Busted - Kel

"SANDBURG! IN MY OFFICE NOW!"

Blair sighed and kicked his feet down off the desk. "Coming, O Fearless Leader," he said, heading into the captain's office. "You bellowed, Captain Jack?"

Captain Jack Pendergrast motioned Blair in his office. "Close the door, Slick."

Blair slammed the door shut behind him and perched on the side of the captain's desk. "What's up, Captain?"

"Get your ass off my desk and sit it in a chair, first of all. Then hold onto it because I'm giving you your next assignment." He waited until Blair was seated before throwing him a file folder. "Here."

Blair caught the file and flipped through it cursorily. "Yeah, it's the Queenpin Ring. So?" The Queenpin Ring was a ring he'd been chasing with Narcotics for about three months now. They were starting to push a new designer drug called Golden, and that shit was bad news. It was already killing people. "Tell me something I don't know, Captain."

"All right, smartass, how about this? Narcotics just called this morning and they've got the Ring traced to their headquarters."

Blair bolted upright in his seat. "What!! When! Where!"

"Oh, do I have your attention now, Slick? When was this morning, early. Where is The Closet, the fag club over on Prospect."

"Gay club, sir," Blair corrected automatically.

"Yeah, whatever. You getting PC on me, Sandburg?"

"Christ, I hope not, Captain. I just don't like being called a fag," he said, daring the captain to argue with him.

"Jesus jumped-up Christ on a tricycle. Not you too." Blair nodded as Jack heaved a huge sigh. "That's information I really didn't need to know, Slick. We're not going to have a problem with you going to this club are we?"

"Dammit, Jack, now how many times have I staked out gay clubs before and how many times have we had a problem!"

"Okay, okay, fine, I expect that trend to continue, comprende?"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it, keep my dick out of the bust."

"SANDBURG!"

Blair escaped out the door before Pendergrast could take him to task. Back at his desk, he whooped once before jumping on the telephone and dialing down to Narcotics.

"Narcotics, Rafe."

"Brian, Brian, Brian. What is this I heard from Captain Jack this morning that you guys found the Queenpin and you didn't let me in on it first?" Blair swung his feet up on his desk as he talked to his best friend, Brian Rafe of Narcotics. Brian had been the man working the closest with him on the Queenpin Ring.

"Hey, I got procedures too now, Blair, and by the way you do not check your messages."

"Why?"

"Because if you had I wouldn't be getting this phone call," Brian smirked. Blair dug out his cell phone and dialed into his voicemail. Blair, it's Brian, I'm on the way to the station now but I just wanted to let you know, we found the Queenpin and we'll be going after him in a day or two. More details soon and the drinks are on you. See ya.

"Shit."

"I told you so, Sandman. I did tell you first. Next time maybe you'll check your messages."

"Yeah yeah, fuck you very much. We're meeting at the club, right?"

"Oh no. We're meeting downstairs in a couple hours, then we're going to the club. By the way, did Jack tell you the good news?"

"What good news?"

"You're going to be our inside man, Blair. Lucky you, getting to watch all those hot guys dancing and stripping while we work our butts off…"

"Oh yeah, right. Trust me, the cap's already given me the keep your dick in your pants lecture."

Brian made a rude noise. "You do have days off, don't you?"

"Well, yeah. I got two coming next week in fact."

"So who says you got to keep your dick in on your days off? Go and find a hot stud there and take him into the back and get a little personal, maybe get a phone number…"

"BRIAN!"

"Okay, okay, no more trying to hook you up. Christ, you're cranky when you ain't been laid. See you in a couple, Sandman." Brian hung up before Blair could get another word in, and he thumped his feet off his desk and grabbed his coat and keys. To hell with this. I'm checking The Closet out on my own.

~ * ~ * ~

Backstage at The Closet, Jim Ellison was primping for his number, coming up next after CEO Sy Gates. He propped his leg up on the small vanity table and slid the garter up his leg, resting it snugly against his thigh. He straightened the short white dress and made sure it just barely covered his ass, and the white hot pants--shorter even than the dress--were lightly slicked with oil to slide down and off with ease. The deep V of the dress top was opened to it's full range, exposing as much of his muscular chest as possible, and then pinned a little white nurses' hat into his thinning hair. He admired the final result in the mirror, and smiled. To someone he might look ridiculous, but to the men out in the club that routinely stuffed his thong with hundred dollar bills and hotel room numbers, he was exactly what the doctor ordered.

In more than one way, Jim thought dismally. If not for those damned hospital bills… and they didn't find a damn thing wrong with me anyway. But that's good! Now, if I can just get enough put back to pay those bills off… maybe I can get back into the police academy.

Sy came back into the dressing room. "Okay, Jimbo, you're on," the black man said with a grin, displaying the double handful of money he pulled out of his G-string. "They're ready for you, believe me."

"Thanks, Simon," he said with a smile as he straightened his hat and waited for his music to cue.

~ * ~ * ~

Blair walked into The Closet just as a rock and roll song blared through the stage speakers. It took him a few moments to place the song as Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue, but that was soon eclipsed by the dancer on the stage.

A single spotlight hit the figure in white and he spun around, showing off a very muscular physique shoehorned into a tight white nurse's uniform. The open V of the dress neck showcased a finely chiseled chest as he watched the dancer slide his hands down his hips and slowly thrust his pelvis forward. His hands slid further down and under the white dress, and with a sexy shimmy, a pair of white hot pants came off and went sailing to the back of the stage. Those same hands slid back up, slipping inside the dress to cup his pecs before ripping the hat off and sending it sailing into the crowd. Several hands clamored for the hat as the cop watched in amazement.

Blair swallowed hard and adjusted himself, his cock straining against his zipper as he stared openly at the beautiful hunk on the stage. He squinted hard, trying to read the name tag on the breast of the dress, damning himself for leaving his glasses behind.

Jim danced over closer to the corner of the stage, his attention centered on the young man with the wild hair that was standing at the back of the group. That was his usual routine, to find one man to concentrate on and dance solely for that man, while the others watched, groped, and stuffed his thong with money. He put his hands on either side of the V-neck and ripped, the tear-away dress separating at the Velcro seams as he tossed the dress and skirt aside and stood on the stage clad only in a white thong that Blair thought would more aptly be termed, a white sock on a shoestring.

Blair looked up to find the dancer's eyes locked on him, and he smiled tentatively, and was thoroughly pleased to see the dancer's eyes light up as he thrust his hips forward, pressing a very impressive package against the thin material of the sock. Blair slid his hand down to emphasize his own package, and his eyes widened as a smile curled the dancer's lips.

Jim watched the young man in the back offer his cock in return to Jim's thrust and smiled. For a smaller guy, he was definitely packing a punch. He briefly listened to the music, regretting that he didn't have time to show off further for his new fan. Instead he focused his attention on Blair for a final moment, and did a slow, complete turn as the music faded, falling to his hands and knees, ass facing the audience as he looked over his shoulder for "his" young man. He found him still at the back of the crowd, and as Jim stood and collected the money that fell from his bikini, and for the first time felt his face color with shame for what he was doing--exploiting himself for the money. However, he didn't let his smile falter as he walked off stage, clutching the bills tightly in his fists.

