"He's so tiny, Grace," William Ellison said, looking down at his son for the first time.
"He's perfect," his wife replied, staring in rapt fascination at the small child in her arms. "He's got your father's eyes."
"And your mouth." William ran his fingers over the mouth in question. "I've never seen anything so beautiful. Well, except for our wedding day when I saw you coming down the aisle." Grace smiled up at her husband, who leaned over and dropped a chaste kiss on the exhausted woman's lips. They turned their heads as one when the door to the hospital room opened, admitting the doctor that had just helped them deliver the precious child. "Is everything alright, Doctor?" William asked, wanting to make sure that no complications had come up with either mother or child. Even though the birth had been a relatively easy one, he knew enough to know that things didn't always go so well.
"Everything's fine," Doctor Ashton assured them. "Both mother and son are perfectly healthy. And we were correct in our original assumption."
"You mean," Grace looked up at her husband, hope in her eyes. William's eyes matched her own.
"All of the tests indicate that he does possess the Sentinel gene," Ashton continued. "Of course, we're going to have to wait a few months to get a better idea of how strong his senses will be, but from what they showed in our preliminary tests, we have every reason to believe that he may be one of the strongest Sentinels on record."
"Oh, William," Grace placed a gentle kiss on the top of her son's head. "A Sentinel."
"Just like his grandfather," the elder Ellison said, joining his hand with Grace's. William continued to look at the doctor. "Will he be put on the list for potential Guides?"
"Of course, although we usually don't start truly looking until the Sentinel is at least two or three."
"Why not?"
"Because, although the senses are still there and the child is online, there is nothing that the Guide can do for them. Besides, during those first years, it more important that a child bond with his parents than a Guide," Doctor Ashton explained. "The Guide's job is to help his Sentinel get a grip on his senses. To help him ground himself when things get out of control. The Sentinel still needs to know the normal, day to day things, that other children have to learn. That's a parent's job."
"What's the normal procedure for finding our son's Guide?" William wanted to make sure he had all the facts regarding his son's life. While it was commonly known that Sentinel's, people with heightened senses, existed there wasn't a whole lot of information available on the pairing of the Sentinel with his Guide, the person who helped him balance those senses. All that was known was that as soon as a child was born, their blood was tested to see if it carried the gene and, along with a few other tests, it was determined how strong the child's abilities could be. A Guide was found the same way.
"It's relatively simple, really," Doctor Ashton pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down. "Your son's test results will be put in the worldwide data base that is used to keep track of Sentinels and Guides. That database will then search through those that have the Guide gene and look for the one that matches with his."
"What do you mean by matches?"
"You see, for each Sentinel there is a specific Guide, which is determined by something in their DNA sequence. Science being what it is today, had isolated those genes and that's what helps us determine which Guide belongs with which Sentinel. Unfortunately there is a drawback."
"What?" Grace and William looked at each, worried that something could still be wrong with their son. "There is no guarantee of when exactly your son's Guide will be active. He could be the same age and him. He could be older or he could not have even been born yet, if at all."
"What happens if he never finds his Guide?" William asked, fearful of the answer.
"Then you'll have to do your best to make him suppress his senses. Make it so that he doesn't use them or else he'll go insane. Luckily though, if the Guide is never born, the Sentinel's senses never go completely online. That doesn't happen until the Guide is born."
"My God," Grace whispered, clutching her child to her chest with one arm while squeezing her husband's hand with the other one's hand.
"But that's a one in a million possibility," the doctor hastened to assure them both. In all of the years that we've been researching Sentinels and Guides, there has only been two cases where they haven't come together and both of those were due to extenuating circumstances." Doctor Ashton, pulled down the blanket that shielded the young Sentinel's face, wide blue eyes looking directly into his soul.
"Young Jim here should have no trouble finding his Guide."
Eight Years Later
"Ms. Sandburg, I understand you wanted to talk to me," the doctor said upon entering the small room that was currently housing the young red head and her new born child.
"Yes, Doctor Jackson," Naomi Sandburg replied. "I would like to know when my son and I would be able to leave the hospital."
"Ms. Sandburg, you just gave birth a few hours ago. Your body isn't up to the stress of dealing with leaving yet," the doctor tried to explain. "Nor have the results of your son's testing being completed."
"What testing? I didn't authorize any kinds of tests to be performed on him," Naomi stated angrily. Doctor Jackson continued to look at her, his voice taking on a calming tone.
"Just routine testing, Ms. Sandburg. Nothing to worry about," the doctor assured her. "When the results to your son's blood work came through, it was noticed that he had the gene to be a Guide. We are...."
"My son is not a Guide," Naomi growled. The Doctor bristled at the harshness in her voice.
"All tests indicate that he does have the gene that..," Doctor Jackson tried to continue, only to be interrupted once again.
"I said my son is not a Guide. I don't care what your tests say," she hissed. "He will have nothing to do with Sentinels. He will live his life his way. He will not give it up to someone else."
"But Ms. Sandburg, just because your son's a Guide, it doesn't mean that he has to give up anything," the doctor tried to explain. "If anything, his life will be even richer. He'll be a part of something most people can only dream about." Naomi continued to shake her head furiously.
"No, I've seen how Guides are treated by their supposed Blessed Protectors," she continued, holding her son close to her, while trying to stand up. "I've seen how the Sentinel's expect their Guide's to always be by their sides, giving them no choice in what they can do with their lives. The Guide has to give up everything for the Sentinel."
"That's simply not true, Ms. Sandburg." Naomi finally got her feet on the floor, standing, albeit shakily, and stared down the man that had just helped her give birth to the boy that was in her arms.
"I am leaving now," she informed him, her voice leaving no room for anymore argument. "Whatever steps have been taken to register my son as a Guide will be stopped. His name will be removed from the list and you will never contact me again on this subject. Is that understood?"
"MS. Sandburg, you do realize that you are condemning the life of the Sentinel that is your son's match? If you would only think...."
"I said, is that understood?" The doctor sighed, knowing that there would be no point in arguing any further. "Then please see to the release forms. It's time I take Blair as far away from here as possible."
Part 2 - Two Years Later
"Hello, Mr. Ellison. I'm Jarod Parker," the man at the door introduced himself. "I talked to you earlier on the phone." William Ellison looked at the man in front of him, nodding his head in remembrance.
"That's right," he finally said. "You're from the Bureau of Sentinel and Guide Registration, correct?"
"Correct. May I come in?" William opened the door further, allowing the other man to enter his home. Jarod looked around the house, taking in the Sentinel friendly surroundings. Silk flower arrangements, muted colors and natural fiber furniture provided a comforting environment for a young Sentinel who had yet found his Guide and learned to control his senses. "You have a lovely home here."
"Thank you." William beamed at the compliment. It had taken quite a bit of their savings to make the house a home that was appropriate for raising their oldest son, but he thought it was more than worth it. William wanted nothing but the best for both of his sons and would do anything to make sure that they were happy. "Won't you please have a seat? Can I get you something to drink?"
"No, thank you," Jarod answered politely, taking a seat on the sofa. William could tell that he was nervous about something and was worried that something was wrong with his son. Both he and Grace were concerned because no Guide had been found for Jim yet, but they had been told repeatedly that it was normal. After all, Jim was only ten years old. Jarod's attention was drawn to a woman entering the room. William stood and greeted his wife with a gentle kiss on the lips.
"Grace, I would like you to meet Jarod Parker from Sentinel/Guide Registration. Mr. Parker, this is my wife, Grace Ellison," William introduced the two. Grace offered her hand, which Jarod took and kissed.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Parker," she said, sweetly.
"Please, call me Jarod, and the pleasure is all mine."
"Please sit down again. Don't let me interrupt you," she told him, acting ever the perfect hostess. "You're from Sentinel/Guide Registration, I believe my husband said." Jarod nodded his head. "I take it then, you're here about Jimmy. Has his Guide been found?"
"Yes," Jarod answered, but there was something in his voice that set off both of the Ellison's alarms off.
"That's a good thing, right?" Grace questioned, although her voice was worried. "I mean, it's what we've been waiting for. For Jim's Guide. Now Jimmy can learn how to really use his senses." William could see how upset his wife was getting. While she was excited about having a Sentinel for a son, she didn't have the experience he did in dealing with one. He took her hand in his, squeezing it gently to calm her down.
"Grace, let the man speak," he told her. William turned back to face Jarod. "You said that Jimmy's Guide has been found, but I get the feeling that there's a problem that you are telling us about."
"There is," Jarod informed them both, figuring at this point it would be better to just tell them everything. He opened the briefcase he had brought with him, pulling out a thin file. Setting the briefcase aside, he opened the folder and read from the contents there in. "Two years ago, a child was born. A boy. Through normal testing at birth, it was determined that he carried the Guide gene. Upon further analysis, it has been discovered that he would be the Guide for your son, James."
"But? I remember from stories I've heard regarding other Sentinel and Guide pairings, that it doesn't normally take two years to match them once they are registered," William stated.
"This is true, unfortunately there was a problem with this particular child."
"What kind of problem?"
"His mother, upon learning of her son's disposition to be a Guide, refused to allow further testing or allowing his name to be released to the registration list."
"What?" William Ellison yelled. "What do you mean, she refused to all him to be registered?"
"According to what we were told by the doctor who spoke to her, the woman in question stated that she did not want her son to be a Guide," Jarod explained. "He said that she didn't want her son to be involved with anything that had to do with Sentinels. That she wanted her son to live his own life, not the life of someone else."
"Didn't the doctor tell her what her refusal would do to Jimmy?" William questioned, calming down slightly, knowing that it would do no good to yell at the Jarod. "Doesn't she care that she is condemning another child to a life of torment because he can't control his senses?"
"He tried," Jarod replied, "but she wouldn't be swayed. She was absolute in her denial of her son's destiny."
"What does this mean for Jimmy?" Grace quietly asked, tears streaming down her face. Jarod sighed; knowing that what he was about to tell the two people in front of him would hurt them even more.
"What it means is that you are going to have to force your son to repress his senses. Jim is going to have to forget that there is anything special about him. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it will be easy, it won't be. But it has to be done. If Jim continues to use his senses to their full potential, without the benefit of his Guide to ground him, he will end up in a mental institution, or, worse case scenario, zone to the point where he can't come out of it and die."
"Oh God," Grace gasped, turning her head into her husband's shoulders. Quiet sobs could be heard coming from her and Jarod could tell that William was barely holding his own tears in.
"I'm so sorry."
"Is there anything that can be done to convince this woman that she has to allow her son to be Jimmy's Guide," William pleaded. "If only we could talk to her, maybe she would change her mind."
"Unfortunately we don't even have her name. It was one of the conditions she gave us when she checked out of the hospital. We only have her son's DNA test." Jarod packed the file away and stood, signaling for William to remain seated. "For what it's worth, I am sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help make this easier." Jarod took a business card out of his suit pocket, placing it on the table in front of him. "This is my number, both home and office. If there is ever anything that you need. Any questions you need answered, please feel free to contact me."
Jarod turned to leave the home, looking back once more at the grief stricken pair behind him. "My prayers, and the prayers of everyone at Sentinel/Guide Registration are with your family. Good luck."
Part 3 - Two Years Later
Cascade, Washington
"James Joseph Ellison, front and center," William yelled from the bottom of the staircase. Beside him stood his nine-year-old son, Stephen. William's face was hard, his eyes no longer those of the warm and caring man that had been so excited at the birth of his children, especially his eldest who had been destined to be a Sentinel. Instead, William's face reflected the cold, hard man he had become when his wife had left him a few months after it had been discovered that the boy destined to be James' Guide would never know his son. Grace Ellison had tried her best to handle the fact that they were going to have to deny their son the life he deserved and, in the end, couldn't handle it. So, one night, while the boys were staying with some friends and William was out of town on business, she had packed her bags, leaving a note behind apologizing and telling William to take care of their sons and left. When William had arrived home the next day to only that note, his heart died. And, unconsciously, he decided that if Grace wasn't able to stay because of Jim, than it was the boy's fault and William set about to make sure he paid for that.
The boy in question, James, hesitantly made his way down towards where his father and brother stood. The twelve-year-old didn't know what he was supposed to have done now, but seeing the smug look on Stephen's face, he knew that he would be in trouble. His younger brother had made it his life's mission to punish Jim for their mother leaving and their father was more than willing to allow it.
"Yes, Father?"
"Stephen told me that you hit him, earlier today, because you overheard him talking to his friends about you. Is that true?" Jim looked over at his brother and then his father; his blue eyes showing the wariness that had appeared in them shortly after Grace Ellison had disappeared. "I said, is this true?"
"No, Father," Jim answered, but not fast enough causing his father to slap him. Jim fell backwards, unprepared for the strike, landing hard on the stairs behind him. Tears threatened to fall from the younger man's eyes, but he refused to give them release, knowing that would only anger his father even further.
"What have I told you about lying?" William hissed. "Now, why were you listening in on your brother's private conversation? You know better than that. I've told you time and again about spying on people."
"I wasn't spying, Father," James cried. "I didn't do anything wrong. I don't care what he told you. Stephen's lying."
"And why would he do that?"
"He hates me, that's why."
"How can you say that, Jimmy," Stephen wailed, leaning into his father for support. William wrapped his arm around his youngest son, offering him comfort in the face of his brother's allegations. "I love you."
"Yeah, right," James spat out. "Next you're going to tell me that you have some great ocean front property in Arizona you want to sell me. Cheap." Another slap was heard and James looked up at his father, no longer trying to stop the flow of tears that poured from his eyes.
"Stop that crying, young man," William ordered. "You're not a child. And apologize to your brother." James didn't say anything, only looked at Stephen with contempt in his eyes. William raised his hand as if to strike his son once more. "I said, apologize to your brother."
"Sorry," James mumbled, only loud enough to be heard by the other two. He hiccuped a few times as he forced his tears back, not wanting to anger his father any longer.
"That's better. Now I want you to go up to your room and sit there. You are to do nothing else," William ordered. "I want you to think about your actions today. I will have Sally bring you your dinner this evening but you are not to leave your room at all. And, as it's Friday, you may stay there the whole weekend. Now get out of my sight." James slowly stood and, with a last glimpse towards his father and brother, he made his way up the stairs.
When James got to his room, he didn't even bother turning on the light, the darkness that was there seeming to match the mood he was in. James sat on his bed and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to try and control his raging emotions. He thought back to a time, not so long ago, when there had been laughter and joy in the large house, instead of only anger and silence. He thought of his mother who had left, knowing that his father and brother blamed him for it. His father had told him that often enough. And, not for the first time, James wished that she had told him to leave instead of being the one to go, then, maybe, he would have had a chance at a life because the way things were looking, he didn't think the one he had would amount to much.
Flagstaff, Arizona
"You have a delightful son, Naomi," a deep voice chuckled as he watched the antics of a curious four year Blair Sandburg playing in the sand of the desert.
"Yes, my Blair is something special, Paul," she answered, smiling at the boy in question who paid them no attention whatsoever.
"All those destined to be Guide's are." Naomi's head snapped around to face the spiritual leader of the retreat she and her son were staying at. He looked at her in amusement. "Yes, I know that Blair is meant to be a Guide, Naomi. Even if you've never said anything."
"Blair is not a Guide," she stated, harshly. "He's my son. That's all."
"You would deny your son his destiny?"
"It is not his destiny," she almost yelled, stopping herself because of the people that were around them. "Blair's destiny is to be his own man, not whatever some genetic freak tells him it's to be. He will be free to choose what he wants to do."
"And you feel that by being a Guide to a Sentinel, that would somehow stop him from doing what he wants to do?" Paul didn't sound as if he was confused by Naomi's reluctance to allow her son to be a Guide. Her distaste of the Sentinel/Guide relationship was shared by many at the retreat.
"I've seen how those relationships work, Paul," she spat. "The Guide always having to be by his Sentinel's side. Not allowed to have a life of his own. Having to give up on whatever dreams they might have had. Having to leave everything and everyone they love behind. That is no life. And it certainly is not the kind of life that I want for my son."
"Naomi, I understand how you feel," Paul tried to placate her. "My sister was a Guide, as you well know, and I remember what it felt like to watch her leave to be with her Sentinel. But I also know how happy she was once the two of them were together. In her own words, she said it was like coming home. And her Sentinel was fifteen years older than her and happily married. He and his wife both welcomed Karina into their family. They encouraged her in her studies."
"And at what price? What did they ask of her in return?"
"Nothing," he told her. "They asked for nothing other than her help in guiding her Sentinel, which she was more than willing to give. He even walked her down the aisle last year when she got married to her husband."
"Then she was a lucky one." Naomi would not be dissuaded from her hatred of Sentinels. "One of the few." Paul shook his head.
"Naomi, this irrational hatred you have of Sentinels will only cause Blair pain in the long run," he stated. "What do you plan on doing when his Sentinel shows up. Eventually they will match Blair up to a Sentinel."
"No," Naomi denied. "Blair is not registered. I refused to allow it, only giving them permission to tell the Sentinel's family that there will be no Guide." Paul gasped. He had never heard of someone denying the Sentinel/Guide bond.
"You would deny the Sentinel his Guide? Surrender him to a life of misery and pain because of your hatred?"
"Easily," Naomi answered. "Why should my son be put into slavery so that someone else could live life peacefully? Blair will be no one's Guide." Paul looked at the red head sadly; realizing that, although she preaches peace and love, she was only filled with hatred.
"I believe it is time for you to leave this place, Naomi," he informed her, resigning himself to his failure at helping her realize she was wrong. Naomi was shocked.
"Paul, are you kicking me out?" He nodded his head.
"Take Blair and leave, Naomi. Your anger and hatred have no place here." Naomi's face became hard and she stood, calling for her son to join her. Paul reached out his hand, resting it on Naomi's arm. "I hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for, Naomi. Your feelings will only cause you and your son pain and your selfishness will cause the death of someone else." Naomi said nothing; grabbing Blair in her arms when he arrived and turning her back on the leader. Paul watched as they walked away, his heart heavy as he thought of the pain that everyone would have to deal with because of someone else's anger.
Part 4 - Six Years Later
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
"Hey, Jimmy, a group of us are heading down to South Street. How about joining us?" A handsome young man asked his roommate. "Do you plan on spending another Friday night alone in the dorms?"
"I haven't really given it much thought, Jay," Jim Ellison answered from his bed where he was busy studying the French book in front of him. I'll probably just hand here and study for my test on Monday. You know, the one that you're completely unprepared for." Jim laughed at the expression on his roommate's face, still surprised that he remembered how to do that. He had only been at Temple University for a month and, yet, he still felt that he had more fun in that month than he had in the past eight years back in Cascade since his mother had left.
