is your baby?" Rafe finally asked what no one else wanted to.

"She's doing really well. You wouldn't believe the changes in her now. They're sure she doesn't have Autism. She's sitting by herself, holding her own bottle, waving, sleeping all night and doing everything a normal seven month old baby does. She's great," Jim beamed as he was speaking about his darling child.

"That's terrific news, Jim," Brown said as he pounded Jim on the back in a manly gesture.

Jim realized that things would change when they found out about how he felt about Blair. Shit, maybe I'm not ready for this.

"So, how's it working out with this Sandburg character?" Simon asked.

"Pretty good. By the way, he wants you to come to dinner next week, Simon. But I think you all should come. I think you'd like him. He's so good with Savannah." Again, Jim was bursting with pride and they all noticed.

"Sure, what night?"

"Is Wednesday all right with all of you? That's his quiet night and he does most of the cooking now," Jim said smiling.

"Listen I have to go, what time on Wednesday?" Rafe called over his shoulder.

"Seven..." Jim wondered if he should have checked with Blair first. Too late now Ellison.

All the men left and went their separate ways. The drive home Jim was getting excited about telling Blair what time they were going out. When he drove up into the driveway he saw Blair's car there and could hear both of them inside.

"Daddy will be home soon, Savannah. Let's get everything really nice so he'll be happy, okay?" Jim heard Blair telling his daughter.

Jim opened the door and called out, "Hey, I'm home."

Blair came out of the kitchen carrying Savannah who was trying to get out of Blair's arms and fly over to Jim. Jim rushed over to his daughter, grabbed her and hugged her gently.

"She missed you, too. She can't say Daddy yet, but her eyes said it plenty," Blair said smiling at the two of them.

"I never knew I would miss her so much. I didn't even know I did until I just walked in and it hit me. I was at the gym with some friends and I was telling them all about you and how much you've done for me and Savannah." Jim was somewhat surprised with things he told Blair on a daily basis.

"Well, at least you know you're normal. I would miss her like crazy if she was mine." Blair walked back into the kitchen and Jim followed. The kitchen was a mess, but boy did it ever smell good. Lasagna?

"God, do you think you used enough pots and pans, Chief?" Jim asked with a huge smile on his face.

"Well, Savannah was helping me," Blair replied, laughing and Jim saw the look in Blair's eye and knew that they were both thinking the same thing.

"Blair, what are we doing here?"

"I think we both know what we want, but I need some ground rules laid down first." Blair continued to cook the wonderful meal that was going to keep his mind off of Jim for a while.

"So, you're attracted to me?" Jim asked hopefully.

"Duh... Geeze Jim, are you always this slow after going to the gym?" Blair loved teasing this man.

Jim blushed and said, "Just answer my question, Sandburg. Okay?"

"Yeah, we're on the same page, Jim. We're on the same damn page and I would love to turn that page," Blair said moving closer to Jim.

Jim put Savannah in her high chair and moved back into Blair's space and hugged him and said, "It's been a long, long time since I did anything like this. I don't even know where to begin."

"Well that's good, because we're not moving forward until you take care of some unfinished business. You have to promise me that you'll do this one thing for me and then I'm all yours." Blair pulled farther away from Jim, warning Jim that it was something big.

"What? What unfinished business?" Jim asked.

"I want you to go and meet with Carolyn. I need you to be sure that you're over her and she doesn't want Savannah," Blair said firmly, but wasn't quite hitting the mark. Jim could tell he was a wreck.

"What if I don't want to see her? What if I know what I want?" Jim replied.

"And what about Savannah? What would she want? Would she want to know her Mother if given the chance? Think before you answer, Jim," Blair stated flatly.

"Fine, then we're on for dinner tomorrow night?" Jim asked.

"If you're back in time. You might need more time to talk to her." Blair was giving him all the room he needed. But what if Jim didn't want room? What if Jim didn't want a woman, but wanted a man very much? "Why don't you go in your room and call her and set up something?" Blair asked quietly.

