Tonight is about me and Jim committing to each other. Four years of other men and women are behind us; we're taking our relationship to the next level. Jumping in feet first and hoping the water's deep enough. Sink or swim. Fish or cut bait. Christ, enough with the analogies, Sandburg, it's time to leave the safety of the bathroom.
Jim is waiting upstairs for me. Waiting for us to take the next step. Waiting for...
Shit! Just shut up already and go upstairs.
I can do this. I. Can. Do. This.
Why am I so fucking scared? We've already admitted our feelings. We spent the better part of the evening necking on the couch, but now comes the scary part. Comes. Oh god. Stop shaking, damnit!
I realize I'm trying to be quiet and consider smacking myself in the head. There's no such thing as quiet for Jim; he's a Sentinel, after all. The lights are turned off when I come out of the bathroom, but I can see the flickering of candlelight upstairs so I hurry.
One. Two. Three. Stop counting the steps, idiot.
I stop at the top of the stairs, struck deaf, dumb but, thankfully, not blind, by the vision before me. I always knew Jim had a perfect ass, but this is the first time I've been able to catch more than a glimpse of it. Lusciously round, smooth, just ripe for biting. Maybe I'll keep that a secret for now. No need to scare him right away with my kinks.
He's lying on his side now, the top leg angled down, covering most of his groin from me. I mean, sure I've seen him naked, but there's a difference between just out of the shower naked and naked waiting for a lover. Right now, he's naked for me and he's more gorgeous than ever.
This is the moment of truth. The moment I show him what I have to offer. What I've hidden from him. Slipping my fingers in the waistband of my boxers, I pull them down, bending to follow their descent to the floor. Slowly, I straighten.
Here. Here I am. It's all me. All ten inches of thick cock. And what's the first thing he says to me?
"You're shaved."
"Yeah." Smooth answer.
He keeps looking, like he's never seen me before, which he hasn't naked, so I just stand here and let him. I figure I made the first move, the next one is his. I'm the one standing here like a proud flag waver on an American holiday. I'm letting it all hang out, now it's his turn.
Show me that hard dick, baby!
As if he can read my thoughts, he slowly sits up, leg still in the way of what I want to see. I rise up slightly on tip toe. Just another inch, that's all I need.
And then he stands.
Stands erect? Stands half hard? What the hell is that?
My last thought comes back to me: Just another inch, that's all I need.
I can't laugh. I can't. I can't do that to him. Hell, here I thought I was the one who was gonna need comfort, and it looks like I've got dick to spare.
Say something. Something nice. Something not about size.
How's the weather?
No, dummy!
Wanna get some coffee?
No, we're running short.
Oh shit, I just smiled. Fuck. Yeah, not.
Nice to see you?
No. No.
Okay, got it.
"Come here."
And he steps towards me, his little dick so out of proportion with his built body. It looks like a Vienna Sausage in a Kielbasa factory. Guess there aren't weights he can lift to build that up.
Once he's close enough, I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing our bodies together. Intimately. I can feel *it* against me. A hard, hot, small dick.
I'm not gonna survive this. I'm not. I need to laugh, just for a second, just to get it out of my system. Get it out. Ha! He'll never get it in.
Oh shit! What if he's a top?
How do I say this? Fuck, how do I find out? Okay, okay.
"So, what do you want to do?"
Yeah, that was good. It was noncommittal, nonjudgmental, non-dick specific.
"Everything," he answers.
Yeah, Jim, no help there, buddy.
"Sucking? Rimming? Fucking?"
"Yes, yes and yes."
Okay, he's not helping me at all here, and he's starting to rub his... that... against me.
I step back, then take his hand and lead him to the bed. Everything will look better once we get into bed.
Or not.
He's not lying beside me, oh, no, he's sitting up, leaning against the headboard and pulling me on top of him. Now Mr. Mini-Meat is jabbing me in the breast bone.
And he's oblivious.
And my cock has seen better days. Better ways. Better lays.
Shut the fuck up! That's not fair! You love this man! You have lusted after him for four years.
Yeah, and I wind up with four measly inches?