Jason Mosley looked at his roommate, trying to figure out a way to get the young man to join him and his friends for a night out on the town. Jason didn't understand Jim. He was a friendly enough guy, always more than willing to help others when they needed it, for anything from a study partner to needing someone to call for a ride after a wild night of frat parties. But there was something below the smile that graced James Ellison's face. Something that made had made Jay's mother want to do nothing other than wrap the other boy in her arms and never let him go when she had met him that first weekend of school when they were moving into the dorms. Mrs. Mosley had said that she had never seen such a sad boy in her life and she wished that she could get her hands on whoever it had been that had caused him to be that way. She had made Jason promise to do his best to draw Jim into his circle of friends and out of the isolation that she was sure that Jim would surrender himself to. Unfortunately, that was proving harder than he had thought.
"Come on, Jimmy," Jason whined. "It's Friday night. You have all weekend to study. Surely one night won't kill you. Katie's coming with us." Jim looked up at the mention of Katie's name, his interest piquing, which was why Jason had mentioned her. "You know she would love to spend more time with you."
"I don't know Jay," Jim hesitated. "You know how I feel in crowds. I get all uncomfortable and I feel weird. I think it might be better if I just stay in tonight. Maybe another time." Jay sighed; knowing that there would probably not be anytime that his friend would feel comfortable about going out. He went over and joined Jim on his bed.
"Jim, man, what's wrong?" Jim looked over at his friend.
"Nothing's wrong. What would make you think something was?"
"Jim, you've been here a month and, other than one night when we convinced you to go get a late night snack with us at Pat's, you've refused to do anything with anybody," Jay reminded him. "Come on, man. You're a freshman in college. You're three thousand miles from your parents and anything that screams responsibility. Let loose for once. Enjoy life. What's the point in getting away from home if you're only going to hide from the outside world?"
"I'm not hiding," Jim argued. "I just haven't felt like going out. There's no crime in that last time I checked."
"No, there's no crime," Jay agreed. "But it's not exactly what I would call living either." Both young men went quiet, not sure what to say without making the other angry. Finally, Jay stood up, sighing, and walked towards the door to their room. "Look, Jimmy, all I want is for you to enjoy life. I don't know what happened back in Cascade. And don't say that nothing happened," he stated when Jim made a move to interrupt him. "Like I said, I don't know what happened, but I do know that it's affected you big time and I hate it. You need to get out every once in awhile. Don't lock yourself away. Get out with people." When Jim didn't say anything, Jay opened the door. "Just promise me that you'll at least thing about it."
"I will. I promise." Jay nodded his head and left the room, closing the door behind him. He wished that there was something that he could do to help him friend break out of whatever shell it is that was surrounding him, but knew that only time would be able to heal Jim.
Atlanta, Georgia
"Mom, can I ask a question?"
"Blair, sweetie, I've told you a hundred times you could ask me whatever you wanted to," Naomi Sandburg told her ten-year-old son as he entered the apartment they were currently renting on the outskirts of town. The two Sandburgs had been in Atlanta for five months and Naomi was beginning to feel the wanderlust that had often hit her since she was sixteen. She was already making plans to take a four-month cruise while her son was in school, arranging with some friends of hers for them to take care of Blair. All that was left was to tell her son that she was leaving.
"What are Sentinels and Guides?" Blair asked innocently, causing his mother to gasp and turn to him in shock.
"Why do you want to know about Sentinels and Guides for? Where did you hear about them?" Blair looked at his mother, wondering what was wrong. He had never seen her as scared or nervous as she appeared to be at that moment.
"We had a going away party today in class for Claire. Her family's moving to France because her younger sister is a Sentinel and that's where her Guide lives. You've never told me about Sentinels and Guides and I was just curious," Blair explained, as if it was only natural to wonder about something new. Naomi took a deep breath as she tried to think of what to tell her son.
"Well, honey, a Sentinel is someone who has five enhanced senses. Sight, sound, taste, touch and smell."
"Neat." Naomi shivered at the awed voice her son held.
"I guess," she said, non-commitedly. "These senses are something that the Sentinel is born with and they use it in their day to day lives. Many Sentinels become police officers or have something to do with the military because they have a tendency to want to protect people."
"That is like so cool," Blair said, his enthusiasm apparent. "Okay, by the way that Claire was talking, the Guide is someone important to the Sentinel. What is a Guide?" Naomi cursed the young Claire's family for having a Sentinel in it, even though she knew she shouldn't blame them. Having a Sentinel or Guide in your family was seen as a blessing most times.
"A Guide is someone who helps the Sentinel control his senses," Naomi explained. "Basically they stay by the Sentinel's side, giving up control of their lives to that person, so that the Sentinel can function in whatever capacity he decides."
"You make it sound like a bad thing," Blair said.
"It is, Blair," Naomi told him. "You have no idea. The Guide helps the Sentinel gain control of his senses. He's supposed to help ground the Sentinel so that the Sentinel can do whatever it is he wants, but he never gets any of the credit. The Guide's life is no longer his own. The Sentinel controls him. It's nothing more than slavery."
Blair tried to process what his mother was telling him. It didn't go along with what he had heard from the other kids at school that day. From what Claire had said, the Guide for her sister was actually much older than her. The Guide was going to be like a teacher for her, a mentor. How is it possible for someone that much younger than their Guide to control their life. It didn't make any sense to him. But, if that's what his mother said than it must be true, right? But then, why did it seem so wrong to him?
"Mom, did you ever meet a Sentinel or Guide?"
"No, son. I never have and I never plan to. And neither should you." Naomi looked at him and he could see the seriousness in her face as her eyes met his. "Promise me, son. Promise me that you'll steer clear of Sentinels and Guides. I don't want you to have anything to do with them." There was something in his mother's voice that made Blair agree, even if everything in his young body was telling him that she had to be wrong.
"I promise, mom." Naomi took his answer at face value, kissing him on the cheek.
"Good, baby. Now, I have some news for you. I'm going on a cruise for a few months and I've made arrangements for you to stay with Jody and Marty while I'm gone."
"When do you leave?" Blair asked, used to his mother's sudden departures. She's done it his whole life.
"I leave tomorrow, so I want you to go pack up your things for me, like a good boy."
"Yes, ma'am," Blair answered, heading towards his small sleep area, wishing that sometimes he had a normal family. He hated when his mother just took off, although she did it often. He loved her and just wished that she loved him enough to stay with him. But Naomi never did, telling him that she had to be free, just like he did, and that he should look upon it as to how lucky he was to have a parent who let him be his own person. Blair didn't want to be his own person, though. He wanted to be part of a family, like his friends. He hated how the other kids made fun of him because of the way his mother was raising him, but Naomi never wanted to hear about that. Blair sighed as he began to pack his things into his back pack, wondering if the ache he felt in his soul for a home would ever be satisfied because, until it was, he didn't think he would ever feel whole.
Part 5 - Two Years Later
San Diego, California
"Watch it," Blair heard a voice say at the same time he ran into a hard body. Hands grabbed onto his arms to steady the twelve-year-old and Blair looked up into the face of one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. "Are you okay, kid?"
"I'm fine," Blair mumbled, for once at a loss for words. "Just wasn't expecting to bump into anybody like that. Let alone someone as beautiful as you." The woman smiled at that, while Blair blushed. Her smile went even wider at that.
"Why, thank you, young man," she said. "I'm glad to know I still have it."
"Why, Miss Parker, have you replaced me already?" A teasing voice came up behind Blair.
"No one can replace you, my love," Miss Parker replied, her smile going from Blair to the man that had just come up. "This young man and I just ran into each other and he was paying the nicest compliment."
"You deserve all the compliments you can get," the man said, kissing Miss Parker. Blair watched, awed, at all the love that was apparent from that one kiss. Sure, he was no stranger to sex. Growing up with a mother like his, even at his young age, he knew enough to make a sailor blush, but he had never seen the kind of love that was between the couple. Miss Parker and the man that had just arrived finally remembered that they had an audience and broke apart, grinning like a couple of love struck teens.
"I take it you two are together," Blair stated, smiling.
"You could say that. This is my husband, Jarod Parker, and I'm Miss."
"Blair Sandburg," the boy said, putting his hand out to take, which Jarod did. "So you guys are married, huh? I can see it. You two are, like so in love."
"It's the best reason to get married," Jarod replied, standing behind Miss and wrapping his arms around her. "If you're planning on spending the rest of your life with someone, you should love them. It makes things a lot easier."
"I wouldn't know," Blair shrugged. "I never knew my Dad so I never saw my mom with anyone other than her boyfriends. And the other people in the retreats and communes we stayed in were more into the whole free love thing."
"Well, take it from us, when you're fortunate enough to meet the person you're meant to be with, you'll know it even if you start out as friends," Miss told him. "Jarod and I grew up together and, because of the circumstances, we had to spend a lot of time together, but we didn't mind."
"I think I knew I loved her, even then, bond or no bond," Jarod interrupted. "Even though her father didn't like the idea of her being my Guide, we didn't care."
"You're a Sentinel," Blair was awed. Finally, he was meeting a Sentinel and Guide pairing. Ever since his mother had told him about the destined pairs, Blair had researched them, reading everything he could get his hands on without his mother knowing about it. He remembered her reaction from two years before when he had inquired about them and he didn't want her to be angry with him.
"Yes," Jarod affirmed.
"And you're his Guide?" Miss Parker laughed at the stunned expression on Blair's face.
"Of course. You act like you've never run across a bonded Sentinel and Guide before."
"I haven't," Blair informed them. "I never even heard of them until a couple of years ago when one of the girls in my class was leaving so that her sister could bond with her Guide. My mother doesn't like the way the Guides have to give up their lives for the Sentinel's so she makes sure that we don't go anywhere near them."
"But what about..."
"Miss," Jarod quietly said, silencing his wife. She looked over at him, confused, only to find him shaking his head at her.
But he's a Guide, Jarod, Miss thought to her husband. One of the unknown traits of a bonded Sentinel/Guide pair was that they could read minds. It made it easier for one to know when the other was in trouble and helped them keep track of each other. And he's not bonded.
Yes, but if his mother never told him about Sentinels and Guides, I think that means that he's the one. Miss stared at her husband in shock.
You mean, Jimmy's.... Jarod nodded his head. Oh my God. We've got to do something. A Sentinel and Guide need each other, Jarod. They aren't complete until they're bonded.
I know, but the mother had made it perfectly clear that she didn't want her son to have anything to do with Sentinels. Our hands are tied. Until Blair turns eighteen and his records are unsealed, we can't say anything.
Blair watched as Jarod and Miss continued to converse through their thoughts. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he could tell that a silent conversation was going on. The curious young man had so many questions he wanted to ask the pair. Things that he couldn't find in books. Things like how the Sentinel's senses worked or what exactly was a Guide's job. Blair knew what his mother had told him, basically equating the Guide to a slave, but Blair didn't think that was the case. Nothing in his reading indicated that the Sentinel forced anything onto the guide.
"Is something wrong, Blair?" Jarod said, bringing Blair out of his musings. He blushed again at getting caught staring at the couple. He knew that staring was impolite but he couldn't help himself.
"Your relationship is nothing like the way my mother described the relationship between a Sentinel and Guide."
"Let me guess," Miss started, "you've been told that Guides have to give up whatever it is they want to do in their lives and do what it is the Sentinel decides. The Guide has to be the one to leave their family, no matter what, so that they can be available for the Sentinel twenty-four seven. That, no matter what, the Guide has to place the Sentinel's safety above everyone else's, including themselves. Did I miss any?"
"You missed the one where you're my glorified slave," Jarod helpfully added, earning himself a punch on the arm from his wife.
"I didn't forget that one. It's just that it hasn't happened yet and, if I were you, I wouldn't be planning on it happening anytime soon either."
"Yes dear," Jarod said sweetly. Miss glared at her husband, who kissed her nose. "Love you, Parker."
"Love you too, Jarod." The couple turned their attention back to Blair. "Blair, look, I don't know where you've been getting your information from." But I have a damn good idea, she added for her husband's benefit. "But a Guide and a Sentinel are equal partners in their relationship. Even when one is much younger than the other is, they are equals. They have to be. The Sentinel relies on the Guide to help anchor his senses and he can't do that if the Guide feels inferior. And the Guide relies on the Sentinel to keep him safe, no matter the danger. A Guide doesn't have to give up his life for a Sentinel. Their lives go hand in hand. Some get married, like Jarod and I. Other's are mentors, which is usually the case when one is older. Some just remain friends and have outside lives. But neither gives up their life for the other."
"But my mom said that Guides don't have any rights," Blair protested, not wanting to think his mother had lied to him but knowing that she did.
"No, if anything the Guide is in control of the relationship," Jarod answered. "The Sentinel needs their Guide to survive."
"What happens if a Sentinel doesn't have a Guide?"
"Then the Sentinel has to try and repress his senses," Jarod told him, shivering at that thought. "They have to forget they even have them. Without their Guide to help anchor them, a Sentinel with his senses online would go crazy in a matter of days and would probably kill himself."
"That sucks."
"It does indeed." And that's exactly what his Sentinel is doing because of the selfishness of your mother, little one. Miss fought back tears as she thought of the two young men that would never be complete.
"There you are, Blair Jacob Sandburg," Naomi called out as she came over to the trio. She looked over the couple that had been talking to Blair. "Blair, I thought we were going to meet for lunch fifteen minutes ago."
"Oh man, is it that late already," Blair groaned. "Sorry, Mom. I got talking to Jarod and Miss here and totally lost track of time." Blair turned to the couple. "Jarod and Miss, I'd like you to meet my mom, Naomi Sandburg. Mom, this is Jarod and Miss Parker." Blair didn't add that they were a bonded Sentinel/Guide pair, knowing that would probably set his mother off.
"Nice to meet you, ma'am," Jarod greeted her, taking in the appearance of the woman who would willingly force someone into a life of hardship because of an irrational hatred.
"You have a lovely son, Ms. Sandburg," Miss added.'
"Thank you. Blair, let's go. We have a lot to do today, so we need to get started." Naomi felt uncomfortable around the people that had befriended her son. There was something about them that she didn't like and she wanted nothing more than to get her son away from them.
"Okay. See you later, guys." Blair allowed himself to be pulled away by Naomi.
"Bye, Blair. Nice to meet you." Miss called after him. Once Blair and Naomi were gone, Miss allowed herself to be engulfed by her husband's arms. "Jarod, she'll never let him be a Guide."
"I know, sweetheart."
"Poor Jimmy. He doesn't deserve to go through life without his Guide."
"No, he doesn't and he won't." Miss looked up at her husband and recognized the glint in his eyes.
"Jarod Parker, what do you have planned?"
"Well, we now know the name of Jimmy's Guide. All we have to do is look for records of Blair Sandburg's birth to Naomi Sandburg and discover when he was born. Then, on his eighteenth birthday, when he becomes of age and no longer under his mother's care..."
"We can tell him about his destiny." Jarod grinned at his wife. "I love you, Jarod."
"Love you, too, Parker."
Part 6 - Four Years Later
Cascade, Washington
"Okay, everyone, that's it for this week. Remember, those of you who haven't turned in your papers during class, you have until the end of office hours today to get it in to me." Several groans could be heard from various areas of the room, causing Jim to laugh. "Get out of here and have a good weekend. See you all on Monday."
Jim Ellison turned towards the table where his students had deposited their papers on World War II and how the use of bonded Sentinel and Guide teams helped the allies beat Germany. He sighed, already preparing himself for the upcoming task of grading the papers, knowing that he would probably be reading the same things over and over again. This was the third semester he had taught World Sentinel/Guide History and, with two classes each semester, he learned early on that original ideas were few and far between for his students.
Jim was currently working his way through his master's degree in History at Rainier University. While he had grants and a trust fund that helped pay for his tuition and other needs, Jim still liked the idea of teaching the lower classmen about his favorite subject. Sentinels and Guides and the effects they've had on the world since they were discovered. It helped that Jim was one of the few known Sentinels who had to go through life never knowing his Guide. Never having the chance at a normal life because he couldn't control his senses like others like him.
William Ellison, for as much as he blamed his son for his wife's leaving, made sure that Jim never lacked in anything to help him survive not having his Guide. He called in every doctor and specialist that he could find to make it easier for Jim to survive. He said it was because he loved his son, no matter how he treated him, but Jim had always had a sneaking suspicion he did it so that he wouldn't have to worry about Jim as he got older. Eventually, Jim was able to suppress his senses, keeping them at normal or below. On those occasions when he would lose himself on something that he was focused on, or zoned, he had an affidavit that stated that he was to be left alone until he was able to come out of it on his own. And people did, not wanting anything to do with an unbonded Sentinel, unsure of how he would react without his Guide nearby.
When Jim left home to attend Temple, he hadn't been sure what he wanted to do with his life. He was just glad to be out from under his father's thumb.
Glad to be away from his brother who took great joy in tormenting his older sibling. Jim had spent his first two years floundering in school. Sure he got good grades but nothing seemed to interest him much. Then his friend Jay convinced him to take History of South American Sentinels 101 with him and Jim had found his calling. After that first week, Jim had gone to his advisor and gotten permission to change his major from Liberal Arts to Sentinel Studies. His father had gone ballistic when he had found, telling Jim that there was no future in that particular field, but Jim held fast. He had finally found something he was meant to do and he refused to allow his father to convince him otherwise. Jim had graduated from Temple University with his Bachelor's Degree in Sentinel Studies within the top two percent of his class and applied to Rainier to continue his studies. Rainier had one of the highest regarded departments for Sentinel Studies and was the home of the Department for Sentinel/Guide Registration. Every Sentinel/Guide pairing had to come to the city at least once so that their bond could be tested. It was why Jim had decided to attend the University. Rainier had offered him as many grants as he was eligible for, wanting the prestige it would get from having the only successful, unbonded Sentinel in the world today. Even though his abilities weren't commonly known among the everyday population, in the inner circles of Sentinels and Guides, his survival, and the reason for it, had been talked about for years.
Jim had been sought out often in the two years he had been in Cascade to help with unbonded Sentinels whose Guides had yet to be born. Since their Guides were not yet born, the Sentinels had not gone fully online. That did not happen until their bond mate was available. Jim answered their questions about how they could control their senses once they did go online, since it would be awhile before their Guides could help them. Because Jim's Guide was born, he was online, no matter what happened with his own senses because he was unbonded.