"Fine..." Jim left the room and went in to call Carolyn.

Sitting on the bed he heard Blair tell Savannah, "We'll tell him how wonderful our day was when he comes back out to eat, okay, sweetie?"

Jim smiled as he dialed Caro's number. After four rings, she answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Carolyn?" Jim asked.

"Jimmy? Is this really you? I've missed you so much. I was just thinking of you today."

"Would you like to have lunch or dinner tomorrow and talk about some things?" Jim hoped she'd say no and make his decision less hard.

"Oh, that would be wonderful, Jimmy. What time would you like to pick me up for dinner? Oh, and you don't have my new address. Do you have a pen?"

"Yes, I have a pen, Caro. And how about seven?"

"That would be perfect. The address is 285 37th Street. I'll see you then," Carolyn said as she hung up the phone.

As Jim walked out of his room he realized how shitty it was to use his reservations that he had made for he and Blair, and then use them for he and Carolyn. But he didn't know what else to do. Walking into the kitchen he saw the table set, and dinner waiting.

Jim walked over to Savannah and kissed the top of her head. "I missed you so much today, sweetheart. Maybe after dinner while Daddy is doing the dishes, you and Blair can tell me all about your day," Jim smiled over at Blair.

"You were listening in on us. Stop that," Blair scolded but really didn't mean it.

Jim then leaned down and kissed Blair's lips softly. "That's just to get us through the next day. I'm going out to dinner with Carolyn tomorrow night, and then you and I will pick this up where it left off. Deal?"

"Yeah, that's a deal. Just for the record, I'm crazy about you," Blair said kissing Jim once more before they began to eat.

Blair told Jim all about their day, filling him in on just how brilliant his daughter was. Jim was afraid that Blair was going to make her the biggest brat that was ever put on the face of this earth. Deal with it, Ellison, he loves her.

Blair continued telling them of their day and Jim watched smiling as Blair had his hands going all over the place and then he watched Savannah and saw that she was just as excited when Blair was talking about all of the things they did. Jim had this really warm feeling inside when he realized that this is what families do during dinner. It was nice.

When there was a lull in the action, Jim said, "Chief, I hope you don't mind, but I invited Simon, Rafe, Henry and Joel over for Wednesday night. Would that be all right?"

"Oh yeah, man, that would be great. I can't wait to meet the other guys. I know you've talked about them a lot, and I know I'll like them, too," Blair had his hands moving all over the place again making Jim smile once more.

After Jim got the kitchen all clean, he got Savannah in the tub and she was down by seven that night. He looked over at Blair and said, "Would you like to join me in my bed tonight?"

"As much as I'd like to Jim, I'm going to wait until you talk to Carolyn, all right?" Blair hoped he would understand.

"Sure. I'll see you in the morning. I'm going to shower and go to bed and watch television," Jim said walking down the hallway.

Blair watched him go down the hall knowing that Jim was horny and felt like he had made a wrong move. But he didn't know what else to do. Yes, you do, now go and do it. Blair turned out all of the lights and locked the doors and knocked softly on Jim's door.

"It's open," Jim called out softly. He was just beginning to get undressed. Blair went into his arms. Jim held on to him so hard that Blair could hardly breathe. "Chief, don't do this if you don't want to, all right?"

"That's the problem, my body is telling me to get my butt in here big time," Blair smiled up at his new lover.

"Well, how about if we only watch some television and sleep? Would that help?" Jim asked.

"Help what Jim? That's not going to help my cock who seems to want to find yours on it's own," Blair said trying not to laugh, because it wasn't really funny.

Jim looked at him pitifully and said, "I want to sleep, Blair. All right?"

"Oh, okay. Sure. I'll see you in the morning," Blair walked out of his room and Jim followed him and said, "Chief, I want everything to be free and clear between us. Right now, we've got Carolyn right there. She needs to be out of the picture."

"Okay. I'm still wild about you, Jim," Blair stood on his toes and kissed Jim softly before he walked down to his room. "Night, man."