Abruptly I sit up, unable to lie on him any longer.
I cannot hurt him. I simply can't. I would cut off my dick... well, my left hand before I do that. It's just a dick. Admittedly, a small dick but obviously Jim doesn't have any problem with it. Hell, maybe he's not happy with my nice big one. I mean, he hasn't so much as said a word to me about it. And I always get comments.
Enough about me. Confront the cock, Blair.
Can I call it a weenie?
I slide my hands up his muscular thighs, through his coarse pubic hair and finally wrap my hand around his dick. I'm trying not to compare my hand size to his dick, but it's so hard. Well, it is. Hard. Very hard. And it's not gonna get any bigger.
This is the last dick I will ever suck. This is the dick of the man I love. This is my Sentinel's dick.
I love this dick.
Jim's head drops back, and his eyes close as I stroke him slowly. This is the first time I can really look at it. It's not that small. I mean, it's small, don't get me wrong, but it's not ugly. It's thick, a good thick, not as thick as mine, but then I've never been with a man as thick as me.
A drop of pre-come leaks out the slit, and I slow my stroking. I need to taste him. As I lean forward, I notice Jim's eyes opening to watch. The tip of my tongue slips out to swipe away the gathered moisture and Jim moans. I don't know whether from the action or the motion, but it doesn't matter. He tastes good.
Licking my lips, I let his cock slide between them slowly, sucking ever so gently on the head. Jim's hips arch up, encouraging me to take more. There isn't that much more to take, but I'm good to go. I ease down the remaining few inches. Cool, no gag response.
Eagerly, I set about giving Jim the best blow job he's ever received. Shifting our bodies around, I get his legs spread and his knees up. My mouth is full of his cock, and my hands are all over his ass and balls. This is fucking nirvana.
With the tips of my thumbs massaging his hole, my fingers are busy tickling his balls. Which, by the way, are huge rapidly drawing up nice and tight. He's close. I have got to taste more of him, so I suck harder, drawing the orgasm right out of him.
With a muffled scream, Jim starts shooting. And shooting. I try and swallow his gift, but it's just too much. Thinking ahead, I open my mouth and let it drip down the length of him, to coat his balls and my fingers. This is gonna be so good.
I look up at his face, making sure he hasn't zoned or anything, and once I know he's safe, I move on. Down.
Using his come, I slide a finger inside his hot ass. Jim lets out this moan, this incredible moan that goes straight to my dick. Oh yeah, he likes this.
I slip another finger in there, and his moans get louder. Hell, I don't think I've even found his prostate yet.
Making that my next priority, I start wiggling my fingers around in the general vicinity. The scream I get in response lets me know I've found it.
"Jim."
He's so far off in la-la land he can't even hear me. His pleasure button has been punched so hard he doesn't even know I've stopped. My dick and my ego are swelling.
"Babe?"
Slowly his eyes open and he smiles. God, that's a satisfied, I killed-cooked-ate-and cleaned the kitchen smile. I put that look on his face. Me!
I am Sandburg! Hear me crow! Hear my cock crow!
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
"Blair?"
Jim's voice brings me out of my ego tripping.
"Yes?"
"Fuck me. Use that great big cock of yours and fuck me hard."
He couldn't have said anything more right at that moment.
"With pleasure," I answer, already reaching for the lube he set out earlier.
He pulls his legs up, holding himself open as I lube up my cock. I am so ready for this. Squeezing more lube on my fingers, I toss the tube away and slide them back inside his warmth. Oh yeah, it's gonna feel so good to get in here.
"Do it already, Chief," Jim begs. "Open me with your cock."
I shake my head, knowing my size could hurt him if I'm not careful.
"Do it, do it slow."
I snort, thinking about the 'do it, do it now' attitude he got from the Army. Thinking that the Rangers probably didn't have this specific idea in mind when they instilled that attitude.
Mind back on Jim's slick wet hole and my hard as hell cock and the Army is a distant memory.
I can do this. I am doing this. I am doing Jim!