Even unbonded Guides came to Jim for help. Jim allowed them to use him as a guinea pig so that they could work on ways that they would be able to help their Sentinels once they bonded. They also helped Jim in controlling his own senses, although they couldn't help him stop the zones since they weren't his Guide. Jim loved helping those that needed him. He loved working with children who were scared about what would happen to them. He loved being able to reassure them that there was nothing wrong and that they could look forward to a full and exciting life that many others only dream about. He refused to think of the way his life could have turned out if he had only met his Guide.
Jim knew the reasons why he was online but still unbonded. His father would never speak to him about it so, as soon as he was old enough, Jim contacted Sentinel/Guide Registration to ask them about his Guide. They had informed him that the reason he and his Guide had yet to meet was because the Guide's mother had refused to allow her son to be registered as a Guide.
That the woman had stated that she did not want her son to have anything to do with Sentinels. Jim had sat in his dorm room stunned for a week after that. Nothing Jay could do could get him to move. He couldn't believe what he had been told. He was being forced to endure a life of pain because some woman did not understand that her son was destined to be a Guide. That he would never know the happiness, the completeness that came with being bonded with his Guide. Jim had been despondent, unresponsive and Jay had been afraid that he might do something to harm himself and was surprised when he didn't. Instead, Jim turned all of his emotions inward, refusing to allow anyone to see his pain. To see his anguish at having his life denied. Jay and the rest of those that had considered Jim Ellison their friend had been shocked at the change in the young man. Whereas they had finally been able to get him to go out with them occasionally, Jim very rarely left his room. He no longer dated; his interest in women having disappeared overnight. Jim's behavior became erratic, his temper short and harsh. There were many nights where Jay decided that it might be better if he just spent the night somewhere else, but he refused to give up on Jim. And neither did his mother. Mrs. Mosley was the only one who could get Jim to respond in anything other than a diffident manner. The only one who could get him to come out of the shell he was living in, but now that was gone. Jim was on the other side of the country now. Away from his friends and the things that meant comfort for him. Instead, his life became even lonelier.
"Excuse, Mr. Ellison," a quiet voice interrupted Jim's musings. He turned to face the student that was talking to him, only to feel like he was losing himself in a pair of soft blue eyes.
"What can I do for you?"
"Well, it's about my paper," the young man said nervously. Jim looked over the student, who didn't look like he should even been in his class. He recognized the student, but couldn't remember his name off hand.
"What about it?"
"Well, it's just that I know it was due today and all, but I was wondering if I could get an extension."
"Why? You've had two months to work on this paper. Why are you coming to me now?" There was no anger in Jim's tone. He had always hated teachers that made it seem like they were doing the students a favor by teaching them.
"I know and I have been working on it. It's just that I was finishing up my research and I came across some other stuff that I wanted to look into. The book that I needed for it just came in today. I would only need this weekend to finish it. I promise to have it to you by Monday afternoon, the latest." There was something about the boy in front of him and Jim could tell that he was telling the truth. He wasn't just making up some excuse for him being late.
"Monday would be fine. Drop it off in my office before class."
"Thanks, Mr. Ellison. I really appreciate it."
"No problem..."
"Blair. Blair Sandburg."
"Have a good weekend, Blair."
"You too, Mr. Ellison. And thanks again."
Part 7
"Naomi, what are you doing here?" Blair asked as his mother made her way into his room before he even invited her to. Naomi took a look around the dorm, tskking at the mess. Blair stared at her back for a minute before shutting the door behind him. He couldn't believe that his mother was in his dorm room. He had been at Rainier for six months now and she had yet to step foot on the campus. Naomi hadn't even seen him off when he left for college, saying something about having to process the fact that her son was going off to be schooled in the conventional ways of the world.
"What, a mother can't visit her son at school?" Naomi turned around, finally looking at her son. Blair shifted from foot to foot nervously, wondering how his mother would react to the changes in him. "What have you done to your hair?" Blair fingered the short locks in question, twisting one of the curls around his finger.
"I thought I would try something different," he replied, slightly defensive. "You know, one of the best reasons to go to college is so that you can try something new."
"Well, I don't like it," she told him. "It makes you look like all those other materialist imbeciles who think that living life means parties and getting drunk and screwing the closest body." Blair kept his tongue, knowing better than to remind his mother that she enjoyed going to parties, getting drunk and picking up someone new. He didn't think it would be a prudent move for his part. "Why don't you let it grow long again? You looked so much better with it that way." "Yes, Naomi," Blair sighed, knowing better than to argue with his mother. He would never win. Once Naomi was satisfied that Blair would do what she wanted, she opened her arms for a hug, which he willing gave. While Blair enjoyed the fact that he had more freedom than many his age, he was still only sixteen and had missed his mother. The hug lasted a few minutes before Naomi finally broke it. She held Blair back from her. "So, tell me, is college everything that you wanted or are you ready to come back with me? You know, Kace and Free would love to see you."
"I would love to see them too..."
"Well, then, let's get your bags packed and we can be in Carmel by tomorrow." Naomi suggested, strongly, without waiting for Blair to finish what he was saying.
"Mom, I can't."
"Well, why on Earth not?" She asked. "There's nothing holding you here. And even if there was, you were raised to be able to pull up stakes anytime you wanted or needed to."
"I have classes, Naomi," Blair reminded her. "The semester isn't even half over. Maybe for spring break I could come for a visit, but not before than."
"Spring break," Naomi repeated those words, a bad taste in her mouth.
"Yeah, mom, spring break," Blair said, patiently. "You know, the week that comes right after mid-terms and gives us poor, lowly college students a chance to breathe again before the final push of the semester. Pat's been trying to convince me to head to Mexico with him and his friends, but it would be no problem going to Carmel to see the gang again."
"Mexico," Naomi whispered, shocked at what was coming out her son's mouth. She couldn't believe that the free-spirited child that she had raised sounded more like the conformists that she hated. "Where in Mexico?"
"Rocky Point, I think he said," he answered, excitement evident in his voice.
"According to Pat, there's some really good places to go diving. I've even been taking some classes so that I could get my certificate."
"Blair, Rocky Point is where everyone your age goes."
"I know, Mom. That's why we wanted to head down there. Pat and his friends have already rented a condo on the beach and they said it would be no problem to stay there. And I've been saving up money from my job. I only need about another two hundred and then I'm set."
"I hope you aren't planning on me giving you that money," she told him, crossly.
"Maybe if you were going to see some of the ruins down there, but I refuse to help you waste your money on a good time." Blair couldn't keep the hurt he felt from his mother's scorn off his face. While he knew that she didn't like his leaving for college, he had thought it was more because of his age than anything else. He had hope that maybe, while he was gone, she might become a bit more tolerant, especially if he could prove that he could make it on his own. Unfortunately, it didn't appear as if that would be the case.
"Don't worry, Naomi. I wasn't planning on asking you for a thing. When have I ever," he spat out. "I told you, I was working and that I've been saving the money. I can get there all on my own." Naomi could tell that she had pushed her son further away from her and needed to find a way to make amends.
"I know, sweetie," she apologized. "It's just that I'm so surprised that you would want to spend your spring break doing something so..." Naomi looked for the right word, "unimaginative. Everyone goes to Mexico for that week. I would have thought you would have preferred to do something else."
"Mom, don't get me wrong," Blair said, accepting her apology, knowing it was the best he was going to get. "I love you, you know that. It's just that, this is my first chance at doing something with kids my own age. Well, they're a little older, but you know what I mean." Naomi gave her son another hug, wanting him to know that she did understand, even if she didn't like it. When they broke apart this time, both people were smiling, the tension still there but not overwhelming them. Naomi once again began to look around the room, mentally sorting between Blair's and his roommate, Patrick's things. When she got to Blair's desk, she stopped cold at the book that was lying on top. "Sentinels and Guides: How Their Bond Makes Them Stronger," she whispered, reading the cover. Blair saw where his mother's attentions fell and held his breath for her reaction.
"Mom?" Naomi turned to face her son and he flinched from the menace in her eyes.
"What are you doing with this?"
"It's one of my school books," he informed her, taking said book from her hands.
"What class are you taking that has you reading about Sentinels?"
"Sentinal/Guide Relationships," he answered simply. "It's a class that investigates the relationships between a bonded Sentinel and Guide. It's really quite fascinating. Our teacher really knows his stuff. I was lucky to get into his class. Not many freshman can. It's a really popular class. One of the first to fill up."
"Blair, you know how I feel about Sentinels. Why are you taking a class about them?" Naomi was doing her best to keep her voice calm, not wanting to argue with her son again.
"Trust me, Mom, you've made it perfectly clear about how much you hate Sentinels and the way they supposedly treat Guides."
"What do you mean, supposedly?" Naomi nearly shouted. "Blair, honey, you have no idea what a Guide is forced to live with once they've bonded with a Sentinel. You've never seen the misery that they're forced to deal with."
"Mom, believe it or not, I have met some Sentinel and Guide pairings," Blair surprised his mother by saying. "All different kinds. I've met some where the Sentinel was older than the Guide or vice versa and the relationship was like a mentor to a student. I've seen some where the two are the same age and they're like brother and sister to each other. In fact, the first bonded pairing I met were married. They had grown up together and fell in love. And none of them regretted the way their lives had turned out.
"Mom," Blair walked over to his mother, wanting to make her understand, "I don't know what it was that made you hate Sentinel's so much, but I need you to understand something. This is my life. This is what I want to do. I want to study Sentinels. I think I'm good at it. Please understand that."
"I'm sorry, baby. I can't." Naomi headed towards the door.
"Mom." Blair hated seeing the disappointed look on his mother's face and was almost tempted to tell her that he would stop studying Sentinels, but he couldn't do it. He didn't know how to explain it to her, but it was something that he felt he had to do. "Please, don't leave like this." Naomi stopped at the entryway, the door half open.
"I'm going to go to Carmel. I need to process this." Naomi turned sad eyes to her son. "Blair, I know right now, you think you know what you're doing, but you'll realize that I'm right. You need to stay away from anything to do with Sentinels and Guides. It will only cause you pain." And with that final shot, Naomi left, leaving Blair to try and figure out what she had meant by that.
Part 8
"Mr. Ellison, I was wondering if I could talk to you?" An obviously upset Blair questioned as he stood outside the office door of the TA.
"Certainly, Blair. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I was kinda wondering if I could ask you something." Jim looked over the young boy that had been in his class the previous semester, wondering what it was that had him so nervous. Jim remembered the exuberance Blair had for his studies and it had been an honor for Jim to be able to teach him. Very rarely did the older man have a student that seemed to absorb the material that he taught like Blair.
"Ask away, Blair," Jim told him, leaning back in his chair. He motioned for Blair to take a seat opposite him. "Are you having problems in one of your classes."
"No, no, nothing like that," Blair answered, sitting down. "It's just that, I really enjoyed your class last semester. I learned a lot. You didn't treat me any different because of my age or anything. I can't say that about most of my teachers."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Jim smiled causing Blair to return it with one of his own.
"It was meant as one." Blair looked down at the books in his lap, Jim allowing the young man the time he needed to get his thoughts together. The TA could tell that whatever it was that was on Blair's mind was important but that the younger man didn't know exactly what to say. Blair took a deep breath and began to speak.
"I kinda have a problem with my mom," he started.
"What kind of problem?"
"She hates the fact that I decided to go to college. She thinks it's a waste of time that would be better spent traveling or meditating or seeking spiritual enlightenment or something like that. Naomi keeps trying to convince me that I should leave and go off to some retreat to process the reasons I decided to go the conventional route."
"Naomi?"
"My Mom," Blair told him. "She's had me call her Naomi for as long as I could remember. I think it helps make her feel younger or something." A snort from Jim made Blair want to go into further detail. "You have to understand Naomi, man. She's like the original flower child. She preaches peace, love and understanding. She raised me that way too. She insisted on me being my own person."
"And yet she can't stand the thought that you are your own person because it doesn't fit into what she sees for you," Jim interpreted. Blair nodded his head.
"Especially because I'm studying Sentinels." Jim's look of shock was evident to Blair.
"Your mother doesn't like your course of study?"
"That's an understatement. She hates it." Jim leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk in front of him. He understood exactly what Blair was going through. He remembered how his father had repeatedly told him how much he had hated the fact that Jim was determined to study Sentinels and Guides and their relationship. William Ellison had been convinced that not only was his son wasting his time majoring in a topic that wouldn't earn him any money, but he also believed that Jim was just setting himself for the big fall because he was never going to have his Guide. The elder Ellison thought that Jim's course of study would make Jim long for what he would never have.
"My father's the same way," Jim admitted, thinking that Blair would feel more comfortable discussing the problem if he knew that Jim understood the feeling. He kept telling me that I was wasting my time and Temple's money by pursuing it. He hated the fact that I didn't want to go into something business related."
"I wish my problem with my Mom was as easy as that," Blair sighed.
"Well, why don't you tell me about it," Jim suggested. "Maybe I can help you with that." Blair took another deep breath to center himself and began to tell him about the day he had first learned about Sentinels and his mother's reactions to the innocent questions of a ten-year-old.
"So now my mother keeps telling me that's she's disappointed in the fact that I'm buying into the government's story of how it's okay to make Guide's into slaves," Blair finished. Jim sat there, stunned. He couldn't believe the story that he had just been told. Sure, he had heard that there were people out there that thought there was something unnatural about the bond between a Sentinel and a Guide, it was why he didn't have a Guide, but he had never actually come face to face with anyone who felt that way.
"You know, that's a common misconception people make when referring to a Guide's role to their Sentinel," Jim began once Blair finished his story. "You'd be surprised at how many people think that a Guide's only role is to do whatever the Sentinel tells them to do. They don't understand that the Sentinel is even more dependent upon the Guide than vice versa. If not for the Guide, a Sentinel would be forced to live his life with his senses dulled, always afraid to let them go because they might cause him to zone. Without the Guide, a Sentinel can never appreciate the total beauty of the world because he can't allow himself the freedom of truly taking it in. While he can still have a productive life, the Sentinel would never be truly alive because he is missing the other half of himself."
"But what happens to the Guide if he never meets his Sentinel?"
"Nothing," Jim told him, sadly, causing Blair to wonder what had caused it in his teacher. "The Guide would be able to function as any other human being. He would be able to enjoy life and everything that it had to offer. The only thing that might happen would be that he would feel as if there was something missing in his life, but he would never be able to put a name to it and, most likely, would eventually get over it. A Guide who never bonded with his Sentinel will never know that he has condemned his Sentinel to a life of misery. Now who sounds like the slave in the Sentinel/Guide relationship there?"
"It sounds like it would be the Sentinel," Blair admitted, wondering how it was that others didn't see it that way. "I wonder why my mother would say those things then. She never has been the type to jump to conclusions, especially the wrong ones, before. Naomi always wanted to make sure she got both sides of the story straight before coming to any kind of conclusion."
"Maybe she was hurt by someone that was a Guide," Jim suggested. "It wouldn't be uncommon for someone to place the blame of one person on an entire group. It's human nature to do that."
"I guess," Blair admitted. "I can see why you got into Sentinel Studies, Mr. Ellison..."
"Jim," Jim interrupted.
"Okay, then. Jim," Blair continued. "You're really into the subject. There aren't a whole lot of teachers out there that are nearly as enthusiastic as you are with what they teach."
"Well, let's just say that the topic is something extremely personal to me."
"Really? Do you know a Sentinel?" Blair's enthusiasm for the subject started to creep back into his voice and Jim found himself wanting to confide in someone, other than those that had to know, about his abilities and what the lack of having a Guide had done to his life.
"You could say I know someone," he started. Jim looked up at the closed door of his office. "I'm a Sentinel and I don't have a Guide."
Part 9
Blair was stunned. A Sentinel. His teacher, James Ellison, was a Sentinel. An unbonded one at that. He couldn't believe it. And here he was, complaining about the fact that his mother hated the concept of Guides being slaves to Sentinels. Jim had just described the hell he must be going through, living life with his senses dulled. Blair didn't know what to say.
"Are you okay?" Jim asked, concerned at how quiet Blair had gotten. He was worried that maybe Blair wouldn't be able to accept that Jim was a Sentinel, especially considering the way that his mother had apparently reacted to his choice of classes. Jim still didn't know why he had felt that he could trust Blair enough with his secret and he hoped that he wouldn't regret his decision now. "Blair?"
"Huh? Yeah?" Blair answered absently, his mind still trying to wrap itself around Jim's announcement. He shook his head, as if to shake loose the cobwebs that had apparently taken over his brain functions. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"I was asking you if you were okay," Jim repeated. "You got kind of quiet there." Blair was silent again for a few minutes, causing Jim to wonder if that was his normal behavior.
"Yeah, I guess I was," he admitted. "I'm sorry. It's just that I was, I don't know, surprised, you know. You've never said anything about it before and I've never heard anyone talking about you being one."
"Well, it's not something that's commonly known," Jim told him. "Only some in the administration here know about my abilities and lack of Guide. It was necessary in case something happened with my senses. That way they're covered. The only other people that know are those over at Sentinel/Guide Registration. They were the ones that told me about the situation with my Guide in the first place."
"What do you mean, situation with your Guide? Are you trying to tell me that your Guide has refused to help you with you senses?"
"I wish it was something as easy as that," Jim sighed. Blair leaned forward in anticipation of whatever he was about to hear, all the while aware of how difficult it had to be for Jim to tell him. He was thankful that the TA trusted him with his secret.
"It seems that when the mother of the person destined to be my Guide found out about it, she stated that she wanted her son to have nothing to do with Guides or Sentinels. She told the doctors that she wanted his name to be kept off the registration list and any records of the tests that had already been performed on him destroyed."
"What?" Blair nearly shouted. "Why in the world would she do something like that for? Didn't she care what she was doing to you?"
"I don't believe she gave me any consideration at all," Jim shrugged, having had to come to terms with his condition years before. "I think the only thing she was worrying about was keeping her son away from the kind of life she feared he would have to live as a Guide."
"But that's crazy," Blair stated. "No matter how she might have felt about the role the Guide plays in the Sentinel's life, that's no reason to condemn you to a life only half lived. Even Naomi wouldn't do that, and she's made it perfectly clear to me that she hates Sentinels. She would never make a child pay for something that was out of his control like that."
"Well, then, she's a better parent than most." There was something in Jim's voice that made Blair take a closer look at the man across from him. Something that said that Jim wasn't just talking about his Guide's parents and suddenly Blair wanted to be the confident that Jim could relax with.
"She's not the only one to let you down, is she Jim. Your Guide's mother?" Jim shook his head, not able to look the younger man in the eye. No one, not even the few friends he had made at school knew about the relationship within the Ellison household, although he was sure a few of them had guessed when he didn't go home for holidays or summer break. Jim had never let anyone get that close to him. And now, here was this young boy who was easily cutting himself a way into Jim's life and the Sentinel didn't even know if he wanted to stop him from doing so.