"Night Chief," Jim called out softly.

******

The next day flew by as Jim tried not to be nervous for his 'date' with Carolyn. Blair finally broke the silence and said, "I have an appointment at noon on Monday, think you'll be free to keep Savannah?"

"Where do you think I'll be, Chief?"

"Well, just in case," Blair said head hanging down.

"I'll be here, don't worry, all right?" Jim assured him.

When he left that night, there was a certain amount of edginess to both of the men. Jim kissed Savannah goodnight before he left and then he leaned down and kissed Blair, too. "See you soon." Jim then walked out the front door.

Blair knew that this was going to be a long fucking night.

***

Carolyn opened the door and almost screamed, "Jimmy, you look wonderful. God, are you a sight for sore eyes. You're just the same. God, you stay in good shape, baby." She started rubbing her hands over Jim's belly and then his groin and Jim was getting hard. He tried to think of other things but then Carolyn said, "God, I couldn't get you out of my mind. How about we order something and have it delivered and we spend the night talking?"

Jim opened up his mouth and said, "Sure." 'Sure'? What the fuck are you doing?

There was no talking. No, instead, Carolyn proceeded to get Jim into bed after they ate dinner and they lay there in each other's arms, half naked and about to go one step further when Jim realized he didn't love her. There were no feelings for her. He couldn't do this.

The big dumb man didn't want to be with Carolyn. He wanted to be with Blair. Jim loved a man. It was as simple as that. And he was going to tell Carolyn he was in love with someone else and then they'd discuss Savannah. He said, "Carolyn, we have to talk."

"Jimmy, I don't want to talk. We can talk anytime. Right now, I want you to make love to me."

"I need to talk to you, Caro. First of all, it was great seeing you, but I won't be seeing you like this again. I'm in love with someone else," Jim said tonelessly.

"Why did you ask me out, if you're in love with someone else?" Carolyn asked evilly.

"Well, I thought I wanted to get back with you. I thought we could be a family again. But then I realized I don't want you in my family. You didn't want your family when we needed you, and we're not going to do it now," Jim pulled on his clothing as quickly as he could.

He hoped he hadn't already fucked up one of the best things he'd ever had in his life.

"You still have that baby?" Carolyn asked.

Jim looked over at her and saw her for the first time and realized what a cold heartless bitch she was. "Yeah, I still have that baby. Thanks so much for asking about your daughter." Jim was putting his socks and shoes on when she started yelling at him.

"I told you from the start that I didn't want her. But you wouldn't listen would you? All you ever cared about was her. You never cared about me. You bastard, get out of here."

Jim did just that and decided he needed to go somewhere and shower. He ended up at Simon's knocking on his door at 11:00 at night. The Captain of Major Crime wasn't a happy camper about being woken up. But when he saw the look on Ellison's face, he opened the door and said, "What's wrong?"

"Simon, could I borrow your shower?"

"What are you doing, Jim? You just told me you were in love with him. You slept with someone else?"

"I had a meeting with Carolyn and we didn't sleep together, but we were thinking about it," Jim said hanging his head in shame.

"Oh... I kept waiting for you to try and get back with her. It's just like you to try and make things work out. You know where my shower is. Help yourself."

Simon walked into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee and called William. "Sir, this is Simon Banks."

"Hi Simon, what's wrong?" William sounded worried.

"Everything, Sir. Jim might have screwed up things with he and Blair, and now he's over here. I wondered if maybe you wanted to go make sure Blair doesn't leave," Simon suggested.

"Yes, that's what I'll do. Thank you for letting me know," William hung up the phone and got dressed to go over to his son's house.

Blair was pacing and berating himself for sending Jim into Carolyn's arms. "Why do you always do this? Things were fine, but no, you have to make things worse and send him into the bitch's arms. God, I'm such an idiot." When the doorbell rang, it scared him. He ran to the door and saw William standing at the door and thought something had happened to Jim. William saw the tears in his eyes and said, "Hi, I know it's late, but could I leave my car and trade with you? Jimmy said he'd look at it tomorrow while he was here."