He blushed, Blair thought incredulously. I can't believe he blushed when I was watching him. Amazing. I got to find out who this guy is. I got to get me a piece of that action. He grabbed the nearest waiter by the leather chest-strap. "Hey, the guy who was just dancing? What's his name?" The waiter looked Blair up and down appraisingly, and turned to walk away. Blair jerked him back. "I asked you a question and unless you want this leather contraption wrapped around your fucking throat instead of your chest, you're going to answer me."

The waiter shrugged. "All's I know is his name's Jim. He's buddies with Sy, hit him up for the 411."

Blair shoved the snarky waiter away as a shadow fell over him. "So there you are, Sandburg."

Blair sighed. "Captain."

"Don't suppose you'd tell me why you're here instead of at the meeting with everyone else?"

Blair batted his eyes innocently. "I'm the advance team, Captain. I was sent in to scout things out and find the best place for our guys."

"Looked like you were shaking the waiters down for tips."

"For information," Blair corrected. "I needed a name and he didn't want to give it to me."

"Uh huh. And just who's name did you want?"

"The guy who owns the place."

"Bit obvious, isn't it? I mean, nothing says trouble like asking for the owner on your first trip here."

"Hey, maybe I like the place."

"You would. Anyway, I can answer the question for you. Lee Brackett. Ex-CIA Black Ops. He got screwed out of a canister of Ebola a few years back and he hooked up with a madam named Samantha and he bought the club. Used to be a tit bar, until Brackett got hold of it, and turned it into a dick bar."

"I remember Brackett. Not likely that he's the brains behind this, not after the Ebola thing. Figuring it's the babe?"

"If you'd been to the meeting, you'd know all this already, Slick," Jack admonished. "But yes. We figure he's muling and dealing through the club for this Samantha chick." Then Jack pointed with his chin. "There he goes now." Blair followed Jack's chin and almost surged out of his seat. Brackett was walking out of the club with the dancer that had obsessed Blair--the one the waiter called Jim.

~ * ~ * ~

As soon as Jim got backstage, he dumped the money into his lockbox without even counting it, and put his still-red face in his hands. Sy--who was getting ready for his next set later that night--came over and put his hand on Jim's shoulder. "Jim?"

"Simon."

"What's wrong, man? You look like you lost your best friend?"

"No… I think I lost something more." He couldn't even bear to look into his friend's face. "My self-respect."

"What happened out there, Jim?"

"Oh, there was this little number out there… sexy as hell and he couldn't take his eyes off me. I did my whole show just for him, and at the end of the show I looked out at him, and he was still just watching me from the back of the crowd, his eyes wide as saucers, like he'd never seen anything before. After I saw him looking at me like that… I felt ashamed of myself."

Simon rubbed Jim on the shoulder and dragged another one of the guys over, a willowy little flake named Bryan. "Go get Lee. Tell him that Jim needs him."

"Oh, no, don't bother Lee, Sy! You know he's busy running the club."

"C'mon, Jim. You need somebody who loves you here with you."

"I think we both know Lee doesn't love me. Just what I do for him," Jim said softly. "I've seen that look in his eye before, like he can't believe the new toy he's got--me--and I don't know that I can stand being looked at like that right now."

Simon made sure Jim's box was locked and sitting on the vanity counter. "Jim, you gotta pull yourself together here. You can't fall apart cause of one little jackass out there. The people who count know this only a stopgap thing. We get good money. You need it right now. Soon as you're done, you're outta here. You're not in it for the long haul, man. You need to stop getting yourself worked up. You do what you gotta do."

Before Jim could respond, he found himself wrapped in Lee Brackett's strong arms. "Sy's right, Jim," Lee whispered comfortingly in his lover's ear. "Whatever that kid thought of you, that doesn't matter. Only what you think of yourself does."

Jim closed his eyes as he leaned back against Lee. He knew Brackett didn't love him, but he desperately needed the comfort right now. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right, baby," Lee continued soothingly. "Let me put your take in the safe and we'll get it tomorrow night. I'm taking you home."

"Okay." Jim waited in the dressing room with Simon while Lee locked the lockbox in the safe. "Sy… I want something more," Jim whispered softly.

The black dancer sighed as he wrapped one arm around Jim's shoulders. "Don't we all, my man. Don't we all."

Lee came back, and pulled Jim into a bear hug. "Come on, big guy, let's take you home."

Jim didn't protest as Lee looped their arms together and escorted him out of the club. As he left, he caught sight of his young man sitting with another man, and for an instant their eyes locked and Jim flushed again as he followed Lee out of the club.

~ * ~ * ~

"Yo, earth to Sandburg, come in, Sandburg, do you copy?"

"Oh, what?"

"I said that's got to be his new flavor of the month, because he's not in any of the surveillance we've got of Brackett so far."

"The guy's a dancer here, he did his number right before you got here. Name's Jim."

Jack quirked an eyebrow. "And I suppose he just sashayed up to you and introduced himself, huh Slick?"

"Huh? No, I found out after the number."

"Uh huh." Pendergrast's voice was heavy with sarcastic disbelief. "Tell you what, Sandburg, you just keep your dick in your pants where this Jim guy is concerned and I'll cover your ass on the Narc meeting."

"Thanks, captain, you're a lifesaver."

"Now, the Narc guy--what's his name again?"

"Rafe," Blair supplied.

"Yeah, that's him. Brian Rafe. He's going to be here in a few minutes to find out what you know, which is going to be surprisingly little. He'll tell you where to go from there."

"I won't let you down, Captain."

"Right." Jack levered himself out of the chair and headed out the door.

Blair just stared out the empty doorway after Jim and Lee Brackett.

About fifteen minutes later, Brian dropped into the chair across from Blair. "Yo, Sandman…" When he got no response, he started singing the one song that he knew annoyed the hell out of Blair Sandburg. "Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream… make his complexion like peaches and cream…" When even that didn't rouse Blair, Brian reached over and poked him, hard. "Sandburg!"

"Ow! What!?" Blair rubbed his arm where it smarted from Brian's vicious poke.

"Man, what the hell planet were you on and who was with you?" He declined the scantily-clad waiter's offer of drinks and more. "I been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes!"

"Sorry, Bri, I was just thinking."

"Yeah, Sandman, I could see that. Do I want to know what you're thinking about?"

"Nah. Not really."

"So tell me anyway. I'm a big boy, and as long as it doesn't involve animals, I can take it." Brian settled himself back in the chair. This ought to be good.

"Well, like I told Captain Jack, I came to check the place out. Nobody at the door, and they got guys on the stage that rival the Chippendales. Especially this one guy that I saw, did a dance in a nurse's uniform. Name of Jim. Anyway, these are some nice looking guys. Seriously nice, I mean, check out Gates up there."

Brian discreetly turned around and checked out the executive dancer finishing up his act on stage. The Armani suit lay crumpled on the side of the stage, and the man's toned and oiled muscles glistened under the lights as he reached into the briefcase and withdrew what had to be a foot long fake cock. "Holy shit, Sandman, tell me he ain't gonna do what I think he's going to do," Rafe said with a low whistle, unable to drop his eyes from the action on the stage. The whistle caught the attention of the dancing man, and Sy winked back as he slid the first few inches of the impossibly long cock into his mouth and throat, sliding it lewdly in and out as his free hand skimmed over his cock. Brian's eyes were wide with shock as Sy pulled the phallus out of his mouth and slid the wet head over his chest, and down against his bikini as he dry-humped the rubber shaft as the music faded. "Shit, man, I don't even swing that way, but Gawdamighty!"