"Jim, look, I know you don't really know me all that well and that you have absolutely no reason to trust me, but I would really like it if you would consider me your friend." And Jim could tell that Blair meant every word that he was saying and he found himself telling the sixteen-year-old his story.
"I was born and raised right here in Cascade," Jim began. "My parents relocated here from Seattle when I was born. They thought it would be better for me if something happened with my senses before my Guide was located. It turned out that it became necessary after my senses went online and we found my Guide wouldn't be coming."
"That must have been tough," Blair said, sympathizing with the TA. "How did they manage it?"
"They didn't," Jim replied, flatly. At Blair's confused look, Jim continued.
"Not even a year after finding out about what was going on, my mother left us. She couldn't handle the pressure of dealing with a son with out of control senses. It was wearing her down and she had to get out."
"She said this to you?" Jim shook his head.
"She didn't know I was in the house. I was supposed to be sleeping over a friend's house but had come home because he had gotten sick. I overheard her talking to my Dad about it. She never knew I heard her. I just stayed in my room the rest of the day and then when Stephen and I woke up the next morning, we found the note saying that she loved us but that she had to leave. That was the day that everything changed in our house."
"What do you mean?"
"Before my Mom left, our house was like most others. Sure, things weren't perfect, but they were good. We had fun. We went on trips. There was love there. Mom took all of that with her when she left that night. My Dad stopped smiling and laughing. He spent more and more time at the office, not even bothering to come home for dinner. There were even nights when he didn't come home at all, instead relying on our housekeeper Sally to take care of us. She became our family.
"Then, when Dad was home, Stephen would play up to him, taking advantage of the fact that Dad seemed to blame me for Mom leaving. He would tell my father that I was using my senses of that I was doing things when I wasn't. I spent more time in my room than anywhere else, except for school. If it wasn't for the regular visits that some of the people from Sentinel/Guide Registration who felt bad for what had happened to me, I don't think I would have had any real contact with anyone from outside. They would stop by to check on me, make sure that my senses were okay. No one knew what to expect."
"Didn't they try to stop what your father was doing? Surely it couldn't have been good for you, not without a Guide to help you?"
"It wasn't but they never knew what was going on," Jim told Blair, grateful for the concern that he was showing. It had been awhile since Jim had allowed someone close to him and he had forgotten how comforting it could be. "You have to understand my father. Appearances were everything to him. They still are. I think that's one of the reasons he hates that I majored in Sentinel Studies instead of Business like my little brother. He thought I would just want to join in the family business and he hasn't forgiven me yet at what he calls my defection. It's just one of many disappointments I've given him.
"I'm sorry, Jim. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that must be for you," Blair said. "Just knowing that Naomi is angry at me was almost enough to make me consider changing majors."
"Parents have a big influence over their children, no matter what the age," Jim stated. "But I decided a long time ago that I was the one that had to live with whatever decisions I made for my life, so I wanted to make the ones that would make me happy. We can't live out lives for other, no matter how much they might want us to."
"That sounds like good advice," Blair agreed, standing up. "I want to thank you for today."
"For what? Telling you my sob story?"
"No," Blair laughed lightly. "Not your sob story. You story. Thank you for trusting me enough with it. I'm honored."
"You're welcome, Blair," Jim answered, rising also. "Thank you for listening. I hope I was some help to you."
"You were. You have no idea." Blair turned to make his way out of the office. He stopped just as he was about to open the door, turning to face Jim again. "I was wondering, would it be okay if I stopped in again? You know, and do that whole talking thing."
"I would like that, Blair. Feel free to stop in any time."
"Thanks." Blair opened the door and left, leaving behind a Sentinel who felt content for the first time in years.
Part 10
"Hey, Jim, mind if I sit down?" Blair asked the TA who was sitting off in one corner of the coffee shop near campus that a lot of the students frequented, especially around midterms and finals. Jim signaled for his former student to sit and Blair did so, putting the brownie and hot chocolate that he held down on the table.
"How was your weekend?" Jim queried. "Did you and Patrick have fun in Seattle?"
"It was okay, I guess," Blair shrugged. "I mean, turned out his whole family was there so we ended up hanging with his cousins and stuff. Not exactly the kind of excitement that we were looking for."
"Well, that's what you get for trying to stay at a family's house. It always turns out that other people have the same idea." Blair stuck his tongue out at the older man, who only grinned at him.
"Oh sure, now you tell me. You couldn't have informed me of this fact before we went to Seattle."
"Nope, what fun would that have been?"
"You're a real prince of a guy, Ellison. A real prince."
"Thanks, I try."
"Well, keep trying," Blair muttered under his breath, knowing perfectly well that Jim would be able to hear him. Jim made as if to smack the younger man, who only moved out of harm's way, laughing.
"Didn't you mother ever teach you to respect your elders?" Jim asked, enjoying himself. Two months since Blair had come to Jim's office for advice on how to deal with his mother's seeming hatred of Blair's choice in studies and the two had become good friends. Blair could often be found in Jim's office when not studying or when Jim didn't have to help other students. While the two of them didn't have a whole lot in common, they did enjoy spending time together. Jim could always count on Blair to cheer him up when he was in a bad mood, and Blair could always go to Jim when he was having troubles with his studies.
"Sure, she taught it to me. Doesn't mean that I listened to her, though," Blair shot back.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you can be a royal pain in the ass when you want to be?"
"All the time, man. All the time."
"Okay, just checking." Both men laughed a little longer, content to be in the other's presence. Once their laughter stopped, they continued to smile, feeling happy at the friendship that they had formed. They sat in a comfortable silence, sipping their drinks and eating the snacks that they had purchased.
"So, Jim, have you decided whether or not you're going to stay at Rainier to get your doctorate or are you going to take Oxford up on their offer?" Jim was graduating that summer with his Master's Degree in Sentinel Studies and was preparing to continue his education so that he could get his Doctorate on the same subject. The Sentinel had even begun the research he would need for his thesis, not wanting to waste any time in completing his studies. Oxford University, upon hearing about Jim's interest, had offered him a complete scholarship, something nearly unheard of for any school to do above a student's undergraduate schooling, but Jim was a special case. Those in charge wanted Jim to decide to attend their school and were willing to do whatever was necessary to make him choose to go there. Blair was hoping that it wouldn't be enough.
"I'm still thinking about it," Jim answered, "but I'm seriously considering just staying here at Rainier, even if it means that I have to pay my own way." Blair released the breath that he hadn't even been aware he had been holding as he had waited to hear Jim's decision.
"Any particular reason? The Oxford offer sounded pretty good," Blair reminded him, kicking himself in the process for trying to get Jim to change his mind.
"It is," Jim admitted. "But I don't think Oxford's the place for me right now. I enjoy the teaching I do here. And I'm close to Sentinel/Guide Registration which, in my condition, it always a good thing."
"This is true," Blair agreed. "Maybe one day they'll be able to find you your Guide."
"I'm not holding my breath for that to happen any time soon, Chief," Jim told him, using the familiar nickname he had given Blair shortly after they had met. "I've pretty much given up any hope that I'll get a Guide."
"Jim, man, you can't give up. You've told me yourself that a Guide who never bonds with his Sentinel will probably feel as if he was missing a part of himself. Maybe he'll go in search of that part when he turns eighteen and is out from under his mother's thumb. At least, that's what I would do if I were him. And I can't imagine any Guide of yours not wanting to know you."
"But whoever he is doesn't even know he's a Guide, remember?" Jim said, dejectedly. "Besides, it's kind of late for me to be getting a Guide now anyhow. The most I can do is hope for the best kind of life that I can have with my senses."
"Jim, you wouldn't be the first Sentinel whose Guide didn't show up until he was in his twenties," Blair pointed out, ready to state all of the statistics he could to prove his point.
"Yeah, but those were Guides that had just been born," the Sentinel reminded him, throwing his argument off course. "Not ones that had been around for awhile but just never came forward." Jim put down the cup of coffee he had been holding. "Look, Blair, I know what you're trying to do and I appreciate it. I really do. You have no idea what it means to me, knowing that you care that much for me. Hell, no one's gone out of their way to make me not want to give up on myself like you and you have no idea of what that means to me. I just need you to understand that I do know the limitations that I'm living under because of my senses and I've accepted them."
"Have you, Jim? Have you really accepted them?
"Well, I've accepted them as much as I can, under the circumstances," he admitted. "I just don't want you to worry about me, okay?"
"I always worry about my friends," Blair stated. "It's one of my worst habits. So, the way I see it, you have two choices about it. One, you can be my friend and accept that I'm gonna worry about you, even when you tell me that there's nothing wrong or that you don't want me worrying about you."
"Or?"
"Or, I can stop being your friend."
"The second option isn't even going to be under consideration. Ever," Jim said flatly, the idea of Blair no longer in his life more than enough to scare him.
"Well, then, fine. Then just let me worry about you and stop pouting about it."
"I don't pout," Jim replied, a pout very evident on his face, causing Blair to laugh.
"Nope, not you. Not macho man Ellison. There's not a pout to be found anywhere around you," Blair teased.
"That's right, so you better remember that."
"I promise." The two settled back into a comfortable silence, enjoying the relaxing atmosphere of the coffee house and the other's company. Jim noticed that Blair seemed to be lost in thought and wondered what it was that his friend was thinking so hard about.
"Penny for them?"
"What?"
"Your thoughts," Jim explained. Blair looked at Jim, confused, for a minute before he realized what Jim was trying to say.
"I was just thinking."
"Duh." Blair stuck his tongue out at Jim, which the older man had to admit was a rather cute thing on Blair.
"Well, you know that you said that Sentinel/Guide Registration did all kinds of tests on you to see what your senses could do and how you could keep them suppressed so that you didn't overload."
"Yeah, and?"
"Well, did they do any tests to see if maybe it would be possible for you to use them without your Guide? You know, sort of keep a reign on them so that you didn't always have to keep them turned down?" Jim thought about Blair's question, shaking his head as he realized that none of the tests he had been given over the past few years had ever been to help him actually control his senses so that he could use them.
"I don't think they had even considered it a viable possibility," Jim answered. "They probably just figured that it would be a waste of time. There's never been a record of a fully functional Sentinel without his Guide."
"But that could be because they never thought it was possible." Blair was getting excited now as he grasped onto his idea. "What if it were possible? I mean, I'm not saying that you could go right out and do what every other Sentinel is doing with their Guides, but you could probably get some more use out of your senses then what you do have now."
"It's an idea," Jim agreed, looking over at Blair with a new respect for him in his eyes. "I take it you have some clues as to how to check this out?"
"I might," Blair told him. "That is, if you're interested in it."
"I'm very interested. Very interested, indeed. When do we start?"
Part 11
"Jim, come on in," Jarod welcomed the other Sentinel. "Glad you could make it down here today. I know how tough it had to have been, what with the start of the new school year and everything."
"I'll always make time to come and see you, Jarod," Jim told him. "You should know that by now. Even if I do have a thousand and one things to do instead."
"So you keep telling me." Jarod smiled at Jim, which was something that he hadn't always been able to do around the younger man. Jarod could still remember going over to the Ellison household after Jim's senses had gone online and how the unhappiness in the household seemed to suck out any joy he might have had in him. He had been afraid that the loss of his mother and the subsequent withdrawing of his father's affections might harm Jim, but they appeared to have made him stronger, even if Jim was a little reticent about releasing his emotions for those around him to see. While Jarod wished that the younger man would be more outgoing and sociable, he understood that it wasn't going to happen. Not as long as he remained without a Guide, although he had to admit that the past few months there had been a noticeable change in Jim. He seemed more relaxed and, if Jarod was willing to believe what he saw, Jim was even using his senses more.
"Okay, Jarod, not that I don't love dragging my ass down here but I know you didn't ask me here for just a social call," Jim broke into Jarod's musings. "What's up?"
"What, can't one friend call another friend just to see how things are going?" At Jim's raised eyebrow, Jarod chuckled, throwing his hands up in mock surrender.
"Damn, you know you're getting to be too much like Miss. Never willing to believe that I can do something without an ulterior motive."
"That's because we've both known you way too long to buy into your innocent act," Jim retorted.
"Fine, fine, I see how it is. I get no respect." Jarod continued to smile at Jim, no longer surprised at the teasing that he was getting. He watched Jim take his usual seat, facing both Jarod and the door, as if he were on the lookout for any trouble that might come into the office, even though the building was one of the most secure in the world. Jarod wondered if Jim even realized what he was doing or if it was purely part of the Sentinel gene. He had noticed it in many of the other Sentinels that he had dealt with over the years and his wife had even mentioned the fact that he would do it on occasion himself.
"Okay, Jarod, what's up?"
"I've been worried about you, Jim," Jarod stated bluntly. At Jim's continued silence, he continued. "You haven't been coming around the offices as much and you know that the reason we encouraged you to do so was so that you could keep a handle on your senses. We can't help you if we don't know what's going on. And if we don't know what's happening with you, we can't make sure that you don't go into a zone out if you concentrate too hard on something."
"My senses are fine, Jare," Jim assured the other man. "Really. I haven't had a zone out in five months and I know that's a record for me. And I've even been able to use them more. Just last week I went out to that new Thai place and was able to order something I wouldn't have been able to before because it was too spicy. Do you know how wonderful that felt? I almost felt like a normal human being again."
"I'm sure it was great. I'm not saying that I'm not happy for you. I am," he told Jim. "But the fact that you are using your senses more and not appearing to have any problems with them has us wondering if there is something going on that maybe we should know about. Something that you're doing that might be affecting your senses." Jarod noticed that Jim was suddenly unable to meet his eyes and wondered if he was doing something that was causing his senses to change.
"Jim, is there something you want to tell me? Something about your senses?"
"Not really," Jim shrugged.
"Jim," Jarod mock growled, knowing it was the best way to get the TA to talk to him. "What have you been doing differently?" Jim squirmed in his seat, something that he only did when he knew he did something that he could get in trouble for, Jarod had learned. "Jim, come on. Talk to me."
"Well, I have been testing my senses," he began hesitantly.
"What do you mean, testing your sense?" Jim finally looked up and met Jarod's eyes.
"There's this kid at school," the Sentinel explained. "He was one of my students last year. He came to me with a personal problem one day and we got to talking. I told him that I was an unbonded Sentinel. And, before you even ask," Jim held up his hand, stopping Jarod from saying anything, "I don't know why I told him. It just felt right, you know?" The other Sentinel nodded his head in understanding. "We became friends. He wasn't a student of mine anymore, so I didn't see any possibility of a conflict arising and he's younger than most students so I figured he could use some help in dealing with college. But it turned out, he's more of a help to me.
"He came up with some tests, both in a lab and then outside, that dealt with everything from smelling flowers to listening to the conversations that people were holding around us. He gave me ideas on how to control my senses better. Dial them down, as he would put it."
"Dial them down?"
"Yeah." Jim leaned forward, excited to share everything that he had been learning. "You see, he had me picture dials in my head. You know, like radio dials. A different one for each sense. Then, when one of them starts to spike or something, I just turn that dial down until it's bearable again, that way I can control my senses and nothing really bad happens."
"And does this, dial thing, really work?"
"Like a charm," Jim answered. "That's one of the reasons why I haven't had a zone out too. He's helped me recognize them and, together, we figured out different ways of stopping them before they even start." Jarod thought about what Jim was telling him, analyzing in his head the concept of using dials to control the senses. It was a new idea, one that no one had ever thought of before, but he could see where it could work. And if it helped an unbonded Sentinel deal with his senses, Jarod couldn't even begin to imagine the possibilities for bonded Sentinel/Guide pairs.
"He sounds like a smart man, this friend of yours," Jarod said. "I'm glad that he's been able to help you with your senses. It's almost like he's a substitute Guide for you."
"Yeah, that what we both said too," Jim agreed. "And he is terrific, especially considering the fact that he just turned seventeen a few months ago." Jarod stared, open mouthed, at Jim.
"Just turned seventeen? But I thought you said that he had been in one of your classes."
"He was," Jim explained. "He started Rainier when he was sixteen. He's like a boy genius. I had him his first semester. Blair was offered a full scholarship and everything."
"Blair?"
"Yeah. That's his name. Blair Sandburg." Jarod was stunned. It can't be true. There's no way it could be the same one.
Same one what, hon? Miss Parker's voice asked, through their link, causing Jarod to jump. Jim chuckled at the other Sentinel's reaction, having been witness to many silent conversations between the husband and wife. He could recall many a time seeing Miss Parker's thoughts surprise her husband.
Don't do that.
Sorry, but you shouldn't go thinking so loudly if you don't want me hearing you.
Yeah, yeah, that's what you always say. I think you just enjoy surprising me like that though. And, I didn't think I was thinking that loudly anyway.
Well, you were, so what's got you so uptight anyway?
Jim Ellison's here and he just told me something I didn't expect to hear.
What?
It appears he's met his Guide already and Blair is helping him with his senses.
Really? Jarod could hear the surprise his wife was feeling through their link.
How did they meet?
Blair was one of Jim's students and apparently they've become friends. Blair's the reason Jim hasn't been having any zones lately.
That's terrific. Do they know they're supposed to be bonded?
Not yet, and we still can't say anything because Blair is under eighteen. We have to keep it quiet still.
True, Miss Parker sighed. I just hate lying to Jim. He's been through so much already. He deserves to have a normal life.
I know, my love, but we don't have any other choice. We just have to sit back and be patient.
"Umm, Jarod, I hate to interrupt while you're talking to the little woman, but I really need to get back to the University. I have a class in an hour," Jim said, interrupting Jarod's conversation with Miss Parker.
"I'm sorry, Jim," Jarod apologized. "I didn't mean to ignore you."
Talk to you in a few, hon.
"It's no problem." Jim brushed aside Jarod's apology. "Really. You go back to having your conversation with Miss and I'll get going. Besides, I promised Blair I would meet him before class to talk about something."
"You should bring Blair by the office one day, Jim. I would love to see him. And I bet Miss would too."
"I'll see what I can do." Jim rose from his seat and shook Jarod's outstretched hand. "I'll give you a call."
"You better." Jarod watched Jim leave his office. For once, the older Sentinel had a good feeling about Jim's future, knowing that, despite what his mother had tried to do, Blair was still a Guide for his Sentinel. Jarod chuckled to himself. Damn, fate could be a bitch when she wanted to be.