"Oh, sure," Blair was so relieved, William could see from his stature alone. "Would you like a drink, William?"

"No, thank you, I need to get home. If you give me your keys, we can trade cars. Are you sure you don't mind?" William said casually.

"No, I don't mind. I don't have an appointment until noon, so I'll take a cab then," Blair said, handing his keys over to William.

"Or I could give you a ride, too. Just call me and let me know, okay, Blair?"

"Sure. I'll see you soon," Blair said as he was shutting the door.

William knew that if Jimmy didn't fix this, Blair would be gone for good.

Blair went into his room and started packing his bags, but decided to lie down and rest for a while and feel sorry for himself.

Jim drove up in his driveway and cursed when he saw his Father's Buick. Well that answer's that question. Opening the door as quietly as he could, he slung his things on the sofa. Then he walked into Savannah's room to check on her and she was wide-awake. He picked his precious bundle up and held her close as his heart broke.

He sat her on the floor of the bedroom to play and he sat down and started to talk to her, never knowing that Blair was awake and heard every word he was saying.

"Well Savannah, I talked to your Mom. But before that, I was thinking about sleeping with her, and thankfully I decided against that last part. I knew that we weren't a family like you, Blair and me. We're a good family. We have a lot of fun, laughs, smiles and love. We would have gotten none of that from your Mom, I'm afraid. I don' t love her and she sure doesn't love either of us. I realized I have everything I need in Blair. He's all we need and I think I screwed it up. I'm so sorry, sweetie, but she said she still doesn't want to see you. So, it's just you and me, kiddo. I can't ever make this up to you, but I'll try."

He held her in his arms and tried to get his emotions under control when he felt two strong familiar arms go around them and hold on for dear life.

Blair whispered, "I love you." Then he proceeded to hug Jim and Savannah tighter. "Remind me to thank your Dad tomorrow, okay?"

Still choked up, he leaned back into Blair and didn't say a word. Blair reached around and picked Savannah up and put her into her crib and before long she was sleeping. When Blair turned around Jim was gone. He walked down to Jim's bedroom. They were going to talk this out if it was the last thing they did. But before he did, he stopped off at his room and picked up a bag with condoms and lube in it and took it in Jim's direction.

He walked into the room without knocking and saw Jim just standing there looking lost. Blair dropped the bag on the floor and kicked it towards the bed. "Come here big man and hold me." Blair put his arms out as an open invitation.

Jim went right into them and he said, "I love you so much, Chief."

"Good, because you're going to show me, now," Blair said, undressing Jim slowly and pushing him down on the bed.

As Blair took his clothes off, he looked over to see a smiling Jim Ellison waiting patiently. Well as patiently as you can wait while sporting a woody that big. Naked, Blair crawled up on the bed and began to kiss Jim. Soft kisses turned into ones with more passion, making both men harder and harder. Blair then moved down and started licking Jim a little bit at a time. Jim moaned the entire time. By the time he got to Jim's cock, the large man was ready to pop. Blair smiled again as he spread Jim's legs further apart and started doing some kissing and licking on the inside of his thighs. Almost insane with lust, Jim called out, "Blair, please?" But Blair paid no attention at all. He had a mission to accomplish. He was going to do something he had never done before. Blair had always wanted to be tongue fucked or tongue fuck someone. It had never happened. Tonight, it was going to happen. It was no longer an adventure, this was going to be a fucking quest.

As Blair went lower and started licking between Jim's cheeks, Jim jumped and said, "Blair?" The younger man could feel Jim tensing up and rubbed the inside of Jim's thigh and said, "This is going to feel so good Jim. Let me take care of you. Do you trust me?"

"Yes..." And the next thing Jim knew Blair's tongue was licking his pucker. Jim almost came off the bed. But he stayed still, because he had promised Blair, he would let him drive. Jim had never let anyone else drive before. He never even thought about it. But he was thinking about it now. Fuck... What in the hell have I been missing?