"Heads up, Brian!"

Brian jerked his head up in time to see a missile coming at him. He threw his hands up and caught the flying object, staring at it in shock for a few moments. Still slightly wet from the dancer's mouth, the rubber covering the phallus shone under the house lights.

"Hey… looks like you're going to get a hands on cock--I mean, a hands on demonstration here in about ten seconds," Blair teased in a sultry whisper as he watched Gates gracefully dismount the stage and head for them.

Brian just studied the cock in his hands. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Are you that unimaginative?" Blair asked with a snort. "Damn but I wouldn't mind working overtime for that cock, let me tell you."

"Mind if I join you?" Sy had suddenly appeared at their table, and Blair's grin widened. The dancer was dressed in a pair of rip-away jeans over his thong, and was waiting to for an answer.

"Make yourself comfortable," Blair said, motioning for the waiter to bring a third chair to their table. "We may be needing a demonstration shortly."

"BLAIR!"

The chair was brought, and Sy turned the chair backwards, and dropped himself on it, his arms resting on the back as he straddled the seat. "Thank you." He gave Brian a heavy once-over, and then turned his attention to Blair. "Don't think I've seen you before."

"Nope, first time," Blair confirmed. "I'm Blair, this is Brian."

"Did you happen to catch any acts besides mine?"

It was with that question that Blair realized Sy had an agenda. "Yeah, I caught the Nurse."

Simon nodded, as though that was the answer he'd been expecting. "Did you know he danced just for you?"

What the fuck? Brian thought to himself.

"I'm sorry?" Blair asked, caught totally off guard.

"Yeah, you fit the description of the guy he gave; that's why I came over. Well… one of the reasons, anyway," he said, sliding his gaze back over to Brian, who cleared his throat. "My other motive was not quite so pure." Blair choked on his soda, which brought Sy's attention back to him. "Anyway, you upset my friend. I don't like my friends getting upset by some fresh-faced pansy off the street." Simon's voice was conversational, but the threat was unmistakable.

"Now wait just a damn minute here," Blair protested. "I didn't do anything but stand back and watch. He's the one shaking his dick up on the stage for everyone to see."

Simon narrowed his eyes. "Glad you can see so deeply into Jim from way back here in your ivory tower, Chief. But before you go making assumptions about people you don't know, keep in mind that there's more to that man than meets the eye. His reasons are his own business and I'm not going to share them with you, but I tell you one thing right now, they're not the reasons you think."

Brian intervened before Blair could say anything else. "Look… Sy, is it?" When the black man nodded, Brian continued. "I don't think that he intended to upset anyone; that's just not Blair's style. The only people he goes out of his way to piss off are his friends and his boss. I don't know what happened, but from what Blair's told me… your friend was damn good."

"That he is," Simon confirmed. "Better than any of the rest of us. Not that he wanted to be." He changed his glare to Blair. "The next time you want to flirt with someone, you better make damn sure you don't let them know how much you condemn them."

Blair dropped his eyes from the black man's heated gaze. "I never did anything like that, Sy. I watched Jim the whole time. He's the hottest thing I've ever seen. I was just surprised that someone like him would be working here. I never condemned him. I tried to find out after the dance what his name was."

Simon sighed. Reaching into his jeans he produced a small gold card-case, and withdrew two small cards. He passed one to Blair, and one to Brian. Blair inspected his card first.

Simon Banks
555-1939

Nothing else on the plain card, just the name and phone number embossed in gold. Simon's delicate fingers plucked the card out of Brian's hand and wrote something down on the back. Brian flushed when he read his note. Then Sy did the same with Blair's. Blair took the card back and read what Sy had written.

Jim Ellison
9923 Hardanger Ct. #227
555-6533

"Call," is all that he said to Blair. And then he turned to Brian, moving quickly and laying a hot kiss on Brian's tonsils, his tongue flicking and stroking rapidly. "You too, big guy." He reached down and into Brian's lap, stroking the fake cock resting there. "Keep this wet for me." Then he departed, leaving two amazed men in his wake.

Blair smiled at Brian. "Rethinking your orientation?" he smirked.

"Maybe," Rafe replied, staring after the black man as he disappeared behind the stage, and then at the dildo in his lap. Then he suddenly grinned at Blair. "Think I could swing a transfer? Suddenly I'm wanting to be a suit."

"Oh, you ready to submit your resume to Mr. Gates there, hmm?"

Rafe found himself stroking the dildo in his lap as he answered. "I'll update it in the morning." Shaking his head to clear it, he reached for Blair's card. "Let me see that. I'll check the info and see if it's legit."

"I want it back, Brian," is all that Blair said.

"Would I do that to you?" Brian pulled out his notebook and copied the information off the back of Blair's card and then passed it back. "Blair… don't call the guy until I check him," he said, concern entering his voice for the first time. "Promise me, okay?"

"Brian… it's me."

"That's what I'm afraid of. Please, Blair. Let me get the info on this guy first. I don't want you getting tangled up in something that's going to end badly for you and for your record."

Blair reached over the table and patted Brian's hand reassuringly. "I'm keeping my dick out of the bust, remember?"

"How about your feelings?" Brian asked softly.

So softly that Blair chose to disregard it. "These are some good guys, and they've got to be getting paid better'n average to keep them here. And check out the money these guys are waving at the dancer. I bet there's over a thousand bucks on offer up there and this guy will probably walk away with the most of it jammed into his bikini. How much you wanna bet Brackett's profits go into bringing the dancers in here for his clientele?"

Brian rocked back in his chair, carefully balancing his souvenir. "Now that's a damned fine possibility, Sandman. Where's Brackett now?"

"He left about twenty minutes ago with that nurse dancer."

"You don't seem too happy about that, Blair."

"You're seeing things."

~ * ~ * ~

Lee dropped Jim off at his apartment, not far from the club. "Are you sure you don't want to come back with me, baby?"

"I'm sure, Lee. I just need to be by myself for right now. Think."

Brackett's face was a mask of concern. "You want me to call you later, see how you're doing?"

Jim smiled softly. "Yeah, that would be great, thanks."

Brackett turned off the Jeep's ignition and walked Jim up the sidewalk and up the stairs to stand outside the apartment door. Jim unlocked the door, and walked into the apartment. Lee stood at the threshold. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight, Lee. And thank you."

"You're welcome," Lee said, bringing Jim's forehead to rest against his. "You need me, you call me, all right? I have friends, you know. They'll take care of that problem for you, if you decide it."

"No. It's all right, Lee, really. It's not really his fault."

Lee kissed Jim hard, and deep. "You need me, you want me, you just call me, and I'll come over."

"I'll call you later and let you know how I'm doing," Jim promised. "Maybe you can come over then." Jim smiled at the smile that crossed his lover's face. "That okay with you?"