Part 12
How did I get myself roped into this? Jim thought to himself as the plane he was flying in made its way to Lima, Peru. The TA had been asked to go to the South American country by Sentinel/Guide Registration. They had discovered that there was a Sentinel in one of the local tribes whose senses had gone online and, because of the terrain the he resided in, his Guide's parents had stated that they would not subject their two-year-old daughter to those conditions. When Jim had first heard about it, he had assumed that this Sentinel was going to remain unbonded, like him, but Jarod had informed him differently. These people had no problem with allowing their daughter to be a Guide; it was just that they wanted to wait until she was a bit older before they moved her to the rainforests of Peru. They had even offered to let the young Sentinel, he was ten, live with them, going so far as to say they would pay for his living expenses, but they had been turned down. The Sentinel, Jamaylo, had only been away from his village a few times and he didn't feel comfortable with the idea of going to live in another country, especially without his parents. He was more than willing to wait the few years it would take before his Guide was old enough to come to him. God, I hate flying, Jim cursed inwardly, wincing as the small plane hit some more turbulence. He gripped the armrests, his knuckles going white. Jim had never been a big fan of airplanes, the noise of their engines bothered his sensitive ears, and the smaller planes, like the one he was on, were even worse than the normal commercial airlines. He wished, not for the first time, that Blair were with him instead of traipsing the world with his mother. He was sure that the younger man would have been able to come up with an idea or two that would have made it easier for him to make the journey.
Jim smiled as he thought of his young friend. Oh, be serious, Jimmy boy. If you could have it your way, Blair would be firmly ensconced in your bed, only leaving so that he could take a shower and a leak. Hell, the first wouldn't even be required. You're be more than willing to give Blair all the sponge baths he could possibly want.
Jim shifted in his seat, trying to will away the erection the picture in his head had given him. His imagination had always been good, and the fantasies he had of Blair and him together were always more than enough to get him hard. Jim had long given up any pretense he had at hiding his feelings for one Blair Sandburg. The Sentinel had fallen head over heels in love with the student and, much to Jim's delight and surprise, those feelings were mutual. He could still remember the conversation that had taken place four months before, just days before the University's Spring Break. Blair had been telling Jim all about the trip he was going to take to the Grand Canyon with his mother. Jim knew that, while Blair was excited about the trip and spending time with his mom, he would also have much rather joined one of the trips that his many friends were going on. Blair had told Jim, making the TA swear not to tell anyone else, that the only reason Blair had agreed to go with Naomi was because he was trying to mend fences with her still. Naomi still hadn't forgiven her son for his decision to study Sentinels, having gone so far as to talk to the Dean of the department to try and get him dismissed from the program. Needless to say, that had not gone over too well with the younger man.
Blair had been making some kind of comment, along the lines of how there was no way he would be able to go off on his own his entire vacation, something that Jim knew Blair liked to do. Blair enjoyed spending time by himself, communing with nature. He said it was his way of getting in touch with himself. Unfortunately, Blair was pretty sure that his mother wouldn't let him alone the whole vacation, instead, she would probably be continuing in her crusade to get her son to change his course of study.
"Come on, man. You've met Naomi. You know what she's like. Hell, she tried to get you and Pat to gang up on me to convince me of the error of my ways and then she wouldn't even talk to you two when you both told her that I was a big boy and could decide for myself what I wanted to do with my life," Blair told Jim, a slight whine in his voice that Jim couldn't help but find adorable.
"I remember, Chief," Jim assured him. "Trust me; there is no way I could forget that weekend. What is it about Sentinels that makes her hate them so much, anyway? I thought she was going to have a heart attack when you mentioned that you were going to Sentinel/Guide Registration with me. I could hear her heart going triple time and the fear was just rolling off of her. It was like she was scared that something was going to happen to you there."
"I know. I don't understand it. I have no idea what it is about Sentinels that has her so scared about me getting involved with them. All I know is that she will do her best to try and convince me to steer clear of them. I don't even want to imagine what she'll do when she discovers that you're one. And now, Mom's enlisting her friends to help her with project 'Save Blair'."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, over winter break, Naomi decided that maybe if I got involved with someone, preferably the daughter of one of her friends that feels the same way about Sentinels that she does, maybe that will convince me to change my course of study. She kept throwing this girl that she knew at me, even though I had made it perfectly clear that I wanted nothing to do with her little plan. She just didn't care. And I have a feeling that somehow we'll just accidentally run into some of her friends on this trip."
Jim had not been happy with that little announcement. He had never really thought about Blair dating. Most of the girls that he knew were older than the student and, as much as Blair hated it, treated him like their little brother. Suddenly, hearing that Naomi Sandburg was trying to fix her son up, in essence, trying to take Blair away from him even if she didn't know it scared him to death. Jim had no idea what he would do if Blair left him and his uncertainty had caused him to do something that Jim would never have done under normal circumstances.
"She can't do that," Jim demanded, surprising Blair. "You don't belong with some nameless girl that would even consider changing the way you are. You deserve so much more than that. You deserve someone who appreciates everything about you. Someone who doesn't care if you keep your hair long," Jim fingered the shoulder length curls, "or if you suddenly decided to shave it all off. You need someone who can give you the freedom you want, all the while willing to be available whenever you need them to be. Someone who, while they might not like what you're interested in, will still support your efforts."
Blair watched, for once silent, as Jim came closer to him, totally ignoring any and all personal space between them. He looked deep into the Sentinel's eyes and was stunned by what he saw there. It was the same emotion he was pretty sure Jim could see in his and all Blair could do was listen as Jim spoke from his heart.
"You are so beautiful, Blair. Inside and out. You are so willing to help anybody who asks. Hell, you won't even wait to be asked and I know that fact first hand. You've lived more in your seventeen years than most people have in their sixties. You should have someone in your life who understands that everything about you is something that needs to be cherished and not changed." Jim was now standing in front of Blair, their faces only millimeters apart. Jim could hear the pounding of Blair's heart and the way his blood was running through his veins.
"Someone like you, maybe?" Blair whispered, lessening the distance between their mouths.
"Definitely. Someone like me." And then the distance was gone as the two men finally gave into their hearts fondest desires and kissed.
Part 13
Jim smiled fondly, ghosting his fingers over his lips, as he remembered the first time he had kissed Blair. He closed his eyes, seeing Blair in his mind after they had parted, his hair disheveled from Jim's hands grasping it, his lips swollen from long, passion-filled minutes of kissing. Neither man had said anything; not wanting to break the spell that had woven its way around them. They just stood there, holding each other, content to stare into the love-filled blue eyes of the other person. Eventually, though, words had to be exchanged and, no surprise to either of them, it was Blair who first spoke.
"Please, tell me you didn't kiss me just to prove your point, man," Blair nearly pleaded; needing to hear Jim say what he was feeling. The Sentinel smiled, understanding the younger man's feelings. He was feeling a little insecure himself. As much as he loved Blair, and needed him in his life, he contented himself with only being able to be Blair's friend and protector.
"I kissed you because I've wanted to kiss you for longer than I can remember," Jim informed the stunned student. "Please tell me, though, that you didn't kiss me because you felt pity for me."
"Pity for what?"
"For falling helplessly and hopelessly in love with someone completely and utterly too good for me." Blair had answered Jim's question with a soft kiss that left everything that he was feeling open for Jim to know.
"I love you, too, James Joseph Ellison," Blair stated firmly. "And I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. You are so special and the fact that you don't seem to even realize that just makes it even more so. I can't understand how anyone could not help but love you. You exude the very essence of the loving and caring person that you are and anyone lucky enough to get to know that side of you is truly given a wonderful gift." This time it was Jim that answered with a kiss and the two men lost themselves, once more, in each other.
Jim's senses reeled at the exquisite taste that was Blair Sandburg. He could have zoned on any one sense alone, but then all of the others would kick in and he had to quickly dial them all down before they could overload on him. The feel of Blair in his arms, the silk of the auburn curls as they brushed against the Sentinel's sensitive skin, the smell of his love's arousal, the sight of his passion- filled gaze all helped Jim to stay focused on the man in his arms.
"If this is a dream, please God, don't let me wake up. Ever." Jim chuckled at Blair's statement, felling the exact same way.
"It's no dream, my love," Jim said, holding Blair closer to his chest, reveling in the feeling of the small man against him. He didn't think anything could ever feel as good as having Blair at his side.
Sitting on the plane, Jim remembered how he and Blair had spent the rest of the night, cuddled on the couch in Jim's small apartment, alternating between kissing and talking about the future, knowing that whatever it held, they would be facing it together, because there was no way either man was going to let the other go now. They agreed to wait for Blair to turn eighteen before letting people know about their relationship, not wanting to get the TA into any trouble for becoming involved with someone under the legal age. Then, much to Blair chagrin, Jim told him that he wanted to postpone having sex until Blair was of age also. Blair thought that it was because Jim believed he was too young to have intercourse, but Jim made it clear that it was only because he wanted to make sure they were both ready for that step in their relationship. Sex between two people was a serious matter, he had told the younger man, and he didn't want to take any chances that either one of them wasn't ready. Eventually, Blair agreed to wait and not pressure Jim, knowing that it meant a lot to him. He understood that Jim was only trying to make sure that no problems would arise later that they hadn't thought of and it made him love the Sentinel even more.
Blair had left for the Grand Canyon a few days later, promising Jim that he would call him as soon as he could. The week Blair was gone had been the longest week in Jim's life, who filled it grading midterms and helping out at Sentinel/Guide Registration. He remembered what Blair had told him about Naomi's matchmaking attempts and, while he trusted his love, those feelings didn't extend to his mother. When the week was up, Jim was at the airport, arms open, waiting for Blair. They greeted each other as if they were only friends, waiting until they were along to give in to the passion that had engulfed them both on sight. Blair told him that he had been right, Naomi had tried to set him up, again, but he shot her down. He told Jim that he had informed his mother that he had found someone special, but assured the Sentinel that he didn't tell his mother the identity of the person in question and Jim knew he was telling the truth.
The next two months were spent in each other's company, occasionally hanging out with friends but, more often than not, it was just the two of them. Blair continued to help Jim with his senses, pleased at the progress they had made. He had even gone to Sentinel/Guide Registration and met Jim's friend Jarod and Miss Parker, surprised to find out that they were the same Sentinel/Guide couple that he had met so many years ago. He watched the way Jim interacted with the other couple and realized that they had become something of surrogate parents to the younger Sentinel and was glad that they had been there for him when he was growing up. Blair didn't even want to imagine what Jim's childhood would have been like if they hadn't. But the biggest surprise of the day had yet to come.
"Jarod, I was wondering if something was possible," Jim began, and Blair could see the nervousness that his future lover was feeling. He didn't know what Jim had planned, but he squeezed that hand that he was holding under the table of the restaurant they were in, showing his support.
"If what was possible?"
Jim took a deep breath and, looking down at the table, asked his question.
"If there was a way to make Blair my official Guide?" The other three occupants stared at Jim, who still hadn't looked up, in stunned silence. No one knew what to say. What Jim was asking was unprecedented. Then again, having an unbonded active Sentinel wasn't a common occurrence either.
"Jim, why?" Blair whispered, but loud enough for the Sentinel's to hear him. Jim finally looked up at his love, smiling at the joy that he saw radiated back at him.
"Why would you want to do something like that?"
"Because, that's what you are," he answered without hesitation. Jim cupped the cheek of the younger man. "You are my Guide, even if it's in name only. You help me with my senses. You ground me, even when you aren't there. When I hear your heartbeat, there's this contentment that just goes right through me. If that isn't what makes a Guide, even an unofficial one, than I don't know what does."
"I would love to be your Guide, Jim." The smile that appeared on Blair's face went right through Jim. "I am your Guide, Jim."
"And I'm your Sentinel." The two men had to fight the impulse to kiss that they were both feeling. A cough gave them the diversion that they both needed and Jim's attention went back to the other pair, who couldn't believe what was going on right in front of them. A Sentinel and Guide had just bonded, without even knowing that they were supposed to. "Jarod?"
"What?" The older Sentinel shook himself, bringing himself back to the table from the conversation he had been having with his wife.
"So, is it possible? Can Blair be made my official Guide?" Jim repeated his earlier question. Jarod looked over at his wife, who smiled and nodded her head.
"I think that can be arranged," she answered for her husband and the rest of the day had been spent doing exactly that. It was now on record that one Blair Sandburg was the official Guide to Sentinel Jim Ellison, complete with bonding. It was just another footnote in the older strange folder of the formerly unbonded Sentinel.
Then, two days later, it had been time to say good-bye to each other. Blair was heading off to spend the summer break with his mother, who had insisted that he join her. Blair hadn't wanted to leave, he was about to turn eighteen and had wanted to spend that day in Jim's arms, but both men agreed that it would be the right thing to do. There were still a lot of fences that needed to be mended between mother and son. He was sure that once the elder Sandburg discovered that her son was now a Guide and a lover to a Sentinel that she would go ballistic and he hoped to head it off at the pass. So, he mournfully watched as the plane took off, taking his Guide away from him, and contented himself with spending one last, lonely summer by himself, because Jim knew that there was no way that he would be able to handle Blair being gone from him for so long once they were lovers.
Jim had kept busy, working on his dissertation, and looking for a place to live. He had decided to finally use some of the money he had in his trust fund and bought him a beautiful loft near the waterfront. He spent his days decorating it, wanting it to be perfect for when Blair came home. He hoped the younger man would want to stay there with him. He and Blair spoke on the phone as much as they could. Jim had been dismayed to hear that Naomi was still trying to play matchmaker, but Blair assured him that even the girls that she was trying to foist upon him could tell that he was most definitely taken. Then Jarod had come to him, telling him about that young Sentinel in Peru, asking for Jim's help, and he couldn't say no. He had tried to call Blair, to tell him about the trip, but he couldn't get through. He had finally talked to Naomi, who said that she would give Blair the message, Jim didn't mention the reason why he was going to be out of town, just that he was going, but somehow Jim didn't think she would. And now, here he was, on a plane, hoping that he wouldn't lose his lunch. An explosion off to his left brought Jim out of his musings.
"What was that?"
"What's going on?"
"Oh my God, the wing's on fire."
"We're going down."
The people around him were screaming, pointing out the window where Jim could make out the flames from the smoking wing. Or, more to the point, what was left of it. The lone flight attendant went around the cabin, trying to calm people but Jim could tell how scared she was. He watched as his fellow passengers clung to each other, looking for some kind of reassurance and knew there was none to be given. Jim had seen the jungle floor beneath them and knew there would be no safe landing for the plane. He looked out the window to his side and watched as the ground rushed to greet them, his final thoughts going out to the young man on the other side of the world.
"Blair, forgive me."
Part 14
Jim regained consciousness slowly, his body feeling the pain that came from being thrown from his seat when the plane had crashed into the lush rainforest. He couldn't believe that he had actually survived the crash. Jim could hear other survivors as they cried for help that he was almost positive wouldn't be coming anytime soon. The plane had gone down in an extremely remote area of Peru, one that only rebels and the local native tribes ever went into.
"Help me, please," a weak voice cried out, somewhere off to Jim's right.
"Anyone, please, help me." Jim recognized the voice as belonging to the teenage boy that had been sitting in the seat in front of him. He remembered that he had been going to Peru to see his father, who was an archaeologist, and was there doing some research. Jim slowly, and carefully, got to his feet and made his way over towards where the voice was coming from.
"It's okay," he told the boy, Daniel something or other, as he reached the teen.
"I'll help you."
"Oh, thank god," the teen cried out. "I was afraid that I might have been the only one on the plane to have survived."
"No, you're not the only one." As Jim was saying this, he was using his senses to try and determine how many other of his fellow passengers might have survived the crash, using the techniques that Blair had taught him to decipher what was human and what was animal, and was surprised by how many others he heard. From what he could tell, by the various voices around them, he thought that as many as ten or twelve others were still alive. Jim turned his attention back to the young man in front of him. Daniel's leg was trapped underneath what looked like the remains of part of one of the wings. Jim tested the metal, seeing how hard it would be to move it and was rewarded with a scream from the boy that was underneath it.
"Awwwwwwwwww, fuck, that hurts," Daniel groaned, his hands holding onto his thighs as if they were trying to will away the pain.
"Sorry," Jim apologized as he continued to remove the metal. Finally, after what seemed like hours but was really only minutes, Jim had Daniel free and was examining his wounds. The younger man's leg was broken and he had a cut along his forehead, but Jim couldn't see anything more serious than that. "We need to get that leg set. I'll need to find something that will help brace it. Not to mention that cut on your forehead. It doesn't look too bad but considering where we are, it wouldn't take much for an infection to set in."
Daniel looked around at the wreckage that was strewn across the forest floor.
"What the hell happened?" He asked, although Jim had a feeling he wasn't actually expecting an answer.
"Not sure," the Sentinel told him, tearing off his shirt and ripping it into strips which he was using to bandage the teen's wounds. Jim didn't think it would do the youth any good to hear that he believed that the plane had been brought down by a missile that Jim had heard hit the wing minutes before they had gone down.
"Where are we? Are we anywhere near civilization? How will anyone find us?" Daniel fired off questions rapidly, too rapidly for Jim to answer. He just continued to minister to the wounds of the young boy, letting his own mind drift to the very questions that he was being asked. He knew they were somewhere in Peru, the pilot having told them when they had entered the airspace of that country. As for how far they were from any city, or civilization as Daniel put it, Jim figured that they were pretty far. He couldn't smell any of the things that he had come to associate to a big city. Jim also had no idea how anyone would find them, although he thought he had read something about planes having some kind of device on board that was used to help locate a downed craft, but he wasn't sure how the dense forest surrounding them would affect that instrument, if it had survived the crash at all.
Jim finished tending to the boy's wounds, having wrapped the leg up as best as he could, using a couple of heavy branches that he had found nearby to splint it, and stood up, stretching and taking in the forest around them. More people seemed to be moving about now, helping their fellow passengers and Jim counted about twelve people all together, including the flight attendant that had been flirting with him earlier in the flight. Jim helped Daniel to his feet, supporting the younger man by holding him around the waist and the two made their way over to some of the others, offering their help and whatever comfort they could give.
Jim, along with two other passengers who had managed to survive the crash relatively unscathed like himself, investigated their surroundings, bringing back some wood to help them build a fire to keep them warm in the approaching night. They provided what medical care they could for the injured and talked about what they would do if rescue didn't come for them by morning. It had been decided that Jim would try and hike out if no one came for them. He was the youngest of the three men and in the best shape. While he wasn't too happy about the prospect of hiking through the dense forest with no idea of where he was going, Jim knew that it might be there best chance to get help if none arrived.