Blair flipped Jim over quite easily because Jim wanted this too. Spreading his ass cheeks apart, Blair dove in and began to fuck him with his tongue. Jim kept meeting each thrust of his tongue with his ass coming back to meet the young man. "Chief, I'm really close," Jim moaned out as he neared the edge.

"Wait for me, Jim, all right?" Blair went back to business and Jim tried as hard as he could to wait for Blair, but it was impossible. God, Blair's tongue was in his ass. Not only was it in his ass, but it felt like he was trying to eat him. God, this was so good that Jim couldn't hold on any longer. With a shout of "Chief" he came all over the bed and himself.

Blair just kept busy doing what he was doing. He wanted to do it again with him fucking Jim's ass with his cock. After about two minutes, Jim was meeting Blair's tongue again with each thrust. "Jesus, Chief, you do this well. Fuck me, baby, fuck me."

Blair slid his tongue out of Jim's ass and heard the older man, whimper and that made him smile. "It's all right, I'm just getting the lube so I can make this feel really good," Blair continued to look for the lube and once that was done, he began to prepare Jim for the fucking of his life. By the time he had three fingers in the big man, Jim was begging. Blair slid on a condom and knew that they were ready.

"Jim, if this hurts in any way, you tell me and we'll stop. Do you understand?" Blair just wanted to be sure that was understood before they went on.

"Yes, now fuck me," Jim pleaded.

Blair flipped Jim over and put his big legs over his shoulders and put the tip of his cock in Jim's anus. "Come on, baby, fuck me." Jim was begging now.

Blair pushed in a little way and stopped until Jim got used to the invasion. Before long Jim was meeting him with his own thrusts and wanted more. So Blair pushed in some more. Before long he was in all the way, his balls meeting Jim's ass. "You feel so incredible, Jim. You're so fucking tight, Jesus, it feels like you've never done it." Blair began thrusting harder and harder and saw the look on Jim's face and realized that Jim hadn't done it before. Fuck, you didn't even ask him if he'd ever bottomed. He's a natural, though.

Jim was making little sounds that was almost enough to drive Blair over the edge. He never dreamed that Jim would be a noisy lover. But he was. "I love you, Chief."

"I love you, too, Jim. Now come for me," Blair started pounding into Jim as hard as he could because he knew he was right there and Jim was too. Jim reached down and pulled on his own cock twice and came shouting, "Chief," and came again almost as hard as the first time.

Blair's cock felt like it was being strangled and he thrust twice more and came into Jim's ass, almost sobbing, "Jim,".

Once they calmed down somewhat, Blair pulled out of Jim and went to get the wipes that were in the bag. He cleaned both of them off and Jim almost seemed interested again as Blair cleaned him, but Blair kissed him and said, "We need to sleep now. We've got a little girl to get up with in the morning."

Jim listened for Savannah and he turned to Blair and said, "Why didn't she wake up? She usually does with any noise."

"Are you complaining?" Blair smiled into his lover's shoulder as he cuddled closer and closer getting ready to sleep.

"Chief, can we still have the dinner party this week? We'll invite Megan, too?"

"Sure, anything you want, big man. Why didn't you tell me that you'd never bottomed?"

"Because I've never wanted to until I met you. I don't think I trusted anyone enough. I've only been with a guy once, Chief. You make it sound like I've been with tons." Jim kissed the top of Blair's curly head as he held him.

"Once? Man, I love you so much."

"I love you too, Blair. Now let's get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow."

In the morning Jim woke to a nice smell of pancakes and bacon coming from the kitchen. He could hear his little darling laughing with Blair. What a wonderful sound to wake up to. Jim got out of bed and took a fast shower to see if some of the soreness would leave. He didn't want to tell Blair he was sore. Blair wouldn’t want to do it again if he complained. And he wanted to do it again, soon. Oh god, you're a slut, Ellison. A bottom boy slut, at that.