"Anything you want's okay with me, babe. I'm going back to the club for a bit, but you've got my pager and my cell phone. Call me." With a last quick kiss, Lee departed, and Jim locked the door after him. He stripped on his way to the shower, and turned the water on as hot as he could tolerate. While the water was running hot he flipped the radio on in the living room and slipped in one of his Santana CDs, cranking the volume to be heard over the shower. The familiar sound of his own music buoyed his spirits, and he ducked into the steaming shower. While he was scrubbing himself off, he thought about his life. And what a life it is, Chief. You're Lee Brackett's slut. You let him pay for your apartment, keep you up, you sleep with him, you dance at his club… you're his slut, Jim. All for money. Jim sighed as he leaned his head against the tile wall of the shower. Damn you, kid, who the fuck are you, anyway? And how are you messing with my head like this! I was happy before you showed up at the club!

Quickly, Jim finished his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist as he went to turn his CD down. As he did, he noticed the light on his answering machine was blinking. He played the messages as he toweled his hair dry. "Jim? Hi. Um, my name is Blair… I was the one watching you in the club tonight. Sy gave me your number, told me to call you. Look… I'm sorry if you thought I was saying anything bad about you, I just, um… thought, well, you looked good up there, Jim. Couldn't take my eyes off you. So, uh… guess that's it. 555-1014."

Jim picked up the phone, and instead of dialing Blair, he dialed Simon.

"The Closet, Lee Brackett."

"Lee… it's Jim."

"Jim! I was just thinking about you, babe." Lee dropped the drink he was holding onto the table and twirled the cord of the house phone around his finger as he talked to Jim. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, a lot, thanks. Hey, can you get Sy for me a second? I need to talk to him and then when I'm done… maybe we can talk about you coming over?"

Brackett sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, baby, I got a call from Sammy about a half hour ago, right after I got back. She's not going to be down to close tonight so I have to."

Jim nodded. "So come over after you close."

"Sure you won't be asleep?"

"Just resting up," he said, making sure the smile on his face went over the phone. Okay. So maybe Lee does care and I'm getting myself all worked up for nothing.

"That's the best news I've heard tonight. See you after closing, babe. Here's Sy."

"Thanks, Lee. See you tonight."

A pause as the phone was shifted over. "Jimbo?"

"Simon Banks, what in the name of God possessed you to give that little punk-ass my home phone number?"

"Well, he was around after my act so I went out and talked to him and his buddy."

"Old guy, kinda gray, looked like he'd been rode hard and put away wet?"

"No, cute young fella. Whistled at me while I was dancing so I went over and invited myself to their table. Think the young guy's straight though, which is a cryin' damn shame--he's hot and he kisses like a wet dream."

"Didn't see him. But Sy, dammit, you still didn't tell me why you gave out my info to that damn kid!"

"Well, will you shut up and listen?" There was an expectant silence on the other end of the line. "Thank you. Now, like I said before, he was around after my act so I went out and talked to him. I lit into him and he said he never meant to make you feel down or bad about yourself because he thought you were the sexiest man he'd ever seen, and just couldn't believe his eyes."

"Oh." Jim's face burned. "He wasn't so bad himself."

Sy snorted. "Not my type. Take it he called?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

Simon made a derisive noise. "Well, Jimbo, let's see… you call me bawling me out for giving the kid your phone number, and since you and Lee had already left when I did it… only way you could know is if he called."

"Oh."

"Damn, boy. You need to think before you yell." Simon's words were chiding, his voice teasing.

"I do think, Simon. Did you give him my address too?"

"Yeah, I did. Thought he might want to come by and see you. Shoulda seen the look in his eyes, Jim. He couldn't look at me when I talked to him but I could see them. He's got something serious for you." There was a scuffle in the back, and Simon sighed. "Damn, Jim, you miss all the fun. I'm going to have to call you back."

"What!" But Jim was shouting into a dead phone.

~ * ~ * ~

As soon as Brian had shut up about Jim, he'd walked off to make a phone call to verify the information. While his friend was gone, Blair pulled out his own cell phone and dialed Jim's number. His fingers drummed impatiently through four rings, and then an answering machine picked up. "Jim? Hi. Um, my name is Blair… I was the one watching you in the club tonight. Sy gave me your number, told me to call you. Look… I'm sorry if you thought I was saying anything bad about you, I just, um… thought, well, you looked good up there, Jim. Couldn't take my eyes off you. So, uh… guess that's it. 555-1014," Blair said, leaving the phone number of the loft he called home, and then hung up the phone. Almost as soon as it did, the phone went off in his hands, beeping loudly until the cop looked at it. He quickly punched in the number of one of his favorite informants. "Garrett? Yeah, it's Sandman. Tell me good news, buddy."

"I got that information about the pipeline you wanted. Meeting with a guy named Brackett in half an hour. Place called The Closet."

"I'm there, man. Brackett left."

"Said he had to drop his basket case boyfriend off and we'd meet back up at the club."

"Man, that's the best news I heard all day." Blair was quietly elated that Jim was apparently not involved in this, and snapped his fingers wildly, getting Brian's attention and waving him over. "You going to buy from him or sell to him?"

"Buy from; they've got a surplus that he couldn't push himself and that big boss of his is getting her panties in a knot about the cash. He's going to push the surplus to me."

"Garrett, my man, you are worth every buck of that hundred I laid out to you on this."

"Yeah, well, I earn my money, Sandburg. Nobody can ever say otherwise."

"Oh my man, Brackett just walked back in, with a smile on his face and he's disappearing into the back office. You know the signal, right?"

"Yeah. I know the drill."

"You're amazing. You just made my night."

"Fuck, you're easy," the informant sneered.

"Yeah, but I don't come cheap. See you shortly." Blair hung up the phone. Brian was waiting expectantly. "Okay. That was Garrett Kincaid, my one and only informant. He's got a deal to come here to the closet and buy drugs from Lee Brackett and the money's going straight to Queen Sammie."

Brian digested all this information. "I called records. I had them run your friend, the dancer? He's squeaky clean. Not even so much as an overdue library book."

"That's good," Blair said, letting a smile spread across his face. "That means I can go see him after all this."

Brian cleared his throat. "Um, Blair… about that? How you think he's going to feel about you when you bust his boyfriend?"

"Shit," Blair said softly. "Fuck, man, you would have to remind me of that, wouldn't you. Couldn't even let me savor the moment? Thanks." Blair pushed up from the table angrily, and felt Brian jerk him back down.

"You promised to keep your dick out of this bust, Blair. And that means your feelings too. Doesn't matter what you think you may or may not have with this guy, you got a job to do. And so do I." Brian tossed his souvenir dildo onto the table. "You think I'm happy with this now? I kinda liked the idea of hooking up with Gates but that's not going to stand in my way. I'm going to bust this place before any more Golden gets pushed to any more schoolkids and so are you."

Blair sighed, and toyed with the drink in front of him. "You're right, Bri. I am keeping it out of the bust, it's just… this guy, Jim, he's incredible. He just sucked me right in the minute I saw him. Literally could not take my eyes off of him. I knew he was watching me, Brian, because he never took his eyes off me either. If you'd just have seen how intense he was. I don't understand it. But there it is. And then what Simon said… you can't tell me that Jim doesn't feel at least some of this too or else why did he react like that?"

Brian sighed. "I don't know, Blair. I don't know what to tell you. I just know that you're not thinking straight. You need to calm down and realize that what you're thinking of right now is the job. Is making an arrest. Then after that's done, and you're on your own time, you can come back and figure out what you're going to do with this Jim character."