The night dragged on slowly, the sounds of the injured overlapping the normal nocturnal sounds of the forest. Even though it looked like he would be taking a hike the next morning, Jim had encouraged his fellow passengers to get some sleep, assuring them that he would have no problem staying awake to keep a watch out for any search planes that might have been out looking for them, not to mention checking out the injured to make sure that their injuries weren't getting any worse. Jim had known that, no matter how much he would have tried, there would have been no way he would have been able to fall asleep. His senses were on hyper-alert, picking up everything that was going on around them. Without his Guide near him, Jim's Sentinel abilities were going wild and it was taking every ounce of willpower he had to continue using the dials that Blair had taught him. He sent his thanks to the young student that had come into Jim's life and helped him gain control of it.
The Sentinel made another sweep of the area with his hearing, hearing all of the sounds that he had come to associate with their current position when something caught his attention. He focused all of his attention towards the northern part of their makeshift camp, piggybacking his sight to his hearing, trying to find out what it was that he was sensing when he saw them. A group of ten men, natives to one of the local tribes if their dress was any indication, were heading towards the survivors. They were about a half mile away, moving quietly, almost as if they knew there was a Sentinel among their quarry and wishing to sneak up on him.
Jim rose, waking the other two men up, indicating to them to be ready for a possible attack. They quickly looked around, trying to find something, anything that they could use for a weapon, when a voice startled them.
"Sentinel, you have come at last," a deep voice echoed through the night, breaking the silence of the night. Jim turned to face the speaker, surprised to hear English coming from the Native. Standing in front of him was a dark- skinned man, his long black hair braided in an intricate pattern. While the man, and the warriors that were with him, held bows and arrows, they were not pointed at any of the survivors, indicating that they meant no harm to them.
"What did you call me?" Jim asked, wanting to make sure he had heard correctly.
"I called you Sentinel," the man answered. "That is what you are, is it not?"
"Yes, but how did you know? And where did you learn to speak English?"
"I know who and what you are because the spirits have allowed me that knowledge. As for how I speak English, many in my village have spent time in the city studying at the University there. They learn it there and then bring their knowledge back to the village for everyone else to share in it."
"They've taught you well."
"Thank you, Sentinel," the stranger said.
"My name is Jim."
"And I am called Incacha." Incacha looked around at the rag tag group of Americans that were lying around them. He motioned for his warriors, for Jim had no doubt that Incacha was the leader of this particular group, and they began to help the survivors up, making sure not to hurt them any more than necessary.
"Come, Sentinel. We will take you back to our village and help you and the others with your injuries." Jim didn't even protest as he was led from the crash site.
"You said a vision told you that I was a Sentinel. What else did it tell you?"
"That you are here to be bonded to your Guide and learn your destiny as a Sentinel." And with that stunning announcement, Incacha led Jim off into the forest.
Part 15
"Hey, Blair, wait up," Patrick called out to his roommate when he saw the younger man crossing the quad in front of their dorms. Blair turned and waited for his friend, happy to see him after the long summer break. The eighteen-year- old was glad to be back at Rainier, wondering when it was that he had begun to dislike the traveling lifestyle that his mother had raised him in. He had spent the summer wandering the isles of Greece with Naomi and her latest boyfriend, Stavros, trying to convince her that he didn't want her to fix him up with any of her friends' children. He had told her that he was in love, but that didn't matter to Naomi. She never was one to settle down with just one person. Hell, it still amazed Blair that his mother was able to go from place to place, man to man, and never allow any roots to take place. While he had enjoyed the sights of Ancient Greece, he was glad to be back to what he considered his home.
"Patrick, my man, what's up?" Blair waited for the older student to catch up to him and they continued on their way to the room they would be sharing again.
"Did you hear about what happened to Jim Ellison?" Patrick asked, as they cut through the throngs of students who were still busy moving into the student housing building.
Blair stopped and looked at his friend, a sense of doom coming over him. It was the same one he had been getting off and on for the past few weeks and it hadn't been helped when Jim hadn't been at the airport to greet him, like they had planned. Then, when he had gone to Jim's new apartment, a key having already been left for him at his post office box, to discover it looking abandoned, that panic had gone full steam ahead. He had even gone to Jim's office to see if the TA was there, only to discover it locked up tight.
"What happened to Jim?"
"He was going to Peru when the plane he was flying in went down." Patrick watched as Blair's face became an unearthly shade of white. He thought the younger boy would pass out right there but, luckily, the elevator stopped at their floor and he led Blair to their room, nothing else being said between the two of them. Once they were safely ensconced in the room, Blair went over and sat on his bed.
"Blair? Blair, are you okay?" Patrick knelt in front of Blair, taking Blair's hand in his and trying to offer comfort to him. He cursed himself for the stupid way he had broken the news to Blair. He knew how much Jim Ellison had come to mean to his roomie, having listened to Blair speak about him over the past year and a half. Patrick knew that Blair had fallen in love with the TA and, from what he could tell from the few occasions where he saw Blair and Jim together; he would swear that the feelings were mutual.
"Ummm, I'm not sure. Did you just say that a plane that Jim was on went down?" Patrick nodded, causing Blair to shiver. "Where did it go down? Were there any survivors? How's Jim? Where is he?" Blair stood up quickly, causing Patrick to fall back on his ass. Blair looked around the room, trying to figure out what he would need to bring with him so that he could get to Jim. He didn't pay any attention to Patrick who was calling out to him again. It wasn't until he felt the sharp sting of a slap to his cheek that he finally looked at his roommate again. Patrick had him by the arms, not allowing him any freedom to do anything. "Patrick, let me go. I have to get to Jim. He'll need me."
"Blair, Jim's gone," Patrick said harshly, hating himself all the while for doing it. He knew how much Blair had to be hurting right now, but Patrick didn't think Blair would accept what he was telling him unless he was forced to. "Do you hear me? His plane went down in the jungles of Peru. According to my uncle, they think it was shot down by one of the drug cartels down there as a message to stay out. As far as anyone knows, there were no survivors." Blair shook his head, refusing to believe what he was hearing.
"No, you're wrong," Blair told him. "Jim's alive. I know it. He wouldn't die on me. Not now. Not now." Patrick watched helplessly as Blair fell to his knees, sobbing. He dropped down next to him, taking Blair into his arms, offering whatever comfort he could, but he didn't know what to say. He had never seen Blair like this, not even when his mother had stopped talking to him that second semester when she had found out that Blair was majoring in Sentinel Studies.
"Blair, I'm sorry."
"He can't be gone. He can't be." Blair lifted his head and looked at Patrick, his blues eyes meeting his roommate's green ones. "There had to be some mistake. Right? I mean, Jim never mentioned anything about him going down to Peru. He would have said something to me about it. I know he would have. It's all a big mistake."
"Blair, there's no mistake," Patrick told him, not mentioning that he knew that Jim had left a message with Naomi. The TA had told Patrick about the trip, figuring that Blair would call him to find out any information. It's what they had always done when they needed to pass messages along. "I got it straight from my uncle. He knows that you and Jim were close and that you were out of the country so probably hadn't heard the news yet. He wanted to tell me so that you would hear it from someone close to you instead of through the rumor mill, which I'm sure will be going crazy once this gets out. And you know it will get out. Jim was one of the most popular teachers in Sentinel Studies, even though he was only a TA. Hell, I heard my uncle talking about how the board was already going to offer him a position in the faculty once he got his Doctorate."
"But what was he going down there?" Blair sniffed, wiping the tears that had fallen with the sleeve of his flannel shirt. "I mean, what was so important in Peru that he had to just take off and not tell me?"
"Apparently, Jim was going there at the request of Sentinel/Guide Registration," Patrick explained. "There's a Sentinel on one of the local tribes that recently went online, but his Guide hasn't been found yet. They wanted Jim to go down and try to help him deal with his senses until his Guide was found."
"And Jim being Jim was more that willing to go and help," Blair finished, wanting to hate the fact that Jim's willingness to help those in need may have gotten him killed, but unable to. "Damn it, why did he have to go? It's just not fair. We were so close. This was going to be our year."
"What are you talking about?" Patrick was confused. Blair made it sound as if something special was supposed to happen when school started again. Something between him and Jim Ellison, and then it hit him. Sure, he knew that Blair and Jim were both in love with the other, but neither man had ever made a move to do anything about it. Patrick had just assumed that it had something to do with the fact that they hadn't been ready to deal with the fact that they were in love with another man, but maybe it was because of Blair's age. This was the first time that they would have seen each other when Blair would have been old enough to date Jim without the fear of any repercussions because of his age.
"Oh God, Blair. I'm so sorry. I had no idea."
"What?"
"You and Jim. You two were finally going to get together this year, weren't you?" Blair jumped up out of Patrick's arms, once again, causing his roomie to fall on his ass, but this time Patrick didn't get up immediately after. "What makes you think that?" Patrick could see the panic in Blair's eyes and knew the younger boy was afraid of what his reaction would be to the revelation of the feelings between the two men.
"Blair, it's okay. Really." When Blair began to calm down again, Patrick continued. "I knew there was something between you and Jim. I could tell you cared for him just by listening to the way you talked about him. It's always 'Jim said this,' or 'Jim did that.' It was pretty obvious, at least to me."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Who you fall in love with isn't any of my business," Patrick admitted, finally moving from the floor. "Besides, I thought you and Jim were good together. Hell, I remember how he was before the two of you started hanging out. Sure, Jim would be more that willing to lend an ear if you had a problem, or offer his services if you needed help, but he was one lonely mo fo. He never allowed anyone to get close to him, until you. You changed that. You brought him out of his shell. You're one of the reasons that Jim is one of the most popular teachers on campus. How can the two of you being in love be wrong if it caused all of that?"
"A lot of people would have problems with us being together because of the age difference between us," Blair pointed out. "Not to mention the whole, male-male thing." The other man shrugged his shoulders, showing his indifference to that.
"Please, there's like a fifteen year difference between my mom and dad. And he watched her grow up because she was the younger sister of his best friend," Patrick informed him. "They got married when she was, like, seventeen and he was thirty-two. No one even looked twice at them, so the way I see it, the fact that the two of you had apparently decided to wait until you were eighteen says something about your commitment to each other. And you know nobody cares about same sex relationships anymore. That's so forty years ago."
"We didn't want Jim to get into any trouble because he was seeing someone under eighteen," Blair told him, ignoring the same sex argument. "We thought we were taking a big enough chance just because I had been a student of his, but we didn't want the added headache of my being underage."
"It sounds like the two of you really thought this thing out a lot," Patrick observed, watching as Blair walked over to his desk where he had already set out pictures and saw him pick up one of Jim and himself that Patrick had taken when the three of them had gone out hiking one day the year before. Blair's fingers ghosted over the image of Jim and Patrick's heart broke as he thought of the hurt that his friend had to be going through.
"We did. I mean, it wasn't like we were going to be making this big announcement or anything, but we weren't going to hide how we felt about each other," Blair explained. He turned water filled eyes to his friend. "But now..."
Patrick went over and wrapped his arms around Blair. "He's alive, Pat. He has to be. The Fates couldn't be so cruel as to take him away just what we found each other."
"If he's alive, Blair, we'll find him. I don't know how or how long it will take, but we'll find him," Patrick promised. "I'll talk to my Dad and my uncle. I'm sure between the two of them; they can pull in enough favors to get another search party going."
Patrick spent the rest of the day, and well into the evening, comforting Blair who had gone silent, knowing that he couldn't leave Blair alone in case the boy did something stupid. He didn't think Blair would hurt himself or something along those lines, but he wouldn't put it past him to head off to the jungles of Peru in search of Jim himself, possibly getting himself killed in the process. Blair had withdrawn into himself, muttering to himself that Jim had to be alive, and Patrick found that he began to pray for the same thing, knowing that if indeed Jim Ellison was dead, that in all likelihood, Blair would follow him shortly and that knowledge scared Patrick to death.
Part 16
Jarod's head jerked up as his office door was thrown open, admitting a highly agitated Blair Sandburg. It was a sight that the Sentinel had figured was coming once he had found out that the student had returned from his summer vacation with his mother. Jarod was positive that Blair would come see him when he found out about Jim's plane disappearing. Jarod stood, motioning for Blair to have a seat.
"Blair, it's good to see you, although I'm sure we both wish it had been under better conditions," Jarod said, greeting the younger man, at the same time sending a message to his wife and asking her to join them.
"What's being done to find Jim?" Blair asked, not bothering with any pleasantries.
The eighteen-year-old had spent the past three days trying to find out any and all information he could about the disappearance of the plane that had been carrying his love to Peru and he had gotten nothing but the run around. It seemed no one wanted to tell Blair anything about the plane going down, the official statement being that there had been technical difficulties on the flight and that it had gone down somewhere in the rain forest of Peru and that everything possible was being done to locate it and any survivors. Blair didn't believe a word of it. He had spent too much time with too many different people to not be able to recognize the lies for what they were. To the American government, Flight 218 was history and the relatives and friends of those on board should move on with their lives and mourn those that had died. Blair refused to cooperate with that, intent on finding Jim and bringing him home.
Jarod stood and went over to Blair, knowing that what he had to tell Blair wasn't going to be easy for the young man to hear. It was why he had sent for Miss. He urged Blair over to the couch that took up one wall of his office, forcing him to sit.
"Blair, I want you to believe that we are doing everything possible to find Jim," Jarod informed the wayward Guide.
"That's not what I've been seeing," Blair shot back. "Sure, they're saying they're looking, but I'm not stupid. I can tell when I'm being lied to." Jarod shook his head, not surprised by Blair's outburst. He looked up as his office door opened, his wife entering the room. He turned his attention back to Blair.
"Blair, look, I know it appears that we aren't doing anything, and maybe the government and the airline isn't doing as much as they could," the Sentinel explained. "But, you have to believe, we are looking for Jim. He's a Sentinel. One of the strongest Sentinel's in recorded history and that's without his Guide. He's one of us and he was on that plane doing us a favor. One we had to talk him into doing because he hadn't wanted to go. There is no way we would leave him down there, no matter what his condition."
"Blair," Miss Parker joined her husband and Blair on the couch. She wrapped her arms around the scared young man, able to feel the tension in him as it coursed its way through his body. "We will find Jim. We promise that." She pulled back, allowing him to look into her face and decide for himself whether she was lying or not. "Guide to Guide, I promise, we will find your Sentinel for you."
Blair looked at Miss, trying to decipher her words. The fact that she had basically called him a Guide, saying that Jim was his Sentinel didn't escape his notice. He was touched that these two had apparently taken Jim's request seriously when he had asked that Blair be made his Guide. Blair's only regret was that, because the role was only one in name only, not one that was genetic, that it wouldn't be of any real use to his future lover.
"Blair," Jarod said, "We're doing everything we can to find Jim, but we can only do so much. What we need is the help of Jim's Guide." Blair knew what Jarod was talking about. The Sentinel meant Jim's true Guide. The one that he was destined to be with, not someone who was just filling in. A Sentinel and Guide were bonded at the most basic of levels. They had the ability to be able to sense where the other was. It was one of the ways that nature helped them know when the other was in trouble. It hurt Blair to know that he could never have that kind of bond with Jim, no matter how much they might want it otherwise.
"I know," he admitted, "but you've all said that there was no way to know where Jim's Guide was. His records were sealed and then destroyed. Right?"
"Yes," Miss answered. "In the strictest sense, those records were destroyed. But there are other ways of finding his Guide. We don't have to rely on just the tests done at birth."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is that, all Guides and Sentinels have to ability to recognize others, if they know what they're looking for," Miss explained. "They can also tell if the other is bonded or not?"
"So you're saying that if a Guide or Sentinel ran into Jim's Guide, they would be able to tell if he was a Guide? But how would they know it was Jim's?"
"Well, if they ask just the right questions, it would be pretty easy," Jarod said.
"They would just have to discover the Guide who didn't know he was one, wouldn't they?" Blair seemed to think about that for a minute and could see where that was a possibility, but he couldn't understand how that would help Jim now. What were the odds of something like that happening. Miss and Jarod could tell what the student was thinking and continued their explanation.
"Blair, I know it sounds far fetched, but that is how we discovered Jim's Guide."
"You're saying you actually know who Jim's Guide is?"
"Yes," Jarod answered, taking a deep breath, knowing the next thing he was going to say wasn't going to make the young man happy. "We've known for six years who was destined to be his Guide."
"Six Years," Blair leapt out of his seat, turning accusing eyes to the two people that had helped Jim over the years. The two people that the younger Sentinel had trusted more than anyone.. "How could you have known who Jim's Guide was for six years and not tell him? I thought you cared about him. I thought you were his friends."
"We are his friends," Miss rushed to reassure Blair. "We didn't want to keep it to ourselves that we knew who Jim's Guide was. We wanted to tell him, so many times, but our hands were tied. We couldn't. Not until the Guide was eighteen. Then, no matter what the Guide's mother wanted, it would be her son's decision as to whether or not he wanted to bond with his Sentinel."
"How old is he now?" Blair didn't even allow himself to think of how his relationship with Jim would change if his Guide wanted to bond with him. All that he could think about was that Jim's Guide would be able to help find him.
"He just turned eighteen this past summer," Jarod replied.
"And have you told him about his being Jim's Guide?"
"We're doing that now," the Sentinel said, his eyes meeting Blair's blue ones. Blair stared at Jarod. He knew there was something that he wasn't being told.
He looked between the husband and wife, trying to figure out what it was and then it hit him. The reason why he and Jim had no problem functioning as a Sentinel and Guide. His mother's hatred of Sentinels. The reason he was drawn to Sentinel Studies, even though he was raised to detest everything to do with those with heightened senses.
"No. It can't be. Naomi would never do anything like that."
"Blair, I'm sorry," Miss said, taking the crying young man into her arms and offering whatever comfort she could to him. "God, I wish we could have told you this under better circumstances, but we couldn't wait until later. We need your help, Blair. We need you to help us find your Sentinel."
Part 17
Jim looked around the village that had become his home over the course of the last two months. He and the other survivors had been welcomed by the Chopec who had rescued them and they had found themselves being invited to share the homes of the villagers. Everyone had recovered from the ordeal of the crash and was waiting patiently in the hopes that someone would discover where they were. It wasn't that they didn't appreciate the hospitality they were being given, they just missed home and the people that believed they had died.
Jim sent out his senses, loving the freedom that came with being away from civilization, wishing, not for the first time, that he had Blair by his side. He knew the younger man would have loved the opportunity to study the Chopec ways and Jim missed his love. He found himself using the skills that Blair had taught him to control his senses, all the while honing them to the point that he didn't even have to think about it anymore. With the help of Incacha, the tribe's Shaman, Jim was becoming a fully functional Sentinal. The only thing missing was his Guide.