The hot water did indeed loosen him up and make him feel better. He whistled as he got dressed and walked into the kitchen and before he sat down at the table with Blair, he kissed Savannah, then as he sat down, he kissed the man he was in love with. "Chief, breakfast smells great. Thank you for getting up with Savannah and making us all something to eat." As he sat down, he winced and Blair saw the look and knew that look. "It'll be better by this afternoon, Jim. I promise."

"Good, because I plan on more of this tonight." Jim started to eat and act like he was always sore.

Blair loved this man so much, he couldn't possibly put it into words. If it took forever he was going to prove it to him, though.

"I've got some things to talk to you about." Blair took a drink of his green shake and hoped that Jim would at least put the paper down to listen to what he had to say.

"Chief, I always listen to you." Jim set his paper down and looked seriously at his lover.

"Well, I think that you should consider going back to work with your Dad. We can put Savannah in one of those great programs near my work. I can take her on my way to work, if that's all right with you," Blair said, quickly knowing this might not go over well with Jim.

"Well as much as I hate to think about leaving her, I know that you won't let me take her to a place that isn't top notch. Right? And I do need to get out and see people other than Savannah." Jim smiled over at his daughter who was happily sitting in her high chair, throwing food all over the kitchen floor.

"So, you'll consider it?" Blair asked shocked that Jim was giving in so easily.

"Yeah, I'll think about it. First, I have to check out these places. I can't just take her somewhere I don't know. I might have to spend some time there with her to make sure everything is all right." Jim looked over at Blair to see if he was going to laugh.

"That's a damn good idea, babe. Check the place out well and then you'll feel better about leaving her there. And when I'm off on Mondays, I'll keep her with me. All right?" Blair was almost bouncing in his seat, which made Jim smile even more.

Jim got up to put his dish in the sink and kissed Savannah on the way, saying, "I love you, baby doll."

"Who wouldn't love that little darling?" Blair asked in all seriousness without thinking. Then when he realized what he said he tried to take it back, "Jim, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it came out."

"It's all right, Blair, we both know she's the one that's going to miss out on a wonderful opportunity in life. She's going to miss out on the baths, the laughs, the smiles, the little heart-tugging cries during the night and kissing and hugging her. We're the lucky ones. Carolyn will never know this and for that I'm sorry for her. She'll feel like she's missing something all of her life. I know I would be."

"Jim, I love you so much. You're such a good Daddy. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me share in your daughter's life. Now, can I move in for good?"

Jim started laughing and said, "I thought that was a given, Chief. God, come here." He took Blair into his arms and kissed him and pulled him onto his lap. "I don't think I like the taste of that shake. How about you brush your teeth and we'll try out some other tastes?"

"Well that would be nice, but Savannah's sitting here." Blair looked at Jim like he had lost his marbles.

"I'm going to go and rock her to sleep right now. So I'll be in the bedroom soon. Go and take your shower and relax until I get there. This is our quality time." Jim got up and reached for his daughter who put her arms out to reach for him too. When he had her in his arms, he almost cried with joy. She was such a blessing and he was very happy that she had come along. Because of her, they now had Blair in their lives too. How lucky could two people get?

As he rocked her to sleep for her morning nap, Jim told her, "Savannah, you're going to have two Daddies now. We'll love you more than anyone ever could."

Blair stood in the doorway of Savannah's room and smiled at the two of them. He loved them both so much, his heart sometimes felt like it would burst. "Jim, are we still going to be on for the dinner this week with the guys and Megan?"

"Yeah, go ahead and make your plans. Anything is good for the rest of us. And then take that shower," Jim smiled evilly at Blair when he said that and Blair got hard instantly just thinking about it.

"Babe, you're not going to be able to sit down for a week," Blair called down the hallway, over his shoulder.

"That's the plan, Chief, that's the plan," Jim said smiling once again and he hugged and loved his daughter.

She might have his eyes, but she had both of their hearts. Life was indeed good.

The end.

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Acknowledgments: For Rayden who needs a little sunshine in her life. I hope things get better, sugar.