"You're right, Brian. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blown up like that, but damn, man, I just… I wanna crawl into this guy and never come out." That revelation shocked Blair. "And I don't even know him. I just want to lose myself in this guy. And I think I could, too fucking easily, if he'd let me."

Rafe grabbed Blair's forearm and shook him. "Blair, I didn't see this guy. I don't know what connection you two made. But it sounds like you made one. But you can't let it get in the way of this. Take care of this first and then rely on that connection to pull him to you after the dust clears."

"You're right," Blair said for the third time, acknowledging his mistake. "First we take care of business. Then everything else will take care of itself."

"Exactly right. And who knows, maybe Simon and I will hit it off like you and Jim did."

Blair steepled his fingers as he turned to watch the door. "Only if you're lucky, Brian." As he watched, Lee walked through the door, and scrambled to field a phone call around the drink just pushed into his hand. "Be right back." Blair sauntered over to the bar, close enough to tune into Brackett's conversation.

"I'm sorry, baby, I got a call from Sammy about a half hour ago, right after I got back. She's not going to be down to close tonight so I have to." A pause. "Sure you won't be asleep?" Another pause, and Blair watched the smile spread across Lee's face. "That's the best news I've heard tonight. See you after closing, babe. Here's Sy."

Blair flashed a grin at Sy as he followed Lee. However, as Lee went into the executive office, Blair ducked into the men's room and called Brian on his cell phone. "Bri, it's me. Lee just ducked into his office; have you seen the Queen come in yet?"

"No, we haven't. But we got a team outside, and I alerted them to be watching for her to arrive any time now. Your buddy just pulled up."

"Kincaid?"

"Who else? How about getting your ass out of the bathroom and out here?"

"Okay, just let me finish my shit…"

"Too much information, Sandburg. Just get out here."

Blair hung up the phone and started out the stall as Simon walked in. "Kid. We need to talk. You want to bust this place, go ahead. But the dancers, we're clean. We come in, we dance, we go home. You bust Lee, that's okay. You bust the Queen, that's good too. They've been pushing the crap through this club a long time. And before you get your ass in a wad, no, nobody else knows. Just me. I kept my mouth shut because of Jim. I just got off the phone with him and he's at home waiting for Brackett. You do it, you do it now."

"Because of Jim? He's in on it too?" Blair felt a chill spread inside.

"Are you stupid? No. Because Jim's been living with Lee. He has no idea where Lee's money comes from, Kid."

"My name is Blair."

"I know. I don't want Jim to get hurt by this. And if he does, I'm holding you responsible."

"I don't want him hurt either, Sy. How'd you know?"

"That you were a cop?" Simon shrugged, then reached into his pants and pulled out a badge of his own. "Takes one to know one."

Blair inspected the credentials. FBI. "You're Fed?"

"Only until Lee Brackett is in jail. Then I'm done. Which is why I'm here. I know these guys, kid, and they're not bad. Some of them just need breaks. But none of them are wrapped up in this." He took his credentials back from Blair and secreted them away. "Tell your friend Brian to look for me."

Blair shook his head as the black man slipped out of the door. Then he hurried back to the table where Brian was sitting, staring at Garrett Kincaid. Blair nodded at Kincaid, and then took the seat beside Brian. "Saw your friend Sy in the men's room. Said to tell you to be on the lookout for him."

Brian couldn't quite hide the smile that spread across his face. "Looks like our actions about to start," Rafe continued, leaning forward. "I just got the call a minute ago that the Queen's on her way in."

Blair looked towards the open door, and saw two people coming into the door; Queen Sammie and… "oh shit," Blair whispered. Jim.

Samantha beelined towards the office, followed closely by Jim. Blair got up to go after Jim, and Brian jerked him back down again. "No!" Brian hissed in his ear. "Wait for Kincaid's signal."

Blair clenched his fists and waited, shifting from foot to foot. Jim disappeared down the hallway after Sam, but as Blair angled himself to look in the office, Jim was waiting out in the hallway. But, before Lee came out, Simon headed Jim off and walked him back to the backstage area, and his shoulders drooped slightly in relief. "Um, Brian… I think we should very quietly go about getting the people out of here. Not that there's that many people in here, but if anything goes wrong, we don't need the possibility of collateral damage here."

"Right." Brian reached into his pocket and brought out his walkie talkie. "Yeah, I need a couple of guys in here, just two of you, in street clothes, and we got to quietly clear this place out."

"Roger that," came over Brian's walkie, and he sat back, waiting for the two guys to come in.

When they did, Brian looked at Blair. "If I leave you at this table you're not going to do anything stupid, are you?"

"This is me we're talking about here."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Brian said, watching in silence as Sy came up behind Blair.

"Trust me," Blair said, unaware of who was behind him.

"Coming from you, that sounds like the two scariest words in the English language," Sy said smoothly. Then he turned his attention to Blair as he looked at Brian. "Kid, why don't you talk to your friends there while I talk to Brian."

Blair almost knocked his chair over getting up.

~ * ~ * ~

As soon as Jim hung up the phone, he got dressed in record time and grabbed his jacket and keys, choosing his motorcycle to drive to the Closet. He parked it beside Lee's Jeep, and tucked his helmet under his arm, walking into the club. He saw Samantha walking in, and he sprinted to get the door for her.

"Hello, Jim." Her voice was cool with disdain.

"Samantha. I talked to Lee, he said you wouldn't be coming down tonight?"

"Yes, well, I had other plans fall through. I suppose you're here to see him?"

"Yeah, I am."

"You will just have to wait, I have some business with him myself." She swept away from him, and he followed down the hallway, but got the door to the office slammed in his face.

He raised his hand to knock on the door, and he was intercepted by Simon. "Sy? What's going on?"

"Jim. We need to talk." He pulled his friend away from the office and back into the dressing area. The last act of the night was on and the backstage was surprisingly empty. "Jim, I think you and Lee need to talk."

"Talk?"

"Yes, talk. You know what that is, when you move your jaw and noise comes out your mouth?"

"Smartass."

"I haven't even got started yet. Look, Jim, you're miserable doing this."

"Yeah, but I only got about half of what I need."

"So find another job, Jim. You'll be able to use this half to pay off the hospital in payments while you're working somewhere else, finding yourself a better place."

"You think I should leave the Club and break up with Lee."

"I'm saying you should take a look at all your options. I saw how you reacted to the kid, and that made you even more miserable. I think you like him, and I know he likes you. And I think he might be what you need, a good thing to help you get back on track. Jim, I know you care about Lee, but I think it's time you started doing something that's good for you now. And that means getting out of the dancing business and into something more… you."

"Oh yes, I could just go back to the Army, right. I'm sure they'd love to have a fag stripper back in their ranks."

"Jim--"

"I knew when I started doing this, Sy. I knew when I started dancing that I'd probably be stuck doing it the rest of my life, or at least as long as my physique holds out. I'm getting to the high side of that now, and then maybe I'll think about something else."

Simon sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere with Jim and he knew the bust was coming soon. "Stay here, Jim. Wait here for me."

"Sure."