"Enquiri," a voice called out to Jim, who sighed as he recognized the owner. Enquiri had become his tribal name shortly after the arrival of the survivors, who had even begun using it.
"Kehari," Jim greeted, turning to face the newcomer, at the same time wondering when Incacha would arrive. He did not wish to be left alone with the other man for any protracted length of time. It wasn't that Jim didn't like the Chopec warrior. Under any other normal circumstances, the Sentinel was sure that he and Kehari would have gotten along acceptably well, but these were not normal circumstances. Jim was a Sentinel, who had yet to bond with his Guide, and Kehari was a Guide who had no Sentinel, his having died at childbirth and he had decided that Jim would make the perfect substitute. Both Jim and Incacha had told Kehari that there was not going to be a bonding between the pair, Incacha having gone so far as to say that Jim had already begun the bonding process with his Guide, but he would not be dissuaded. It had escalated to the point that Jim went out of his way to avoid the Chopec, not wanting to allow any opportunity to present itself that might give Kehari the mistaken impression that Jim might change his mind.
"It is a beautiful day, is it not Enquiri?" Jim only nodded his head, hoping that if he said nothing, Kehari would take the hint and leave. It didn't work. The Warrior turned to face Jim, the desire he felt for the Sentinel obvious even to non-Sentinel eyes. "You should be with the rest of the village down by the river. It isn't often when the whole village can take a day of rest together."
"I'm waiting for Incacha," Jim informed him. "He said something about it getting to be time for my bonding and he wants to prepare me for what is to come." Jim saw Kehari's eyes light up at the news that the Shaman was preparing Jim for his bonding. He hoped that it meant that Incacha was finally going to persuade the Sentinel to bond with him, despite Enquiri's refusal to do so. Kehari knew that those that had come in the downed airplane still hoped that someone would rescue them, but the Guide in him that missed having a Sentinel hoped that he would have time to bond with the Sentinel before that happened, if it ever did. He looked forward to spending the rest of his life in the arms of his Sentinel.
"So, Incacha believes that it is time for your bonding." Kehari nodded his head, the gleam in his eyes at the prospect of the bonding letting Jim know exactly what Kehari was thinking. And, as much as he didn't want to believe it of the Shaman, Jim was beginning to wonder if maybe he had underestimated the Warrior's ability to talk Incacha into allowing him to bond with Jim. If that was the case, as he feared, then Jim wasn't sure what he would do. He knew, in his heart, that he was meant for someone else and, the more time he spent thinking about it, he knew that it was Blair for whom he was meant. They might not have gotten together the usual way for Sentinel and Guide, but that didn't mean that it wasn't a true pairing. Hundreds, if not thousands, of Sentinels and Guides had found their way to each other long before Sentinel/Guide Registration took over.
"According to him, my Guide will be here soon," Jim stated flatly.
"If not so, already," Kehari corrected, sidling closer to Jim so that the two men were touching. Kehari wrapped his arm around Jim's waist, pulling him closer, not acknowledging the way Jim's body stiffened at the contact.
"Enquiri, why do you continue to fight what is destiny? You and I were meant to be bonded. You have no Guide and I no Sentinel. Our meeting was a sign from the Fates that this was to be. The fact that I find you extremely attractive and welcome a chance to spend the rest of my life making you happy is only one of the many benefits of our relationship."
"We have no relationship," Jim growled, pushing Kehari away from him with as much force as he would allow himself. As much as the other man was pushing all of his anger buttons, Jim would not allow himself to hurt him. "You are not meant to be my Guide and you certainly weren't meant to share my bed. Both of those things belong to someone else."
"You're talking about that Blair person you profess to love," Kehari spit out, hating the name of the man he had yet to even meet. "He is not trained as a Guide. He's only a pretender. Even you have admitted this is so."
"Yes, I did say that Blair wasn't trained as a Guide, but that doesn't mean anything. At least not to me," Jim countered, using all of the self control he had to hold back his anger. While he knew that Incacha had welcomed Jim and the other survivors, he didn't want to risk any of the tribe. "Blair has helped me control of my senses more than anyone that I've ever known, both Guides and Sentinels combined. He's helped me discover new ways that I could use them and he is my true Guide. There's nothing that you can do that will change that fact, no matter how much you might wish otherwise."
"But, Enquiri, you're Blair is not here and there is no sign that he will be arriving any time soon," Kehari pointed out. "Yet, according to you, Incacha is preparing you to be bonded to your Guide. I am the only logical choice for that position and I have made my desires known."
"That's for damn sure," Jim muttered, loud enough for the other man to hear.
Kehari ignored the comment and continued as if Jim hadn't spoken at all. "I do not know why you do not look forward to our bonding. I promise to make it as pleasurable as possible for you." Kehari pressed his body against Jim's, allowing the Sentinel to feel the erection that he had. The Guide tried to pull Jim's head down to meet his in an attempt to kiss him, only to have Jim forcibly push him away.
"Don't ever touch me," Jim snapped. "I don't care what you want or think you have the right to, you have no claim to do anything with me. You are not my lover, nor will you ever be. That privilege goes to Blair, if he wants it. And you will never be my Guide. Ever. That is also something that is for Blair, no matter what you or Incacha may think about that."
"As it should be, Sentinel," Incacha's voice floated over to the two men. Jim and Kehari both turned to face the Shaman, the Chopec warrior bowing his head in respect. Jim's face turned red in embarrassment as he realized that the Shaman had been a witness to his loss of temper. "Kehari, Enquiri, is there a problem?"
"Forgive me, Incacha," Jim apologized, "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. You have given us hospitality when it wasn't required and I had no right to argue with one of your tribe."
"There is nothing to be forgiven for, Enquiri," Incacha brushed aside Jim's apology. "You have done nothing wrong." Incacha turned his attention towards his warrior. "Kehari, for what reason do you continue to pursue a relationship with one who clearly does not wish your attention."
"Forgive me, Incacha," Kehari said, bowing again. "I had heard that you were preparing the Sentinel for the bonding with his Guide and, since there are no other that are eligible for that position, I had assumed that you had intended to bond me with him."
"You have assumed incorrectly," Incacha said. "Enquiri's Guide will be arriving shortly. There is no need for a forced bond between the two of you. Now go. I believe you had said that you wished to join in today's hunt."
"Certainly, Incacha." With one last, longing look towards Jim, Kehari left.
"Incacha?" The question in Jim's voice obvious.
"It is time, Enquiri. The wolf will be here soon."
Part 18
"Okay, Blair, just like we practiced," Miss said in what Jarod liked to call her Guide voice, "I want you to concentrate on your link to Jim."
"How can I do that?" Blair questioned. "I can barely hear myself think over the sound of the engines. It's not exactly conducive to a good meditation."
"Blair, trust me," Miss nearly pleaded, knowing how important it was that Blair concentrate of the bond between he and his Sentinel. "Just try and block out the sounds of the engines. It's really a lot easier that it sounds."
"Why do I get the sudden feeling you're talking from experience here?" Jarod and Miss looked over at each other from their seats opposite each other.
"Let's just say that our former employers weren't exactly the safest kind to have and leave it at that, shall we?" Blair could tell that there was a big story somewhere in there, but knew enough not to bother asking. As friendly as Jarod and Miss Parker were, the undergrad knew that there was definitely a lot of secrets in their pasts.
"Okay, here we go." Blair took a deep breath, blocking out the noise from the helicopter's engines and trying to center himself. He sent out what he called feelers along the link that was between himself and Jim, hoping that it would help him locate the missing Sentinel. At least, that was the general belief among those on board the helicopter that William Ellison had gotten for them when he was told that there was a chance to find his son now that his Guide had been located. In fact, the elder Ellison had offered to pay for everything that might be needed to find Jim, wanting to make up for how badly he had treated his son after his wife had left the family. The first step in their little search and rescue operation had been to begin flying patterns over the general area that the plane was believed to go down in.
"Now, Blair, I need you to focus," Miss began again, her voice as low as it could get to still be heard. "Feel the link between you and Jim. The love the two of you have for each other. Can you feel that link?"
"Yes."
"That's good. Now I want you to picture it. You know, like a piece of string that's attached to the two of you." Blair smiled as he did that. "What?"
"It's so beautiful," Blair sighed. "It's a red with gold intertwined. And it feels so strong." Miss grinned herself at Blair's description.
"That's because you're bond is based on love, Blair," she explained. "There's no truer bond out there. It's what makes you so strong. The two of you have developed your relationship naturally. It's extremely rare nowadays for Sentinels and Guides to do and it's what will make you two so strong once you have bonded fully." Blair's smile got even bigger as Miss talked. The concept of the emotions between he and Jim linking them together like this made him happier than anything he had ever imagined.
"Man, if this is what our connection looks like now, I can't wait to see what it's like when we do finally bond."
"It's going to be spectacular," Miss promised. "Now, let's concentrate again on your link. Can you feel Jim on the other end of it?" Blair nodded his head, focusing on his mate. "Good. Now I want you to follow that link. That's how we're going to find your Sentinel, Blair." Blair's eyes suddenly opened, startling Miss who thought he had gone into a deep trance. She knew that's what most Guides did when they were focused on their Sentinel.
"Head west," Blair ordered, his voice authoritative. "I'd say about fifty or sixty miles." Miss relayed those instructions to the pilot, who changed course immediately. "Good, Blair. You did great." There was something in the young man's face that bothered her. "Blair, what's wrong?"
"It's Jim."
"What about Jim? Is he hurt?"
"He's upset," Blair answered. "Angry. There's someone there that's bothering him and Jim doesn't know what to do about it." Blair looked up at Miss, his expression a mixture of fear, anger and jealousy. "Another Guide. Another Guide is trying to claim my Sentinel." Everyone in the plane, including the pilot who knew exactly who it was they were searching for and why having worked for Sentinel/Guide Registration for years, gasped audibly. The idea that a Guide would try and bond with a Sentinel not meant for him or her wasn't unheard of, but it wasn't something that was generally accepted either.
"There's a Guide with him?" Jarod asked, surprised. There was no record of a Guide being on the plane along with Jim and it was something that was recorded. "How?" The people on the helicopter watched as Blair concentrated on his link with Jim, knowing that they were watching something miraculous happen. While all Guide and Sentinels could locate their partners by their links, it wasn't unusual that they would be able to tell the other's emotions, it was extremely rare that the one would be able to tell why the other was feeling the way they were. Jarod and Miss privately agreed to keep a close eye on the young Sentinel/Guide pairing when they got them back home.
"Jim's not alone," Blair began to recite in a trance induced monotone voice. "He and the other survivors have been taken in by one of the local tribes. The Guide belongs to them."
"Blair, how do you know all of this?" Miss questioned softly, not wanting to break the student's concentration.
"Jim," he stated flatly.
"Are the two of you talking to each other," Jarod continued. "Like Miss and I do?" Blair shook his head.
"No. It's not like that. I can see what's going on around him. See everything that he does. I know what's going on with him." Blair's eyes opened again, fury in his blue eyes. "We need to get to Jim now."
"Blair, what happened."
"The other Guide had begun the bonding process," he hissed. "He is trying to take my Sentinel against his wishes."
"Paul," Jarod called out to the pilot, realizing that time was now even more of the essence.
"We're almost there," the pilot called back. "I can see an indentation in the forest up ahead that looks like it came from something crashing into it. I'm going to circle and see if there's some place I can land this puppy."
Hang on, my love. I'll be with you soon, Blair sent through his link to Jim, not sure if the Sentinel would hear it but knowing that he would feel the emotion all the same.
Part 19
"I love you so much, Blair," Jim told his mate, who was busily kissing his way up and down the broad chest of his lover. "I don't know what I would do it you weren't in my life."
"Good thing, then, that you'll never have to know what that's like, isn't it?" Blair grinned just as he made his way down to Jim's cock, taking it into his mouth, engulfing his lover's length in its heat. Jim threw back his head, yelling as his orgasm overtook him, reaching for the curls that he loved so much, only to find air instead. Jim jerked awake, depression filling him again at the same time he registered the fact that he had come in his sleep. The Sentinel groaned as he realized that it had all been a dream. That Blair wasn't with him and that the two of them had not just spent an incredible evening making love by a fire. It took a minute before Jim realized that he was not alone in the hut that had become his home during his stay in the village. Scent from the unexpected visitor took over Jim's sense of smell and another groan came from his lips as he realized who it was.
"Kehari, what are you doing here?" The Guide walked over to where Jim had been sleeping and, as Jim's sight began to adjust to the fading light, Jim could make out what Kehari was wearing, or wasn't wearing as the case may be. It seemed that the native was nude, his erection standing proud against his stomach.
"It is time for our bonding, Enquiri," he answered. "Time for us to become one."
Kehari knelt next to the Sentinel, who found himself backed into a corner. Kehari reached out a hand, stroking it along Jim's cheeks, feeling the five o'clock shadow that had appeared.
"We are not going to bond," Jim shot back, trying to back away from the determined man. "I already told you. I have a Guide and it isn't you."
"Why do you continue to fight me, Enquiri? It was destiny that you and I meet. We were meant to be together." Kehari leaned in, intending to claim Jim's mouth with his own for a kiss, but Jim turned his head at the last minute. "Enquiri, I know that you believe that you were meant for this Blair person that you profess to love. I understand how confused you must be, but you have to trust me. This is right. We were meant to be together. Can you not feel the link between us?"
"The only thing I feel is disgust," Jim spat. Jim tried to push away the other man, but Kehari was bigger than him and the harshness of living in the jungle had given the other man muscles where Jim didn't have them.
"Relax, Enquiri, and I promise you will get much enjoyment out of our bonding."
Kehari pressed his body close to Jim's, enabling the younger man to feel his erection and causing him to fight even harder, with no success. Jim tried to scream, to protest, what was happening to him under the hands of the tribe's Guide, but nothing would come out. He was helpless. Before he knew what was happening, Kehari had removed what little covering Jim had on, and the Sentinel shivered at the feel of naked flesh pushing against his own.
"That's it, Enquiri," Kehari encouraged, "just relax. I promise to make this memorable for both of us." Kehari's words were meant to be encouraging and comforting to the young Sentinel but all they did was allow Jim to know the hopelessness of his situation. Jim knew that what was about to happen, would do so whether he wished it or not and he began to will his mind to do what was necessary for him to endure what was coming. As he felt the first finger invade his body, something that he had promised to Blair would be his right only, Jim sent out a silent apology to the man he loved just as he went into an enforced zone.
"Incacha," Danny called out when he saw the shaman walking into the village.
"Daniel, is something wrong?" Incacha asked when he saw how nervous and worried the young survivor was. Daniel was the only survivor, other than Jim, that Incacha had anything to do with. Like the Sentinel, there was something about the teen that made Incacha believe he was older than his years suggested.
"Why aren't you with Jim? I thought Loquin was going to get you."
"I have not seen Loquin since morning. I have been out gathering some of the supplies that will be needed for Enquiri's bonding ceremony." Incacha could see the confusion Daniel was feeling. "Daniel, what is going on?"
"Jim was resting in his hut and I saw Kehari going in there," Daniel explained. "Jim told me how Kehari has been bothering him about bonding as Sentinel and Guide, so I knew that Jim wouldn't be too happy that Kehari was joining him. I told Loquin about it and he told me not to worry. That he would go find you and tell you what was going on." The Chopec members surrounding the pair were surprised at the swearing that suddenly came from their normally quiet shaman.
"Loquin is Kehari's brother," Incacha said. "He has made it no secret to some that he welcomes a bonding between Enquiri and Kehari. How long ago was it that you saw Kehari enter Enquiri's hut?"
"About fifteen, twenty minutes ago," Daniel answered, fear for his friend entering his voice.
"Come, we have to go and make sure that Kehari has not done something foolish, although I feel it may already be to late."
The Chopec began to rush towards the hut that housed the Sentinel, knowing that something seriously wrong was taking place. The ones that knew English explained to the others what Daniel had told Incacha and they all understood, all too clearly, the implications of what might be happening to the Sentinel. A Sentinel that was forced to bond with a Guide was a danger, not only to himself, but to his tribe. The Guide would not be effective in helping the Sentinel control his senses. In fact, if the Sentinel was not happy with his Guide, it was possible that it would cause those same senses to go spiraling out of control, and the Sentinel could fall into a deep zone, one which he wouldn't come out of. Finally, they reached Jim's hut and Incacha signaled for the others to wait behind him, outside, while he went in to see what was going on.
Incacha slowly opened the door to the hut, peering into the darkness. A small candle was lit on the table that was used to eat and, with that light; the Shaman could make out two figures lying against the back wall. He could hear the light breathing that he recognized as that belonging to someone asleep. As Incacha came closer to the figures, he got a good look at Jim and, seeing the glazed expression in the man's eyes as well as the slow movements that came from his chest, he could tell that the Sentinel was in a full blown zone.
He went to wake the Guide up when a growl from behind him made him turn around, only to be confronted by a large animal. One that he had never seen before in his jungle, but recognized from one of the books that the children had. A wolf.
The growling seemed to be what Kehari needed to wake up, his sated body moving languidly above Jim's. The Guide's eyes grew wide when he saw Incacha above him, but it was the growling animal behind him that quickly gained his attention.
"Dear God, what is that thing?" Kehari swore, backing away from the approaching animal, in turn bringing himself even closer to the zoned Sentinel and causing that wolf to growl even louder. "Incacha, why does it look at me like that? Like it wants to kill me?"
"Probably because it does want to do so," Incacha answered matter of factly.
"You took something of his, something you had no right to, and it wants to punish you for it."
"What do you mean, took something of his?" Kehari split his attention between the wolf and the Shaman. "I have never seen one of those things before in my life, except in pictures. What could I have taken?"
"His Sentinel." At Kehari's confused expression, Incacha continued. "Kehari, do you not recognize a spirit animal when you see one? This is the true Guide to Enquiri, the Sentinel who you have just taken from him."
"But Enquiri had no Guide until me," he protested. "How can his Guide's spirit animal be upset when his Guide doesn't even know about him?"
"Who says that Enquiri's Guide does not know about him? He had even told us of the man that currently guides him. His Blair. Just because he was told that he wasn't a Guide, nor was he trained as one, doesn't mean that he does not hold that position with Enquiri."
Kehari paled as he listened to the Shaman's words and began to realize just what it was that he had done. Sure, it wasn't common for Sentinels and Guides to not know each other as soon as they were matched, but it had been an extremely long time since they had found each other on their own, with no help at all. For the first time since Jim had entered the village, Kehari wasn't sure that he was the Sentinel's Guide. He looked over at the growling wolf that was now between him and Jim and became scared of what the other Guide would do to him for his forcing of the bond upon the Sentinel. The only thing he dared hope for was that his death would be a quick one.