Guiding my cock head into him, I can't help but watch as his hole stretches to accommodate my girth. Risking a glance at Jim's face, I see nothing but pleasure. Butt pleasure. Oh man, I need help. I'm gonna lose it.
"More."
I press inwards, eyes on Jim's face, and the silky walls of his asshole clench and caress me. I swear to any God listening that I'll stop if he even so much as winces or I feel resistance, but neither of those things happens. In fact, I have my balls pressed against his ass before I can say circle jerk.
Oh shit, it feels like heaven.
I look back at our joined bodies, his sweet hole stretched taut around my cock. It's amazing. I've never fit this well in anybody else's ass. Or pussy, for that matter. It's like we were made for each other.
Okay, shut up you sentimental shit. Jim wants to be fucked and I'm just the man to do it.
Slowly, I ease out and then press forward again, loving the grunt Jim makes. And I do it again, faster. And he grunts louder. Oh man!
He's done this before! No shit, Sherlock. He's taken big dicks before, otherwise, this wouldn't be so easy for him. What the hell?
Stopping, I wait until he opens his eyes.
"Come on, Sandburg!"
"You've done this before."
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Jim," I say, threatening my retreat by sliding my very happy cock out of its very happy home.
"No!" Jim says, wrapping his legs around me and trying to hold me inside him.
"Tell me."
"Can we talk about this afterwards? Please."
"We will talk," I assure him, "but now, I'm gonna fuck you like you've never been fucked before."
Before he can even form a response I slam my cock back inside him. He screams again, his eyes rolling back inside his head, and I let him have it.
Nothing can stop me. I am a man on a mission. I'm staking my claim. Declaring my intentions. Laying down roots. Marking ownership. This is my Sentinel. My ass. My small dick. Er...well, they belong to me.
Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
Reality drifts away because the next thing I know, I'm waking up with the sun shining down on me from the skylight.
Must have fucking passed out. Yeah, passed out fucking.
God, is Jim okay?!
I slide my hand across the bed and find it empty.
"Jim?"
"I'm coming," I hear him call from downstairs.
Déjà vu! I remember him yelling that last night. Fuck! I bet he woke up Simon on the other side of town with that one. Smiling, I lean back and wait for him to return to our bed.
"Feeling pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?"
Nodding, I take the offered mug of coffee, and he sits beside me.
"Talk," I say after taking a sip.
"About?"
He thinks coy will work with me, but he's way past that. I know his ass inside and out. Literally and figuratively.
I roll my eyes and try to give him my best 'cut the crap' look.
"Okay, okay," he says, setting his mug on the bedside table. "I admit it, I like dick."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"I like big dick?" He smiled sheepishly.
"Something I don't know, Jim."
"I'm a bottom and I hate topping. I don't really like fucking anybody," he says in a rush.
Now that's a surprise. Well, maybe it isn't, but I need to know why.
"Why?"
I don't appreciate the 'are you stupid' look, but I understand it. And forgive it.
"You know, it's not easy living with a small dick. I mean, in the real world, with women and men."
He stops then and I squeeze his hand. He needs to say this. He's probably never said it to anyone else. Ever.
"You can't believe the comments I've heard."
And I think about all the comments that ran though in my head and instantly feel terrible for even thinking them. But I know where he's coming from.
"Probably just as bad as the ones I heard about this monster," I say, gesturing to said monster.
"Hey, that's my monster," Jim says, kissing my shoulder.
"And that's my..." God, I just walked right into that one without a word already in mind.
What do you call a small dick without offending the owner of said dick when small dick guy is your new lover?
"Tube steak of love?" Jim says, laughing even as it comes out of his mouth.
I can't help but laugh then. Not at him, but with him. Always with him. With him forever.
"Bring that tube steak over here, baby, Daddy's hungry."
Unlike last night, Jim's groan isn't of pleasure.
"You had to say 'daddy' didn't you, Chief?" Jim says with a grin.
Yeah, we're gonna be fine. Shortcomings, slips of the tongue and zone outs aside; what's a little dick among friends?
The end.
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Author's Acknowledgements: Thanks to Nicci for the lovely cover! Thanks to Diana and Mary for the beta oh so long ago!