Simon disappeared out of the backstage area, and Jim studied his reflection in the mirror. He went through the drawers of the dresser, and pulled out a small black notebook, and flipped through it, scanning the pages. A diary of sorts, Jim kept a log of the money he made and how he felt at the end of the night. He read each page, and realized that the more money he made, the worse he felt about himself. Tonight's total hadn't been logged in, it was still locked up in the safe, but he could definitely pen in the feelings. He'd been writing for twenty minutes, when Lee burst into the dressing room, wild-eyed.

~ * ~ * ~

Simon settled at the table beside Brian, leaning in closely. He enjoyed the contact but had other things on his mind. "Brian. I caught Blair in the men's room earlier and told him and I think that I should tell you too." He passed the worn leather wallet over to Brian, and smiled when the handsome young man's jaw dropped. "That's temporary credentials, they'll expire at the end of this bust. I'm here to make sure Lee Brackett gets what's coming to him."

Brian slid the leather back. "So you're a cop pretending to be a dancer?"

"I'm a dancer doing the right thing," Simon said, hiding the badge away. "And when this thing is done, I'll just be a dancer again. I just thought you should know." He got up to rejoin Jim in the back.

"Sy?"

"Yeah?"

"Give me a week or two to clear this up?"

Simon smiled. "You got my number, Bri."

Brian was about to nod in response when he saw the club had been cleared, and Garrett's signal. "Blair!"

"I saw it, let's go!"

Blair shifted into his serious cop mode as he and Brian blocked the small hallway that was the only escape from the room. "All right, this is the police, I want everybody to drop their weapons!" He kicked down the door and then spun as a hail of bullets came out of the doorway. "Kincaid!"

It was too late; Garrett had been shot by Lee as soon as the first words had come out of Blair's mouth. Blair could see him inside as the bullets stopped while the shooters inside reloaded. "Brackett! Samantha! Drop your guns and come out slowly!"

No more bullets came out of the room, and Blair peeked in, seeing a wall panel slam back into place. "Shit! Brian, seal the goddamned building, seal the block! There's a door in the back! I'll call in as soon as I find out where it leads!" Blair took off through the door and in pursuit.

"It goes to backstage," Simon said from his spot in the middle of the club.

Blair saw where they were headed as soon as he saw the cloth-of-gold lame curtains.

"All right, drop the gun." Blair recognized Lee Brackett's voice as he emerged from the hallway. "I said, down."

Oh, shit, Jim. Blair dropped his gun as soon as he saw Lee's arm holding the gun to the back of Jim's head. "Okay. It's down. Just let him go."

"Not until we're out of here," Lee countered. "We're going to walk out and down the stage and out the front door. If anyone tries to stop us, I'll blow his head off."

"Lee, what are you doing?" Jim asked softly. "I don't know what's going on but it can't be that bad."

"Shut up, Jim. Shut up and move." He cuffed Jim in the back of the head, earning a look of amazement and disgust from Jim as he looked at Lee. "Don't look at me like that, Jim."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I need to get out."

"No… I mean, to me."

"Because you're here, Jim. Because I can take you with me and we'll be together after we escape them," he said, indicating Blair with the gun. "You want me to shoot him, Jim?" Lee asked, pressing feather-light kisses on the side of Jim's face. "I know he's the one who upset you, I can get rid of him and you'll never have to worry again."

Jim shook his head, swallowing hard. "No, don't shoot anyone else. Just get rid of the gun, Lee, and we'll go."

Lee blinked, and raised his hand to rub at the red spot on the back of Jim's neck. Blair watched closely, panic rising. "I… I can't do that, Jim. There's a lot of police around here, we need the gun to get out."

"No we don't. Let me have the gun, Lee, and you and I will walk out together, okay? Just you and me." Even though Jim was terrified, he was surprised to see that his hand didn't shake as he held it out for the gun. "Just give me the gun, okay? Give me the gun and we'll be cool."

Lee held out his hand and dropped the gun into it, and then dropped to the floor as a gunshot rang out. Jim dropped the gun as he turned around to see Samantha pulling the hammer back. "I don't think you can talk me out of my gun, Jim."

Jim knelt beside Lee, who was barely breathing. Blair looked at the gun that Jim had dropped, only a few inches out of reach, right beside his own gun. "Samantha. Put the gun down."

"Or what? You'll arrest me? I don't think so." She moved the gun from Jim to Blair. "All right. Step over here. Slowly. That's it," she said, as Blair moved over to her. "That's it. Now, lead the way out."

Blair walked deliberately by Jim, who was letting Lee's body slide slowly to the floor. Jim's hand shot out and grabbed Samantha's ankle and jerked. The woman pinwheeled wildly, and Blair threw his weight into throwing her backwards as the gun went off again, the bullet flying wild and embedding into the wall. "BRIAN!" Blair yelled as he wrestled with Samantha, slamming her hand against the floor repeatedly and finally breaking her hold on the gun. Brian and the backup team came in through the stage entrance, blossoming out into a triangle with their guns pointed at Samantha and Jim. "No, not him, get them on her," Blair said, waving the guys over to Samantha as she was cuffed. Blair rolled off and towards Jim. "Jim--"

"Don't, okay?"

Blair pulled off his jacket and passed it to Jim, who wordlessly spread it over Lee's face and upper chest. Brian came and put his hand on Blair's shoulder as Simon moved to Jim's side and quietly pulled him away.

~ * ~ * ~

Two Months Later

Blair had gotten a phone call on his voicemail. "Tail End. 6:30. Be there, kid."

From the greeting, Blair knew that the phone call had come from Simon. Simon Banks--the real name of dancer Sy Gates--had been seen with Brian Rafe all over town. A few weeks after the bust had gone down, Blair had attended a small gathering with his best friend and Simon where Brian had officially come out of the closet. He and the black man had been inseparable ever since, and Brian was talking to Blair about serious long-term commitment.

After those same few weeks, Blair had asked Simon about Jim, and Simon had given the young man Jim's new address and telephone number. Blair had studied the information on the card, memorized it, and then never followed through on it, instead crumpling the paper in his hands and stuffing it in his pocket.

During the time that followed, Simon made a point of mentioning Jim whenever possible to the young man, and even Brian had goaded Blair to try and see him again, but he'd refused. The simple rejection of "Don't, okay?" had stuck with the cop, depressing him to the point of taking the mandatory week off and three sessions with the headshrink just to get the time off. Now that he was back at the job, he was the same as he ever was, just always thinking about Jim.

Then, this message from Simon. Tail's End was a gay club that just started having dancers. 6:30 would be after his shift, and he was sure that Simon knew that courtesy of Brian Rafe. Then the telephone rang, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Sandburg."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line, and Blair almost hung up. "Blair?"

Blair's breath caught in his throat. "Jim?"

"Yeah. I tried calling you at home but you weren't there. Simon gave me your number here." There was another long silence. "I didn't mean to wait so long. It's just… one day I looked at the calendar and realized when it was."

"It's okay, Jim. Why call now, though?"

There was a final, long pause. "I just wanted to say sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for, Jim. We all did what we had to do."

"I know. I know you didn't want Lee to get shot." He cleared his throat. "I'll see you later, I hope."

"I hope so too, Jim."

He hung up, and sighed. Six thirty was a long way off.

~ * ~ * ~

Finally Blair walked into Tail's End. Tail's End was one of the classiest gay bars that Blair had ever been to, and he could not figure out why Simon and Brian would be asking him to meet them here, of all places. Dressed in a snazzy black suit, the bright green shirt stood out in the ensemble as he reclined on the pillows that served for chairs to the low tables. "Evening, Brian. Simon, got your message."