Part 20
Blair ran as fast as he could through the jungle, not paying any attention to where he was heading, just knowing that he had to get there quickly. The others in his party were forced to try and keep up the frantic pace the young man was using, knowing that whatever was pushing him to do it could only mean one thing. That Jim Ellison was in danger.
A few minutes later Blair and company found themselves on the outskirts of the native village. None of the residents noticed their arrival as there seemed to be some kind of commotion at the other end. A large group of men and women, including Americans the rescuers noticed, were huddled outside of a hut. Blair led the way over to the crowd, afraid of what he would find. As they got closer, the natives and survivors noticed their arrival and, recognizing Blair from the picture that Jim had of him, made a pathway for the Guide leading to the front of the hut. Blair tentatively walked to the entranceway, gasping as he saw what was going on inside.
A man, a Shaman Blair guessed by the way he was dressed, was standing over a huddled form while another man was sitting nearby, muttering to himself. Blair paid no attention to the one when he realized that the man the Shaman seemed to be protecting was his Sentinel.
"Jim," Blair exclaimed, rushing over to the older man's side, pushing Incacha out of the way in his haste. Blair looked over Jim's injuries, immediately registering what had happened to his mate and had to forcibly stop himself from harming the one that had done it. He didn't even need the others to confirm his suspicions as to the culprit of the crime, his connection to Jim told him everything. He turned accusingly towards the Shaman.
"How did this happen? Why did you not stop him from trying to force himself upon a Sentinel? You had to know what would happen."
"I did not know that things would progress the way they have," Incacha replied, his tone of voice portraying an air of calm that he did not feel. His worry over what damage might have been done to the Sentinel overwhelming. Stories had been passed down through the generations of Sentinels that had been forced into a bonding. Stories that told of how the Sentinel was eventually forced out of the village because they were no longer stable. "I had no reason to believe things would get this far out of control."
"That's bullshit," Blair spat as the rest of his group finally made their way into the hut. He could hear the others gasp as they saw the state that Jim was in. Jarod and Miss went over to Jim, the other Sentinel using his senses to try and see what was wrong with Jim while his wife did what she could to help Blair. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Jarod finally spoke.
"I can't find anything physically wrong with Jim," he announced.
"Then what's wrong with him," Blair cried, going back over to his would- be lover.
"I think he went into an enforced zone," the Sentinel stated. "He went into himself to get away from whatever was happening to him."
"My God," Miss muttered. "How do we get him out of it?"
"I don't know," Jarod admitted.
"What do you mean, you don't know," Blair cried out. "You have to know. There has to be something that we can do to help him."
"Blair, you have to understand. What Jim did is extremely rare," Jarod explained.
"There aren't too many documented cases of a Sentinel that has had to force himself to do this."
"But there are cases?" William Ellison asked from the entrance of the hut. The elder man wanted nothing more than to go over and take his still son in his arms, but knew that his best bet would be with Blair. Jarod and Miss looked at each other, talking silently to their spouse.
"There are," she finally admitted. "But..."
"But the Sentinels that forced themselves into a zone never recovered," Jarod finished. Blair shook his head, not wanting to believe what he was being told. That there was a good chance that Jim, his love, would not survive this zone out was not even a possibility he wanted to consider. How was he supposed to go on if he lost his Sentinel? His other half. His soul mate.
"No," he denied. "Don't you say that. Don't you even think it. Jim will survive this. I'm his Guide and I will get him to come out of this. You'll see."
"Blair, honey," Miss said from her place by his side. Her heart broke as she saw the anguish that the younger man was in and wished there was something she could do for him and his Sentinel.
"No," he continued to mutter, his arms wrapping around Jim, protecting him from the others who were so ready to give up on him. "Come on, Jim. You can do it. Come back to me. Listen to my voice and follow it back. Come on, big guy. You can do it. Show them how wrong they are. Come back to me, baby. I miss you. Gods, you have no idea how much I want you." Blair continued to whisper softly to his Sentinel, trying to coax the older man out of his self-induced zone. He never noticed as the others left the hut, taking with them the Guide that had caused all of the grief they were going through. All of his thoughts were on the man in his arms and how he was going to get him to come back to him.
Once the others got outside, the newcomers all turned to face the natives, questions all on the tip of their tongues as to what had happened to cause Jim to go into his self-induced zone. Incacha raised his hand, anticipating the questions.
"There is much we need to discuss, I know," he began. "But first, your journey has been a long and hard one. Allow us to make you comfortable while we deal with the one that has caused this pain to befall Enquiri." Incacha shouted to some of the tribe that were still nearby, speaking in a language that none of the new arrivals understood but it appeared to get the natives working in earnest.
The man that had been in the hut with Jim was taken away by two warriors, the others in his tribe refusing to meet his eye. Incacha led them over to the river that the tribe used to bathe in, some locals leaving them soap and other things to help them freshen up.
"Please, feel free to cleanse yourselves. I will go check on our Sentinel and his Guide and see if any progress has been made in reaching Enquiri. Unlike you, I believe that the bond that the two of them have will prove substantial and will help the Sentinel recover," Incacha said.
"But they haven't bonded yet," William said.
"There are many bonds," the Shaman informed them. "The one that was forced upon the Sentinel was but one of them. The one shared by them is much stronger than most because it is a true bond. One that comes from trust and love. Nothing can break that." And, after saying that, Incacha left the Americans to check up on his charges.
"Jim, come on, man. Come back to me. Come on. You have no idea of what this is doing to me," Blair was still muttering when Incacha entered the hut again. The Guide barely looked up at the Shaman, all his attention focused on the man in his arms. Incacha just sat off to one side and watch the Guide do his job.
"Jim, come on. If you don't come back to me how are we going to do all those things that we said we would? Remember? You promised to take me fishing at your favorite fishing place. We were going to camp out and make love under the stars. Heck, we don't even have to be back in Cascade to do that. We can do that right here. This place is so beautiful. I bet you love walking around the jungle, patrolling and making sure the tribe was okay just like the Sentinels of old. I would love to do that with you, but I need you to wake up for me. Please, Jim." Blair's voice began to crack as his emotions began to get the better of him. He looked over at Incacha who nodded encouragingly at the young man.
"Go on, young Guide. Bring your Sentinel back to you." Blair nodded, turning his attention back to Jim.
"Jim, did I tell you. I really am your Guide. Jarod and Miss told me. They said they couldn't tell us before because I was underage but now I'm eighteen so it's cool. But I need you back here with me, Jim, or else they're going to think I'm the worst Guide in history. I mean, come on, what kind of Guide loses their Sentinel before they even bonded to them?"
"Never lose me," came a whispered reply. Blair looked down at the face of his love, smiling when he saw a pair of sky blue eyes looking back at him.
"Jim?"
"Hi, Chief." Blair held Jim closer to him, the Sentinel wrapping his arms around his Guide, the two lovers holding each other and reveling in the presence of their love.
Part 21
Blair continued to hold Jim in his arms, his grip unyielding. He wanted to make sure that his Sentinel felt safe enough to come back completely from wherever it was that he had gone when the other Guide had tried to rape him. He didn't want to take any chances that Jim would go back to that zone he had been in.
"Enquiri, you and your Guide are truly a remarkable pair," Incacha said from his place by the door. "You and this young one are proof that the fates can never be denied. I'm glad that you are recovered."
"I wouldn't go that far," Jim muttered, barely loud enough for the others to hear. Incacha looked closely at the two men, watching the intimacy between them. The Shaman knew that the two were not lovers yet, Jim had admitted that much to him, but he could see that there was no denying the love between them and Gods help the person, or people, that tried to get between them.
"What do you remember, Jim? Blair asked his soul mate.
"Everything," Jim answered, shuddering as the memories surfaced. Jim drew Blair closer to him, almost as if the younger man would be able to protect him from what had happened. Blair could feel the fear that raced through Jim's body and held him closer still.
"Shhh, Jim," Blair said, soothing his love. "I'm here, Jim. Everything's going to be alright. I won't let anything happen to you, now. I've got you. Nothing's going to happen to you now."
"I know, Blair," Jim admitted. "But it's like he's still here. Like he's right in this room with us." With each sentence he spoke, Jim's voice grew tighter and tighter. Blair could tell that that the Sentinel was reliving what had happened before he arrived.
"But he's not," Blair reminded him. "It's only me and you." A cough from the side of the hut reminded Blair that they weren't quite alone. "Well, and Incacha, too."
"Enquiri, I am truly sorry for what Kehari has done to you," the Shaman began. "I know it is difficult to believe, but I truly had no idea that he had gone that far out of control. If I had known what he had been planning I would have made sure to keep him away from you."
"I know, Incacha," Jim assured his friend. "I know you would have done your best to make sure that he never got near me." Blair could feel the tension that racked Jim's body as they discussed his near rape. Blair wished they could stop talking about what had almost happened but knew that it had to be discussed.
"Jim, love, do you know how far he got?" Blair hated himself for his question, feeling the affect it had on the Sentinel.
"I don't think he went through with it," Jim told them after assessing how he felt. "I don't feel any pain anywhere. Well, other than a headache. He must have stopped before going any further."
"That makes sense," Incacha joined in. "If I'm correct, when Kehari was faced with your deep zone, it broke through whatever compulsion he had to force such a bond with you. It caused him to stop in fear of the fact that he might have caused irreparable damage to you."
"What will happen to him?" Blair wanted to know.
"Something like this is unprecedented," Incacha replied. "It has never even been anticipated that a Guide would wish to inflict such harm upon a Sentinel. Unfortunately, even we have had someone force themselves upon another such as this so that punishment will most likely be enforced, if not even more strongly."
"What do you mean?"
"In the most likely case, I believe that Kehari will be put to death," Incacha admitted.
"Do you agree with that punishment?" Blair asked, becoming the spokesperson for the couple.
"Whether I agree with it or not is beside the point," the Shaman admitted. "It is the way of the tribe."
"What if I don't think he should die?" Jim quietly inquired, causing Blair to face him.
"Jim, don't you think the bastard should be punished for what he did to you," Blair asked. "He almost raped you. If it wasn't for the fact that you put yourself into a zone, he probably would have done so. You can't let him get away with that."
"That's not what I'm asking," Jim stated. "I just don't think that he should be put to death because of it." Jim took Blair face in his hands, hoping to help his mate understand what he was thinking. "Blair, think about it. Yes, he should pay for what he did, but I don't think it should be with his life. He could have raped me. He didn't have to stop just because of my zoning, but he did."
"What do you think should be done to Kehari, Enquiri?"
It was later that evening that Jim and Blair finally left the hut. Incacha had left the two men alone, knowing that they needed to talk about everything that had happened to them since they had been separated, and also that they needed to reinforce their own bond, getting rid of the stench of the act that had been committed against the Sentinel. Incacha had told everyone that he would not allow anyone in to interrupt the two of them, and that included William Ellison, telling them that they needed time to heal from everything that had happened. That, even though it was the Sentinel that had been abused, his Guide still felt it because of their bond.
Jim and Blair slowly made their way to the middle of the village, where everyone was near the fire. They greeted people as they went, Jim introducing Blair to the tribe's people and the other survivors. Everyone made sure that there was no mention of what had happened to the Sentinel, knowing that it would be difficult enough for him to deal with the sentencing of Kehari without having to relive the ordeal he had gone through. When they had finally reached the center of the group, Jim and Blair turned in a slow circle, taking in everything around them. Finally, Incacha entered the circle, followed by what appeared to be the other leaders of the tribe.
"We are here to announce the fate of Kehari, warrior and Guide of the Chopec tribe," the Shaman announced to all as silence descended upon the group. The crowd parted as two other warriors brought forth the warrior in question, his head down in shame.
"Kehari, you have been accused and found guilty of having committed the worst crime possible a Guide can commit against a Sentinel. Trying to force a bond through sex, knowing that that is not the only way of bonding with one and trying to rip apart the bond a Sentinel had with his Guide already. What say you?"
"I am sorry, Incacha," Kehari apologized. "I know what I did is unforgivable and that I may be punished. I accept whatever it is that you and the others decide to give me."
"So be it. Originally, the punishment was to be death." The crowd stayed silent with this announcement. It was something that was expected and many approved of it. "But, Enquiri has asked that your life be spared and since he is the one that was the victim, we took his words seriously.
"Kehari, warrior and Guide of the Chopec tribe, you are sentenced to life exile. Never again are you to know the sanctity and safety of the tribe. You are to leave here, taking only those things that you can carry with you." Kehari nodded as his sentence was announced, knowing that he was getting off easy. He turned and, with his two escorts, made his way out of the center of the tribe. As he passed Blair and Jim he looked over at the pair, trying to get them to meet his eyes. Jim refused, unable to look at his attacker, while Blair's eyes were so full of pity and malice that Kehari had to look away. The shamed warrior allowed his guards to move him away from the pair, knowing that it would be the last time that he would see any of his fellow tribe members again and knowing that he was destined to never be a Guide to a Sentinel again.
Part 22
Jim and Blair lay on the bed that had been made up in Jim's hut. The two of them had finally been able to excuse themselves from the get together that had been used to help the tribe deal with the actions of Kehari. It had been a long time since someone had been exiled from the tribe and Incacha knew that, while the other members of the Chopec understood the necessity of the punishment, they also knew Kehari as a good man and would take his absence hard.
The only bright spot that had come from the evening's activities was the announcement that the Sentinel and Guide were now fully bonded. Incacha had also announced that Jim and Blair were one of the strongest pairings that he had ever heard of and knew that they would be capable of many great things. It was with that announcement that the tribe had finally relented and let the exhausted pair leave.
"Are you okay, Jim?" Blair asked the Sentinel as they lay together in the dark. Blair had been able to feel the tension that had been running through his mate's body all night and wanted to help Jim any way he could.
"I've been better," Jim admitted. "I just don't know how to deal with this. I've never had anything like this happen to me before."
"Jim, most people have never had to deal with something like this before," the younger man said. "And the fact that you're here, not still in that same zone you were in when I first arrived just proves how strong you truly are."
"If I was so strong, I should have been able to do something to stop him." Jim couldn't make himself say the other Guide's name. It was almost as if, by saying his name, Jim would be giving him more power over him. The Sentinel knew it was a stupid thing to think, but he couldn't help it.
"Jim, what could you have done?" Blair asked, raising on his one arm and looking down on his mate's face. "He was larger than you and, trust me, that's saying something. Not to mention, we're talking about a trained Guide and Warrior. He knew exactly what he needed to do in order to get what he wanted. And he wanted you, which is understandable." Even in the dark, Blair could see that his comment did what he wanted it to. It caused Jim to smile, even if only a little.
"Jim, look, I know it will take some time for you to be able to deal with everything that happened here." Blair snorted. "Hell, I'm surprised any of you are as capable of dealing with everything as well as you are. First, your plane crashes in the jungle. Then you're taken in by the locals, thankfully. None of you had any idea of when, or even if, you were going to be rescued. And then, for you, you had to deal with the unwanted advances of someone who wanted to be your Guide, even though his Shaman was telling him otherwise."
"You make it sound like what we've gone through is something to be proud of."
"You should be proud," Blair told him. "You are one of the strongest men that I have ever had the privilege to know. And knowing that you love me, have chosen me to spend your time with makes me so happy that I don't know what I've done to deserve you."
"All you did was be yourself, love," Jim answered. Jim hugged Blair closer to him, the two men snuggling up against each other. "I love you so much, Blair. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't of found you."
"Probably gone on the way you were going," Blair replied. "Maybe found yourself someone to love, settled down. Had a few kids. The same things that everyone else does. You would have led a long and happy life."
"I don't think so," Jim argued. "I mean, I probably would have lived a long life, but I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't have been a happy one if you weren't in it." Jim leaned over and placed a gentle kiss against Blair's mouth, both men sighing with the physical presence of the other. "You make me complete, Blair. You make me sane."
"That's debatable." Both men laughed again, the tension from the earlier talk of the attack finally subsiding.
"You know what I mean, smartass." Blair and Jim continued to smile. "You make me want to keep going on. You're my strength. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you in my life."
"Hopefully, you'll never have to find out," Blair told him, leaning over to kiss Jim once more. They continued to kiss lightly, not bothering going any further, having both decided to wait until they returned to Cascade and the lives that they had started to make for themselves before this detour to make love. They wanted their first time to be something special and they wanted it to be in their home when they did it.
"Incacha, thank you for your hospitality," Jim said, taking the Shaman's hands in his own. "You have been very helpful and there is no way that I can properly thank you for it."
"As long as you and your Guide are happy, you need not thank me," Incacha replied. The Shaman motioned towards Blair, signaling the younger man to join them. Blair did so immediately. Everyone else, both survivors and rescuers were making their way towards the helicopters that would take them to Lima.
"Blair," Incacha began, "you and Enquiri are special. Always remember that. The two of you are destined to do great things. It is up to the two of you as to what great things you do, whether they are for good or evil." At both the Sentinel and Guide's startled looks, Incacha continued. "Yes, for good or evil. While it isn't common, it is entirely possible, and not unheard of, for a bonded pair to go against their natures. To do harm against the tribe instead of protecting them. But, I have a feeling that will not be the case with the two of you."
"We'll try to make you proud of us, Incacha," Blair promised.
"We will do everything we can to do good," Jim added. Incacha nodded his head, accepting their promise.
"That is all I can ask. Go forth, my friends. Live well. Remember all that you learned here," the Shaman said.
"We will." Jim took the Shaman in his arms, giving the smaller man a hug before leading Blair over to the remaining copter. The two got in, joining Jarod, Miss, and William and the helicopter began its assent. Jim looked down at the receding figures of Incacha and the other Chopec. While he was happy to be returning to his home and the life he had in Cascade, including his soon to be sexual relationship with Blair, he knew that he would miss his teacher.
In the short time that Jim had been with the Chopec he had learned a lot about dealing with his senses and had come to consider the tribe his own. As long as he lived, the Sentinel knew he would always be Enquiri to these people and he was happy with that knowledge.
"Jim?" Jim turned to face Blair. "How does it feel to be going home?" Jim looked over at his friends and family.
"It feels good, Blair. Really good." Jim leaned over and kissed Blair's lips. The younger man smiled at his mate, who returned it easily. "I love you, Blair.
"Love you, too, Jim."
The End.
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Acknowledgments: Thank you to Mary for the fast beta. Thank you to Corinne and Patt for the art.