"Obviously, since you're here," Simon drawled, flicking his eyes up and down Blair's ensemble. "A bit overdressed for the occasion, but here." Then he consulted his watch. "And punctual."

Brian grumbled as he passed a twenty over to his lover. "Figures. The one time I have money on you being late, you're on time."

Blair stuck his tongue out at Brian as he relaxed into the white cushions, taking a sip of the drink that had been waiting for him. "Guess who called me today?"

"Jack?" Brian asked, humoring Blair as he too checked his watch. Jack Pendergrast had retired shortly after the Queenpin bust, and Blair still kept in touch with the old man.

"No. Jim."

Blair missed the look that Brian and Simon shared. "How's he doing?" Simon asked. "I haven't seen him in a few days."

"He sounded okay. We didn't talk that long, he just said he was sorry about waiting so long to call and hoped that we could see each other soon."

"And you didn't happen to set up a time to see him?"

Blair flushed. "Um… no."

Brian reached over and used a gentle handful of Blair's hair to turn his face to the stage. "Then I think we can fix that for you."

Blair looked around in surprise as Jim Ellison walked out on the stage in front of their table. He was dressed in almost the same nurse's costume he'd worn the night that Blair had first seen him dancing, wearing the same smile. The music was different, but Blair didn't notice as Jim started dancing, his eyes still only on Blair.

The hat went sailing into the scant audience again, but this time, Jim peeled off his garter and threw it at Blair, unerringly hitting the young cop in the chest with it. Then Jim did a small spin, to help with the shimmying off of the white hot pants, and when he turned around, Blair had used the white garter to tie back his hair. The dress tonight turned out to be two tear-away pieces, and the deep V-cut blouse was the first to fly off, and then was followed by the short skirt which revealed Jim's white sock-on-a-string as the music hit a crescendo. The gyrations and the catcalls it caused almost overwhelmed the music as the few people in the audience paid their appreciation to Jim's dance as he moved along the stage.

Then the voice of the house over the PA system. "Gentlemen, Tail's End is saddened to inform you that this was the last performance of our favorite dancer, Jim!"

A spate of applause went up in acknowledgement of the announcement, and Jim slipped backstage, quickly changing into a pair of real jeans and a turtleneck before slipping out to join Blair and the others at their table. He greeted Simon with a bear hug, and shook Brian's hand heartily, as though they'd been friends… for months. As Blair looked from Brian to Simon, he got the distinct impression that he'd been set up. "Brian?"

"Yes, Blair?"

"Did I miss something?"

"I'm sure you did," replied Brian, laughter sparkling in his eyes.

"How about letting me in on it?"

Simon took pity on him. "Jim didn't want to see you again until he was done with his career," he said, throwing a glance at the big man. "Brian and I tried but we couldn't convince him otherwise. So, we worked on convincing him to end early. This is the best we could do."

Blair shifted his gaze to Jim. "You didn't want to see me?"

Jim shook his head. "Not while I was doing that. That's not who I am, not really. I… think I want you to see the real me."

"The real you?" Blair asked softly, losing himself in the warm pools of Jim's eyes.

"The real me." Jim slipped his hand across the table, and took Blair's hand in his. "If you're willing, that is."

Simon nudged Brian. "I think that's our cue."

"I think you're right." Brian cleared his throat. "Blair, Jim? We're getting ready to head out for dinner, you guys want to come with us--oof!" he finished, rubbing his ribcage from where Simon had poked him.

"No thanks," Blair said softly.

Jim echoed that. "But thanks for the offer."

"You do know it is raining out?" Simon reminded Jim. "Be careful on that motorcycle when you go home."

"Don't worry, Sy, I'll get him home," Blair said, not taking his eyes away from Jim's.

Simon turned and walked with Brian out the front door, sharing a long kiss before raising the umbrella. "Do you really want to go out to dinner?" Simon asked, nipping Brian's ear with sharp bites.

"Umm… are you going to feed me something else?" he asked, his voice catching in his throat.

"Of course," Sy answered, turning the nips into a kiss to his lover's throat.

"Then we can skip dinner and go home."

"I thought you'd see it my way." The kiss moved from throat to mouth.

Meanwhile, Blair and Jim were still sitting alone at the table, still staring at each other.

"You know, Jim, the first time I saw you…"

"Yeah, I know. Me too."

"You too?"

"Think that's why you upset me so much that night." Jim realized his thumb was rubbing over the space between Blair's thumb and forefinger. "But yeah… definitely me too."

Blair felt the warm, steady rubbing and blinked slowly. Suddenly this place was too public. He wanted Jim somewhere they could touch, cuddle, talk… make love. "You want to… go somewhere?"

"Where are we going, Blair?"

"My place. I got a loft on Prospect; we can get dinner on the way over there?"

"Sounds fantastic," Jim said, rising to his feet as Blair did. He followed the young man out to the overhang, and Jim picked up a red and blue golf umbrella, opening it to shield them both from the rain. "Blair?" Blair turned to acknowledge the question as he sorted through his keys but as he turned he found Jim's face level with his own and he took the kiss that was being offered to him. His hand slipped to the back of Jim's neck to draw him closer, and suddenly Blair felt himself slightly lifted against the wall of the club as he devoured Jim's mouth. Their bodies fit together, even when pressed against a cold stone wall, and Jim's warmth was all that Blair noticed. Finally Jim broke the long kiss, gasping softly. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Blair searched Jim's now-worried eyes for answers.

"I didn't--I didn't exactly ask if you wanted to kiss me," he answered, dropping his eyes. "I just sort of assumed you would."

"I did, didn't I?" Blair asked with a smile, tapping his finger across Jim's lips. "Stop worrying, Jim. I want to see what can happen with us, okay? I'm hooked on you. You're hooked on me. Kissing is always a good move when you're hooked on someone." He demonstrated that with another kiss to Jim's pliant mouth. "See?"

"Yeah, I see." He wrapped his arm around Blair, and felt the other man relax against him.

"C'mon. We need to get moving, big guy. I have plans for tonight."

"I can take my bike home--"

"That would sort of defeat the purpose of the plans," Blair chided softly. "You're a big part of my plans."

"Oh."

"Yeah, Oh. Now come on, Jim. Tell me what's wrong."

"You sure you're not upset with me for not calling?" Jim restlessly twined a lock of Blair's curls around his finger, as it had escaped from the garter holding it back. "I wanted to."

"I wanted you to call," Blair admitted softly. "I was a little upset when you didn't. But Brian told me you needed time. I just didn't know for what."

"To get rid of all this," Jim said, sweeping his arm at the club. "I had bills to pay off, big ones from the hospital. I needed the money, and tonight, with my last paycheck and what I put back before the bust, I finally got enough to quit. So I did, because… I wanted to have a chance with you."

"You would have had a chance with me anyway, Jim. I wouldn't have turned you down."

"Then I'm sorry I wasted these months." He leaned down and nuzzled Blair's neck. "You smell good."

Blair chuckled huskily. "Me too. But we can make up for it." He caught Jim's cheek and looked into his eyes. "I'm not questioning it, big guy. I just know we both feel it."

Jim nodded, and followed Blair to the Corvair ragtop.

~ * ~ * ~

Later, Jim sat on the couch with Blair tucked beside him. "I love this view," the ex-dancer said softly.

"Thanks… it's why I bought the place. Usually looking at it makes me feel restless, like I need to go and find something, but tonight… it's soothing." He watched as rain sheeted down the windows. The silence was comfortable for a few moments, but when Blair looked back at Jim, he could see that something was very wrong. "Jim?" he said, shaking the other man softly. "Jim, hey, man, what's wrong?" He picked up Jim's hand and started rubbing it. "Jim?"

Slowly, at the touch of skin against skin, Jim's head shook from side to side. "Wow. That hasn't happened in a while."

"You've had episodes like that before? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"What happened?"

"I was watching the rain sliding down the windows, smelling your hair… and then everything just… it sort of whited out."

"Whited out?"

"Yeah. Not a blackout, because nothing went dark. It was bright, just like a bright, white light. Right before it happened, I could smell everything in your shampoo, Blair, even a little bit of Simon's cigar smoke."

"Cigar?"

"Yeah, he smoked before you came in. You sat down in the middle of it and I could still smell it on your hair."

"That's amazing."

"Yeah, I know. It's why I went to the doctors at the hospital but nothing was wrong with me. You're the first person that's been able to bring me out of one of those, though. I just heard you talking to me when I couldn't hear anything else."

Blair nodded. Something about what Jim was telling him sounded familiar, a book he'd read before maybe. He'd chase down the reference later. "Maybe we should go upstairs and let you lie down," he suggested softly, turning to draw patterns on Jim's turtleneck.

"That sounds good to me," Jim said, rising from the couch. "You sure you don't mind me intruding on your bedroom?"

"Not at all; I think I'd like you to be there."

Jim blushed as he climbed the stairs. Blair made him feel good; made him feel desired and not just wanted. Lee had never been able to make Jim feel desired. The pang didn't come when he thought of Lee, and he smiled. That was just one of the little signs that had told Jim that now was the time to see Blair again. All those thoughts churned in his head as he got to the top of the stairs. Blair was right behind him, and with a gentle push, he sent Jim towards the blue-sheeted bed. Jim didn't hesitate again, and he pulled off his turtleneck and shoes as he stretched out on Blair's bed. He breathed deeply; it smelled of the young man.

Blair joined him on the bed, and Jim rolled onto his side. "You still have something of mine," Jim teased.

Blair's hand went to the garter still holding his hair back--he'd almost forgotten. "Then let me give it back." Then he looked at Jim. "You really should have your legs bare--so I can judge how far up to slide it."

Jim smiled sensually as he slipped off the jeans. Blair was not prepared for a commando Jim, but he shook the shock off and straddled Jim, sliding the garter up his left thigh, sliding it up to where it rested almost flush against Jim's balls, copping a quick feel of satiny steel. Jim gasped, and arched eagerly into Blair's touch. Suddenly though, he blushed and tried to turn away. Blair stilled him with a hand. "Jim?"

"I just wish… that…"

"What?" Blair asked, resting his hands on Jim's chest.

"I just wish that I could be… you know… for you."

"Be what, Jim?"

"I wish you could have been my first," Jim finally confessed in a red-faced rush.

Blair smiled softly. "You're not my first either, Jim. Does that bother you?"

"No, of course not."

"Then why should it bother me?" Blair leaned over to nuzzle his unsure paramour. "We've both been in relationships before… that just means we know what mistakes we made and what to avoid."

A smile spread across Jim's face. "Relationship? Not just a one night stand?"

"I told you before, Jim, I'm hooked on you. You're hooked on me. I think we got the potential to make this thing work." He sealed that promise with a kiss. "Won't always be easy, may not always be fun, but I think we can make it."

Jim opened his legs and let Blair slide between them. "Blair… I want to make it with you. I want to make us work. It's… been a while since I've had a relationship work, and I think you're right, I think it could be us."

"Glad you're finally seeing things my way," Blair said softly, kissing his big man again. Jim arched into him, rubbing their torsos together as the cop swiftly divested himself his black slacks and green shirt, then sending white briefs sailing behind them. Naked skin touched naked skin, and Jim's leg rubbed against Blair's. "What do you want, big guy?"

"I want you, Blair. Inside me, all the way." He held Blair's eyes as he said that. "Body and heart."

Blair's breath caught in his throat. "That's where I want to be, man, as deep inside you as I can possibly be." He reached into the bedside drawer and brought out a tube of lubricant and a package of condoms.

Jim caught his wrist. "I'm allergic to latex; I have the worst reaction in the world to it. I'm clean, Blair, I promise, I can show you my pedigree if you need it."

"Pedigree?" Blair asked, momentarily mystified.

"My test paper, Blair, that proves it."

"That's not a pedigree, Jim, that's just results." He rubbed Jim's chest to calm him. "If you're allergic to latex and clean, then we don't have to use the condoms. I'm a cop, it's my business to be clean."

"I know," Jim said shyly. He maneuvered himself under Blair, lifting himself and pulling the pillows to prop himself up and display himself to his new love as the young man anointed himself with lube.

Blair looked down at Jim's body opened to him, and smiled softly. Jim was just as eager for their union as he was. He moved into position, slick fingers stretching Jim's passage before resting the head of his cock against it. Slowly he pushed forward, and Jim's hands came to his chest, finally feeling free enough to touch Blair as his body slowly accepted the thick cock that invaded him. "Oh, Jim…" he'd never expected the older man to be so tight.

Jim's strong fingers worked and kneaded the hard nubs that stood out on Blair's chest, using them to half pull the young man down so that their bodies touched, mouths sealing together in a fiery kiss as Blair started to move carefully. "Fuck me," Jim whispered into Blair's mouth, his tongue teasing the underside of the young man's lip as he whispered. "Mark me, Blair, make me yours."

Blair's thrusts became faster, more savage, and Jim's body rocked up to meet each one, the breathy cries and moans of his lover encouraging him on. It was a battle to thrust, Jim's clinging tightness held to his cock, not wanting to let go the newfound love each touch brought him. Blair wrenched himself out, slamming back home as Jim seemed to be getting tighter and tighter with each thrust. Resting his forehead against Jim's cheek for a moment, Blair bit down on the skin that connected Jim's jaw to his ear, and sucked hard as he felt the big man trembling beneath him. A split-second later, Blair felt an impossible clench around his cock and found himself imprisoned in Jim's ass as the big man's body shuddered a second time, his seed spilling between their bodies.

Blair shouted as his trapped cock was finally released and his own seed came spilling out, scalding Jim inside as he clutched tightly at his larger lover. "Jim…" Blair found his mouth taken in a hard, delving kiss. "Jim!" he said breathlessly after the kiss had been broken.

"I know, Blair. I felt it too."

"Intense."

"More intense than anything I've ever felt."

"Me too."

"Blair?"

"Yeah, Jim?"

"You think this is what love feels like?"

"I hope so, Jim. I really hope so."

The End

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Acknowledgements: Thanks to Patt for the beautiful cover, to Lisa for being the Queen *g* and to Mary, Angelise, and Rogue who all helped with their input and beta-revisions. Sy Gates is brought to you courtesy of Angelise in fact. This is for everyone who thought I defected to another fandom. :-P